I had reason, Lucia, I'm a total idiot...
Only thought of myself, what it produced in me to see her kissing him, what he told me without even finding out if it was true or not. This falling in love thing is quite complicated, isn't it?...agh...
I lie down on my bed with my eyes flooded but the tears still won't come out, I refuse to believe that she and I...already...aren't anything, God, how much I regret making her fall in love like this, of saying what I said...of not letting her explain herself, I'm a fool.
My days were a total chaos, I tried by all means possible to find out where Melanie was, but nothing...nothing was known.
What torture it is to go back to the same thing as before she appeared in my life, pure silence, eternal solitude....people around me but alone with my pains...pff...come back, never had been very religious, believed in a God but didn't show it, that's all I left for myself; in those days when I was desperately without knowing anything about her, I asked that supreme being if she wouldn't be mine then to leave things as they were, but if on the contrary something nice awaited me by her side, to give me a sign-
Apparently, even heaven was angry with me because they chose the first option (apparently)
Day after day, I kept going out with my friends, kept in total communication with my family, but it was clear – more than clear – that I missed her and more than missing her needed to ask for forgiveness, my words in that motel were cruel, hurtful, I knew I had hurt her.
***
Melanie:
I'm on the Pacific coast of my country, surrounded by sun, sand, beach, and sea, my grandparents still don't understand what's going on with me because of this unexpected trip and I still don't understand who the woman is who raised me for 16 years.
It hurt so much to hear Lucia's words, her accusatory look, her firm voice saying goodbye to her life. God...I can't believe I fell in love with someone from one month, but who wouldn't fall in love with her?
Like they want me to forget her, if I'm not able to take her out of my thoughts for a whole minute?
My days pass by here and without realizing it, day after day passes 2 months...3...4 and I still can't forget her 5...and I know nothing about her life...6 I want to go home and be able to see her even from afar..7...first call from my father.
-mija – my grandmother says (mija means daughter or dear one, it's a word of affection that grandmothers usually say in my country) – your dad is looking for you on the phone
A innocent and automatic smile appears on my lips, I hadn't been able to talk to him all this time, I only knew he was calling my mom but never wanted to pass up talking to her.
-papa? – I ask excitedly
...
-si papa, and you?
...
-te extraño – and a tear escapes from my eye
...
-ven por mi
...
-por que?
...
...
...
-eres igual a ella then?
...
-esta bien – I resign myself – I love you
...
-eso espero papa, don't forget about me
...
-adíos
I hang up the phone and decide to leave my grandparents' house, walk without a fixed route, hear people talking but not listen to anyone, look without seeing anything, walk without getting anywhere, think and not think.
(Bueno, this last one didn't come out, sorry 😞..)
I forgot to say that I left school and entered a semi-university I want to get ahead, I'm studying marketing and publicity, they're careers, not too long and while I decide what to do with my life, I study to work, my life isn't very interesting, I've managed to find some friends here – who for what's the point? – they've treated me pretty well.
So this is how my life has been passing until now, 5 years of being here, my parents have a lot of power and...only now can I finally be independent, in all this time I haven't seen Pepe (my little brother) who mustn't be a kid anymore, when they brought me he was 14, he must be 19 now and I'm 21 – how fast time passes, I never knew anything more about Manuela, suppose. what hurt me what I did to her but I was already past her life, just like now she is with someone else.
I'm with Andrés, a boy I met two years ago at university, first step from being my friend to becoming the best and one crazy night, a bit over drinks, we ended up together, now he's my boyfriend, although - thinking about it well - it's not something that serious, I can say it like going out to eat, going out to dance, having fun, and... sleeping together I'm fully fine with him.
The week ahead I finally graduated, now with two professional titles, and a fixed job.
-Manuela:
Who would have thought?
It's been five years since the Melanie thing, it cost me almost a year to forget her and want to move on with my life.
I'm an architect now, work in a well-known architecture firm, just starting out in my working years.
In my sentimental situation I'm with a man (jjajja, lies... no, that's not it... as long as I go wrong with a woman I'll never leave them for a man) I'm with Lina, after much insisting on me she decided to pay attention, total she was beautiful and I got along well with her, I loved her but still couldn't fall in love.
-Mor comes to my bed and gets on top of me - do we talk or not?
I circle the waistband with my arms - tell me what?
-Manu... - makes a childlike angry face at me - are you talking seriously?
-And do you see me playing? - I don't want to talk about the same thing, and the main reason for our few fights IS WE'RE GOING TO LIVE TOGETHER - I still don't want
-Why?
-Why are you pressuring me so much Lina?
-What's wrong with telling my girlfriend that I want us to live together Manuela? You have a stable job, I do too... we're already very comfortable, what else do you want?
I understood her, she had all the reason, but moving in with a serious woman was a big step in my life that I still hadn't resolved. putting my hands inside her blouse – pajamas – let's not talk about this love, better... - I laughed mischievously – better let's do something more tasty, don't you think?
…
Melanie:
- ahead
- thanks doctor – I went into the office of my boss quite nervous after his call – they told me he wanted to speak with me
- that's it – I looked at her seriously, damn!! I was about to leave, it was the first thing I thought – I want to talk to you about a decision I've made and which I think you already know
- tell me – she answered desolately, I already knew where this was going
- you're an excellent worker Melanie, you're doing well and bringing many benefits, with your art boots and the way you attract clients
- thanks doctor
- don't interrupt me – he corrected her – I want you to go work in the capital
My face was a total shock of sensations that passed through my entire body at that moment, I would return to my place and hadn't planned on returning there.
Melanie?
Señor…
Do you accept?
Can I think about it?
But what do you have to think about, woman! – he stood up from his seat and went to look out the window at who knows who – you have 60% more pay, we'll pay for your stay here, your personal expenses, everything!
- I'm not understanding
- I want you to close the business with the gringos, then if you want you can come back and if not, well, you'll have work with us but from there
- how long is it?
- maximum 2 weeks
- okay!
- then pack your bags because you're leaving tonight
I left that office happy, I was going to see my family again!! I waited until the end of my shift and went out to eat with Andrés, I told him what I was thinking before I left.
Take care, and don't forget about me, okay?
Yes, it will only be 2 weeks
Melanie, I want to talk to you about something – he said taking my hands
- what is it...
- I want us to advance in this relationship, I want us to commit more – I didn't finish saying the rest when Don Sebastián (my boss) called me to tell me that the flight was leaving at... 30 minutes
-Andres, when you get back, let's talk, okay?
-can I ask one last question?
-tell me...
-will you see her?
His question was the detonator that made me collapse the little energy I had to go to my city, I hadn't thought about Manuela in a long time, but if they talked about her, I couldn't forget who she was in my life, she was my first love, it was my first time and maybe the woman and person I loved most...I don't think what I felt for her will ever be equaled.
-no
-ok, my love, that's all I needed to know – he hugged me between his arms – t...love you
-I too
I didn't waste any time going home and arriving at the airport, the trip didn't take long, almost two hours exactly, Andrés' words shocked everything in me Manuela, Manuela, Manuela what will be of her life now?...
** **
-ladies and gentlemen, you may unfasten your seatbelts, the journey has been a success, you can now disembark
*** *** ***
I arrived at the hotel that the company had chosen for me, quite large and luxurious, it must be new because I hadn't heard of it before.
I called my father
-hello dad
-...
-si, I've already arrived, I want to see you
-...
-do you guys still live there?
-...
-is mom here?
-...
-she's fine, I'll come out right away
I was going to see my father, never knew what he thought when he found out that my trip had been because I liked a woman, never talked about it on the phone
Now I would see him, he must be with gray hair, more veteran...I'm dying to see Pepe, and also want to see my mom...whatever it is...it's my mother, I won't be the same with her but nor can I hold a grudge.
I didn't want to rest, my desire to see my family was winning, I took a taxi and headed to the neighborhood where I lived a past life.
So many memories, my friends, teachers, neighbors, she...
Got off the taxi and looked at my house, it had changed a lot, if I hadn't remembered that this was the same place, I wouldn't have known if it was really there, quite nice, quite... adorned.
I submerged myself so much in my thoughts that I didn't care about the gifts I brought and left forgotten in the taxi, the conductor caught up with me and gave them to me... now, encartada with everything I had, collided with a blonde
- Sorry, sorry, what a shame - I said, releasing the gift bags to help her lift
- Don't worry, nothing's wrong - she commented, still not seeing my face
She shook her hair, and when she finally stood in front of me, we saw each other.
God... that was... that was...
-Lina
-Melanie
We said it almost in unison
That woman had changed a lot, if before she was beautiful now she was a very beautiful woman, much taller, with a spectacular body, but with the same self-importance as before
- What are you doing here?
- ... I didn't know what to say when I heard Manuela's voice pronounce the name of the woman I had collided with, my body electrified, I started sweating, I couldn't look at her but knew - 100% sure - that that voice was Manuela's
-Melanie?
- What
- Are you staying?
-No
I left her talking to herself, she was also well affected by the reunion, not causing me anything to see her, it caused me anger to hear Manuela call... why?... before I could understand everything that produced her voice alone.
-MELANIE!!!!!!!!!!
Pepe exclaimed with enthusiasm and joy, God... now he was a complete man, quite attractive, strong, big, muscular, but with the same childlike face
-Pepe! Come here - I ran to where he was and we collided in a strong hug, crying with happiness, and feeling this so nice I couldn't help but feel anger towards my mother, why did I leave this? My family? Why?
-How are you, sister? - she said without letting me go - How long has it been since I've seen you, Melanie... I miss you
-I miss you more, Pepe...
I opened my eyes and saw a man holding onto a cane to stay upright, his eyes welling up with tears, I turned to look a little to his left and saw a woman quite conservatively dressed for to be in my 45 years, and further back I saw a young girl quite pretty. -I knew that man was my father, and the woman my mother, but the young woman didn't know who the hell she was -papa – murmured with a knot in my throat – father – I ran to him, already his arms were open for me, I kissed all over his face and wouldn't stop hugging him, God... what happiness, so much time, such injustice... why did my life become punished because I fell in love with a woman? Now, after being with my father more than 8 minutes, I looked at my mother, she was worse off than my brother and my father together, her tears were many, her expression was one of sadness and joy, emotion and desolation. -hello mom – -daughter – this time it was she who came towards me, I hugged her and closed my eyes, I still wondered who she had become. -how are you? – -fine – I wanted to be a little more expressive with her but couldn't. After seeing her and greeting her, Pepe hugged me and directed me where the young woman was. She was a girl of about 17 years old, I saw her and saw myself reflected, normal height, clear and smooth hair, beautiful face, perfect body, defined figure, and a perfect smile – she is my ex-girlfriend – I extended my hand and with a genuine expression of joy greeted her, to then hug her – hello, nice to meet you – -the pleasure is mine Melanie, Pepe had talked a lot about you. – After giving them gifts, telling each other how our lives were here, we started eating and drinking wine, the few times I saw my mother, she wouldn't take her eyes off mine, she was crying... it seemed remorseful; but then I remembered Manuela's voice, that voice which is so particles, a mix of tenderness with woman. Why was Lina calling me? Were they something? – Melanie, what are you thinking? – I took my little brother out of my thoughts – ah? – No, I don't know, it's been a long time... – Let's talk, okay? – And then? – Let it wait – Pepe... don't be So... -but it's about what happened -and you're embarrassed that she knows about it?
She knows it.
Swallow saliva strongly.
-Then tell her to come with us.
-Doesn't bother you?
-No
-Then go out and we'll catch up to you...
I said goodbye to my parents, my mother held me back and told me she wanted to talk to me; but I told her later.
I left the house and right in front of me was Lina, we saw each other... then I saw leaving... was it her? Was that Manuela? Could it be that she could be even more beautiful?
Yes, I saw her giving me her back, but it was her... I couldn't confuse her, although she looked very different... darker hair, completely black, a little taller, just as thin... God... she was beautiful, I started sweating again and wanted her to see me when unfortunately I saw Lina getting up and going over to her, and kissing her.
Manuela:
The whole afternoon had been spent at Lina's house; we were supposed to stay there if we didn't do anything special or go to my new apartment, since she lived alone just like me.
That day was strange for me from the moment I woke up, I felt an unusual sensation in my body but I didn't know what it was.
We had lunch and I fell asleep, I don't know how much time passed before I got up and found myself alone in the house... the phone wouldn't stop ringing, it could be an important call; so I went to the door and didn't see Lina, it seemed strange because it was open...
I looked for her all over the block when I saw her talking to someone I couldn't recognize... some men were blocking the person she was with.
I called her and turned around... three minutes later I arrived pale and nervous and wouldn't let her leave again; instead, she locked me in the house with her.
I talked on the phone and asked her to go out for a walk and she said later...
Do you remember my friends, Nicolás, Lucia, Estefanía, Pablo, Carlos? Well... they kept going with their band and now they're all known, although everyone works independently because of things Different; that day Lina called me, all of them arrived but the only one who didn't was Lucia.
-Love, do you bring the meats from the kitchen, please? -Lina said, but my friends hadn't even arrived yet; I nodded and paid attention.
When I got up, I stood still while she sat in front of me and suddenly saw her so close to me until I felt her lips on mine.
-Ey, ey, what's wrong with you? -I said, separating her from me, we could be seen... I didn't care about the people but if there were kids, so I stopped her
-Can't I give you a kiss?
-Sure, but look Lina... there are kids playing in the street
-Okay -she said with a smile that couldn't hide
-What's wrong?
-Nothing my love, I love you and you're only mine...
This woman was quite unusual... but I didn't pay attention (a grave mistake on my part)
When we were talking, I saw Carlos' car and got excited, it had been at least a month since I'd seen them, my work now gave me very little time and without thinking Lina was taking away the little time I had left.
They arrived and I hugged them, I was happy to see them... we sat down, while Pablo - trying to hide it - said he would help Lina with the barbecue - but - everyone knew he really wanted to... flirt (Coquetearle, if you understand)
We bought beers and started talking, chatting... having fun, it was fine, I felt happy, I knew I shouldn't drink too much or stay out late but, I was WITH MY FRIENDS!!! The rest didn't matter.
-Nico and Lucia where did they go?
-Manu... we were all in the car, and then someone called her on the phone, she started talking in code - she laughed - and Carlos had to stop the car so she could get out when she was a little ways away and when he saw us all with an expression of not understanding anything said: I'll be there in 10 minutes
-But it's already been half an hour -I said, getting worried, Lucia wasn't like that, and even less would do something like this
-She is, but it was a man's voice, the most likely thing is that she's seeing... someone – I look at everyone and laughed again – someone else
-but if she's with Julian
-so that's why I say – he made quotation marks with his fingers – someone else!
Melanie:
I didn't think seeing Manuela with Lina again would cause me to feel any kind of emotion...
I didn't think I still felt something for her, I saw Manuela looking around at everyone and then they weren't kissing anymore, just Lina embracing her while looking at me.
I froze, unable to look away.
-mel?
-ah... -looked at Pepe in front of me shaking me – what's wrong with you?
-nothing, nothing – muttered barely reacting
He turned around and saw what I was seeing, took my hand, and pulled me away from the other one.
We walked, I didn't know where he was taking me, all I could see was the change that had taken place in my neighborhood over this time. We entered an ice cream shop and I saw Lucia sitting there.
I looked at her with tenderness, cried when I saw she had the same expression as me... She got up and hugged me
-mel...mel...mel... -pronounced looking at me from top to bottom without stopping crying from emotion – so long...
-Lucia – gave her a kiss on the cheek – how are you?
-happy to see you
-I too – made her turn around – but look, you're all beautiful
-you too are
-we sat down, started talking the four of us, I had no idea they were such good friends.
-so that when I was still around here, you two already knew each other?
-exact – said both almost in unison
-what happens is that we didn't know – explained Pepe – that she was your friend and she didn't know you were my sister
-clear – smiled – if you were a silent one who only spoke when you had to speak and then, now, how would I tell you I had a friend?
-we laughed at the twists of fate, none of them talked about Manuela, nor did I opt to ask them about her... except for one thing
-Pepe... do you talk to... m... Manuela?
He looked at me with a sweet gaze, and just by mentioning her name, everything changed from attitude – if nanny (that's how she used to call me affectionately) she...she was looking for me a lot when she realized you had left
A inexplicable smile emerged from me, it had been a long time and it wasn't important maybe for them but it was for me.
-What's up? – questioned, unable to believe it
-If so – moved forward Lucia – don't know how Manuela reacted when I went to look for her and told her your mother had taken you to live with your grandparents
-What did she do, what did she say?
-What did she do? Well, I looked for Pepe, talked to him and begged him to try to find the address where you were, she was going to go looking for you Melanie – sighed, looking elsewhere – What did she say? She treated me like an idiot, a fool...she regretted it, saying something very quickly, something like: I shouldn't have done what I did, I should have let her explain...-her gaze returned to mine – Melanie that girl cried for days because of you, just to tell you that she took almost 6 months to recover from the shock and get into a university.
-Plus – Pepe got involved and took my hands away – she did something none of you three here know
I looked at her, furrowing my brow, wondering what she was talking about? What else could Manuela have done...?
-What did she do?
-Manuela spoke with my mom Melanie...she went to the house and my mom threw her out...insisted twice more but never got anything.
-Do you speak seriously, Pepe?
-Yes.
I remained silent and they kept talking, all this had been because of my damn fear and stupidity and clearly...because of the main protagonist my mom
We finished eating ice cream, Pepe paid the bill and we left there heading for my house, now I should talk clearly with my family
Lucia went off with Aleja, I imagined they were at Lina's, I felt a bit uncomfortable but still told them we'd see each other later.
Now, I was at home with my parents and brothers, my dad sat us down in the living room and said – be the first to speak.
-Melanie, Mariana, your mom sent you to live with your grandparents, why? What happened Did you? How so, I mean my father didn't know anything?...shit!! another lie from my mom, she told me yes.. that's why I also blamed my dad, and again I fell into her trap. -Didn't you say anything to mom? – I asked for an explanation seriously – My dad doesn't know anything? She lowered her face and nodded positively with her head. I laughed – it's the height of impudence -Melanie calm down -What should I calm down, dad? What should I calm down? Do you know what it was like to leave without even saying goodbye, living almost two years without knowing if you were already well or not? At 7 months I only came to hear from you and with Pepe never let me talk...shit, do you want me to calm down when no one lets me stay for the last time with my friends from school...I didn't go to that excursion that we had planned all year, it would be the best, I'm getting away from everything...getting away from her...dad. As you wish... -Who is she? – she interrupted me slowly trying to clarify what I had said – Who are you talking about, Melanie? -I won't talk about this – I said standing up ready to grab my purse and leave the house -No, Melanie – whispered that woman who although it pained me to accept was my mother – Let's talk. -Look, Manuel – she referred to my dad with tears invading her face – My daughter has always mattered more to me than what others say, even more so when it comes to maintaining a good social status regarding the economic situation, we are an important family, respectable but that no longer matters, because I ruined my daughter's life. I had never heard my mom refer to herself like this before, but still I only wanted to hear her out. -I – she continued – saw her differently, saw her more smiling than usual, saw her thoughtful...Melanie was in love – I looked at her trying to say many things that I no longer wanted to hear – Then I saw her a lot with Manuela -Who is Manuela? – my dad suddenly asked me -Manuela...Lina's current partner, the girl who lives here across from the house. Current partner of Lina? Pfff…my parents knew it already… My dad got up and started yelling at my mom, accusing her with his cane – don't tell me Mariana, you sent Melanie to where your parents are because Melanie was having other sexual inclinations, that's what happens woman!? Is that so?? My mom looked at me – just like my brother and I – really surprised – if Manuel, I know I acted very badly, I know I don't have an excuse, I know... -do you know? You made him leave my daughter for five long years and I thought he had gotten into drugs and what you wanted was to distance her from those friendships… -Manuel calm down... -calm down? For God's sake woman, I don't recognize you – I looked at my hurt son – forgive me child, forgive me – he knelt in front of me and took hold of my hands with his, forgive me... At that moment I abandoned myself to sadness, I had judged my father wrong... if he had known maybe... perhaps... this wouldn't have happened. -no papa...shhh... -forgive me – murmured my mom, also in tears – ruin my family. My mother's attitude at that moment seemed repentant... What could I say there... I was hurt with my mom, but I couldn't hate her, she had made a mistake trying to do what was best for me and the family. I talked to all three of them and asked us to start from the beginning, my father didn't want to look at my mom's face, but time would take care of healing all those wounds. Manuela: -until you finally get here!! – was the only thing I could say to Lucia when she was right in front of me – where were you, Lucia? -talking with a friend – commented a bit strange... -is something wrong? -no manu... The whole afternoon and most of the night, or well maybe until 9:30 at night we stayed at Lina's house eating and drinking, when I looked at the clock and saw it was getting late I started saying goodbye. -manu come with us in the car – Lucia said to me... -we don't all fit there... -yes... -what for? -let's go, listen to me. I nodded and We all got on the car when we were already leaving the stable, Lucia spoke up.
-Carlos, do you know where to stop?
-If so, boss - this one replied with a smile.
-How so?
-Manu... it's that... -Nicolás tried to explain - we have something to tell you
-I knew you guys were plotting something because when I got in with Lina and came back out, everyone was different, just like Lucia arrived.
-Is Manuela, what's going on is that...
-Manu... it's that...
-No one could tell me anything, they were already getting to the point of scaring me, Alejandra, Pepe's girlfriend, was also in the car, she looked at me and hugged me
-Manuela... Melanie is here
-God... or are these my worst nightmares or the most beautiful reality
-Melanie?
-Manu... I'm arriving now...
-D...O...N...d...E......e...S...t...a?
-In the house.
-Which house?
-Ay Manuela, silly, if not - Lucia yelled at me - then in front of where Lina is
-And why didn't they tell me?
-Because you were with your girlfriend
-I hadn't thought about that, God... Melanie, I thought I'd never see her again.
-Do you want to go see her?
-Yes. -I replied, sure
-My feet were trembling then, my hands were sweating, my lips were shaking and my eyes just wanted to see her...we got out two blocks back and went almost secretly so Lina wouldn't see us or notice.
-Lucia stepped forward and knocked on the door.
-Mariana opened it... Melanie's mom, looked at us and greeted us... that woman had apologized to me, what was important was - in that moment - that she accepted her mistake.
-Come in - she said softly, smiling so Melanie wouldn't notice
-I was so nervous that Nicolás had to drag me along, I couldn't believe this... it wasn't possible...
-We entered and saw Don Manuel sitting on a large armchair, and Melanie was hugging him from behind, giving us her back, Pepe was greeting his girlfriend in front of us.
-I couldn't believe I was seeing her, from behind, but I knew it was her... I knew she was Ahí, after 5 years... I said her name so slowly and softly that only Mariana could hear it. Lucia started counting with her hands, supposed to be when she said '3' we would all yell 'surprise'. And that's what happened... She turned around startled and saw them, I mean she saw them because I hid behind the door... She started hugging everyone and didn't want to cry... I was even stopping myself from crying when I unknowingly got closer to her... 6 steps... 5... 4... 3 steps... 2... I had her just one step away and gave her a little tap on her back... God, what sensations I had just having her so close... I swear I thought I wasn't going to make it and would pass out... But she turned around and I saw her... Don't let her say a single word, I dedicated myself to hugging her between my arms, hugging her and kissing her hair... Cry, cry as much as I could... Cry without being able to control myself... Cry without knowing why... God... I still loved her, I could prove it just by hearing her name. She wasn't saying any words, anyway, I didn't want to hear anything, I just wanted to squeeze her tight and show her how much I missed her all this time.
Only thought of myself, what it produced in me to see her kissing him, what he told me without even finding out if it was true or not. This falling in love thing is quite complicated, isn't it?...agh...
I lie down on my bed with my eyes flooded but the tears still won't come out, I refuse to believe that she and I...already...aren't anything, God, how much I regret making her fall in love like this, of saying what I said...of not letting her explain herself, I'm a fool.
My days were a total chaos, I tried by all means possible to find out where Melanie was, but nothing...nothing was known.
What torture it is to go back to the same thing as before she appeared in my life, pure silence, eternal solitude....people around me but alone with my pains...pff...come back, never had been very religious, believed in a God but didn't show it, that's all I left for myself; in those days when I was desperately without knowing anything about her, I asked that supreme being if she wouldn't be mine then to leave things as they were, but if on the contrary something nice awaited me by her side, to give me a sign-
Apparently, even heaven was angry with me because they chose the first option (apparently)
Day after day, I kept going out with my friends, kept in total communication with my family, but it was clear – more than clear – that I missed her and more than missing her needed to ask for forgiveness, my words in that motel were cruel, hurtful, I knew I had hurt her.
***
Melanie:
I'm on the Pacific coast of my country, surrounded by sun, sand, beach, and sea, my grandparents still don't understand what's going on with me because of this unexpected trip and I still don't understand who the woman is who raised me for 16 years.
It hurt so much to hear Lucia's words, her accusatory look, her firm voice saying goodbye to her life. God...I can't believe I fell in love with someone from one month, but who wouldn't fall in love with her?
Like they want me to forget her, if I'm not able to take her out of my thoughts for a whole minute?
My days pass by here and without realizing it, day after day passes 2 months...3...4 and I still can't forget her 5...and I know nothing about her life...6 I want to go home and be able to see her even from afar..7...first call from my father.
-mija – my grandmother says (mija means daughter or dear one, it's a word of affection that grandmothers usually say in my country) – your dad is looking for you on the phone
A innocent and automatic smile appears on my lips, I hadn't been able to talk to him all this time, I only knew he was calling my mom but never wanted to pass up talking to her.
-papa? – I ask excitedly
...
-si papa, and you?
...
-te extraño – and a tear escapes from my eye
...
-ven por mi
...
-por que?
...
...
...
-eres igual a ella then?
...
-esta bien – I resign myself – I love you
...
-eso espero papa, don't forget about me
...
-adíos
I hang up the phone and decide to leave my grandparents' house, walk without a fixed route, hear people talking but not listen to anyone, look without seeing anything, walk without getting anywhere, think and not think.
(Bueno, this last one didn't come out, sorry 😞..)
I forgot to say that I left school and entered a semi-university I want to get ahead, I'm studying marketing and publicity, they're careers, not too long and while I decide what to do with my life, I study to work, my life isn't very interesting, I've managed to find some friends here – who for what's the point? – they've treated me pretty well.
So this is how my life has been passing until now, 5 years of being here, my parents have a lot of power and...only now can I finally be independent, in all this time I haven't seen Pepe (my little brother) who mustn't be a kid anymore, when they brought me he was 14, he must be 19 now and I'm 21 – how fast time passes, I never knew anything more about Manuela, suppose. what hurt me what I did to her but I was already past her life, just like now she is with someone else.
I'm with Andrés, a boy I met two years ago at university, first step from being my friend to becoming the best and one crazy night, a bit over drinks, we ended up together, now he's my boyfriend, although - thinking about it well - it's not something that serious, I can say it like going out to eat, going out to dance, having fun, and... sleeping together I'm fully fine with him.
The week ahead I finally graduated, now with two professional titles, and a fixed job.
-Manuela:
Who would have thought?
It's been five years since the Melanie thing, it cost me almost a year to forget her and want to move on with my life.
I'm an architect now, work in a well-known architecture firm, just starting out in my working years.
In my sentimental situation I'm with a man (jjajja, lies... no, that's not it... as long as I go wrong with a woman I'll never leave them for a man) I'm with Lina, after much insisting on me she decided to pay attention, total she was beautiful and I got along well with her, I loved her but still couldn't fall in love.
-Mor comes to my bed and gets on top of me - do we talk or not?
I circle the waistband with my arms - tell me what?
-Manu... - makes a childlike angry face at me - are you talking seriously?
-And do you see me playing? - I don't want to talk about the same thing, and the main reason for our few fights IS WE'RE GOING TO LIVE TOGETHER - I still don't want
-Why?
-Why are you pressuring me so much Lina?
-What's wrong with telling my girlfriend that I want us to live together Manuela? You have a stable job, I do too... we're already very comfortable, what else do you want?
I understood her, she had all the reason, but moving in with a serious woman was a big step in my life that I still hadn't resolved. putting my hands inside her blouse – pajamas – let's not talk about this love, better... - I laughed mischievously – better let's do something more tasty, don't you think?
…
Melanie:
- ahead
- thanks doctor – I went into the office of my boss quite nervous after his call – they told me he wanted to speak with me
- that's it – I looked at her seriously, damn!! I was about to leave, it was the first thing I thought – I want to talk to you about a decision I've made and which I think you already know
- tell me – she answered desolately, I already knew where this was going
- you're an excellent worker Melanie, you're doing well and bringing many benefits, with your art boots and the way you attract clients
- thanks doctor
- don't interrupt me – he corrected her – I want you to go work in the capital
My face was a total shock of sensations that passed through my entire body at that moment, I would return to my place and hadn't planned on returning there.
Melanie?
Señor…
Do you accept?
Can I think about it?
But what do you have to think about, woman! – he stood up from his seat and went to look out the window at who knows who – you have 60% more pay, we'll pay for your stay here, your personal expenses, everything!
- I'm not understanding
- I want you to close the business with the gringos, then if you want you can come back and if not, well, you'll have work with us but from there
- how long is it?
- maximum 2 weeks
- okay!
- then pack your bags because you're leaving tonight
I left that office happy, I was going to see my family again!! I waited until the end of my shift and went out to eat with Andrés, I told him what I was thinking before I left.
Take care, and don't forget about me, okay?
Yes, it will only be 2 weeks
Melanie, I want to talk to you about something – he said taking my hands
- what is it...
- I want us to advance in this relationship, I want us to commit more – I didn't finish saying the rest when Don Sebastián (my boss) called me to tell me that the flight was leaving at... 30 minutes
-Andres, when you get back, let's talk, okay?
-can I ask one last question?
-tell me...
-will you see her?
His question was the detonator that made me collapse the little energy I had to go to my city, I hadn't thought about Manuela in a long time, but if they talked about her, I couldn't forget who she was in my life, she was my first love, it was my first time and maybe the woman and person I loved most...I don't think what I felt for her will ever be equaled.
-no
-ok, my love, that's all I needed to know – he hugged me between his arms – t...love you
-I too
I didn't waste any time going home and arriving at the airport, the trip didn't take long, almost two hours exactly, Andrés' words shocked everything in me Manuela, Manuela, Manuela what will be of her life now?...
** **
-ladies and gentlemen, you may unfasten your seatbelts, the journey has been a success, you can now disembark
*** *** ***
I arrived at the hotel that the company had chosen for me, quite large and luxurious, it must be new because I hadn't heard of it before.
I called my father
-hello dad
-...
-si, I've already arrived, I want to see you
-...
-do you guys still live there?
-...
-is mom here?
-...
-she's fine, I'll come out right away
I was going to see my father, never knew what he thought when he found out that my trip had been because I liked a woman, never talked about it on the phone
Now I would see him, he must be with gray hair, more veteran...I'm dying to see Pepe, and also want to see my mom...whatever it is...it's my mother, I won't be the same with her but nor can I hold a grudge.
I didn't want to rest, my desire to see my family was winning, I took a taxi and headed to the neighborhood where I lived a past life.
So many memories, my friends, teachers, neighbors, she...
Got off the taxi and looked at my house, it had changed a lot, if I hadn't remembered that this was the same place, I wouldn't have known if it was really there, quite nice, quite... adorned.
I submerged myself so much in my thoughts that I didn't care about the gifts I brought and left forgotten in the taxi, the conductor caught up with me and gave them to me... now, encartada with everything I had, collided with a blonde
- Sorry, sorry, what a shame - I said, releasing the gift bags to help her lift
- Don't worry, nothing's wrong - she commented, still not seeing my face
She shook her hair, and when she finally stood in front of me, we saw each other.
God... that was... that was...
-Lina
-Melanie
We said it almost in unison
That woman had changed a lot, if before she was beautiful now she was a very beautiful woman, much taller, with a spectacular body, but with the same self-importance as before
- What are you doing here?
- ... I didn't know what to say when I heard Manuela's voice pronounce the name of the woman I had collided with, my body electrified, I started sweating, I couldn't look at her but knew - 100% sure - that that voice was Manuela's
-Melanie?
- What
- Are you staying?
-No
I left her talking to herself, she was also well affected by the reunion, not causing me anything to see her, it caused me anger to hear Manuela call... why?... before I could understand everything that produced her voice alone.
-MELANIE!!!!!!!!!!
Pepe exclaimed with enthusiasm and joy, God... now he was a complete man, quite attractive, strong, big, muscular, but with the same childlike face
-Pepe! Come here - I ran to where he was and we collided in a strong hug, crying with happiness, and feeling this so nice I couldn't help but feel anger towards my mother, why did I leave this? My family? Why?
-How are you, sister? - she said without letting me go - How long has it been since I've seen you, Melanie... I miss you
-I miss you more, Pepe...
I opened my eyes and saw a man holding onto a cane to stay upright, his eyes welling up with tears, I turned to look a little to his left and saw a woman quite conservatively dressed for to be in my 45 years, and further back I saw a young girl quite pretty. -I knew that man was my father, and the woman my mother, but the young woman didn't know who the hell she was -papa – murmured with a knot in my throat – father – I ran to him, already his arms were open for me, I kissed all over his face and wouldn't stop hugging him, God... what happiness, so much time, such injustice... why did my life become punished because I fell in love with a woman? Now, after being with my father more than 8 minutes, I looked at my mother, she was worse off than my brother and my father together, her tears were many, her expression was one of sadness and joy, emotion and desolation. -hello mom – -daughter – this time it was she who came towards me, I hugged her and closed my eyes, I still wondered who she had become. -how are you? – -fine – I wanted to be a little more expressive with her but couldn't. After seeing her and greeting her, Pepe hugged me and directed me where the young woman was. She was a girl of about 17 years old, I saw her and saw myself reflected, normal height, clear and smooth hair, beautiful face, perfect body, defined figure, and a perfect smile – she is my ex-girlfriend – I extended my hand and with a genuine expression of joy greeted her, to then hug her – hello, nice to meet you – -the pleasure is mine Melanie, Pepe had talked a lot about you. – After giving them gifts, telling each other how our lives were here, we started eating and drinking wine, the few times I saw my mother, she wouldn't take her eyes off mine, she was crying... it seemed remorseful; but then I remembered Manuela's voice, that voice which is so particles, a mix of tenderness with woman. Why was Lina calling me? Were they something? – Melanie, what are you thinking? – I took my little brother out of my thoughts – ah? – No, I don't know, it's been a long time... – Let's talk, okay? – And then? – Let it wait – Pepe... don't be So... -but it's about what happened -and you're embarrassed that she knows about it?
She knows it.
Swallow saliva strongly.
-Then tell her to come with us.
-Doesn't bother you?
-No
-Then go out and we'll catch up to you...
I said goodbye to my parents, my mother held me back and told me she wanted to talk to me; but I told her later.
I left the house and right in front of me was Lina, we saw each other... then I saw leaving... was it her? Was that Manuela? Could it be that she could be even more beautiful?
Yes, I saw her giving me her back, but it was her... I couldn't confuse her, although she looked very different... darker hair, completely black, a little taller, just as thin... God... she was beautiful, I started sweating again and wanted her to see me when unfortunately I saw Lina getting up and going over to her, and kissing her.
Manuela:
The whole afternoon had been spent at Lina's house; we were supposed to stay there if we didn't do anything special or go to my new apartment, since she lived alone just like me.
That day was strange for me from the moment I woke up, I felt an unusual sensation in my body but I didn't know what it was.
We had lunch and I fell asleep, I don't know how much time passed before I got up and found myself alone in the house... the phone wouldn't stop ringing, it could be an important call; so I went to the door and didn't see Lina, it seemed strange because it was open...
I looked for her all over the block when I saw her talking to someone I couldn't recognize... some men were blocking the person she was with.
I called her and turned around... three minutes later I arrived pale and nervous and wouldn't let her leave again; instead, she locked me in the house with her.
I talked on the phone and asked her to go out for a walk and she said later...
Do you remember my friends, Nicolás, Lucia, Estefanía, Pablo, Carlos? Well... they kept going with their band and now they're all known, although everyone works independently because of things Different; that day Lina called me, all of them arrived but the only one who didn't was Lucia.
-Love, do you bring the meats from the kitchen, please? -Lina said, but my friends hadn't even arrived yet; I nodded and paid attention.
When I got up, I stood still while she sat in front of me and suddenly saw her so close to me until I felt her lips on mine.
-Ey, ey, what's wrong with you? -I said, separating her from me, we could be seen... I didn't care about the people but if there were kids, so I stopped her
-Can't I give you a kiss?
-Sure, but look Lina... there are kids playing in the street
-Okay -she said with a smile that couldn't hide
-What's wrong?
-Nothing my love, I love you and you're only mine...
This woman was quite unusual... but I didn't pay attention (a grave mistake on my part)
When we were talking, I saw Carlos' car and got excited, it had been at least a month since I'd seen them, my work now gave me very little time and without thinking Lina was taking away the little time I had left.
They arrived and I hugged them, I was happy to see them... we sat down, while Pablo - trying to hide it - said he would help Lina with the barbecue - but - everyone knew he really wanted to... flirt (Coquetearle, if you understand)
We bought beers and started talking, chatting... having fun, it was fine, I felt happy, I knew I shouldn't drink too much or stay out late but, I was WITH MY FRIENDS!!! The rest didn't matter.
-Nico and Lucia where did they go?
-Manu... we were all in the car, and then someone called her on the phone, she started talking in code - she laughed - and Carlos had to stop the car so she could get out when she was a little ways away and when he saw us all with an expression of not understanding anything said: I'll be there in 10 minutes
-But it's already been half an hour -I said, getting worried, Lucia wasn't like that, and even less would do something like this
-She is, but it was a man's voice, the most likely thing is that she's seeing... someone – I look at everyone and laughed again – someone else
-but if she's with Julian
-so that's why I say – he made quotation marks with his fingers – someone else!
Melanie:
I didn't think seeing Manuela with Lina again would cause me to feel any kind of emotion...
I didn't think I still felt something for her, I saw Manuela looking around at everyone and then they weren't kissing anymore, just Lina embracing her while looking at me.
I froze, unable to look away.
-mel?
-ah... -looked at Pepe in front of me shaking me – what's wrong with you?
-nothing, nothing – muttered barely reacting
He turned around and saw what I was seeing, took my hand, and pulled me away from the other one.
We walked, I didn't know where he was taking me, all I could see was the change that had taken place in my neighborhood over this time. We entered an ice cream shop and I saw Lucia sitting there.
I looked at her with tenderness, cried when I saw she had the same expression as me... She got up and hugged me
-mel...mel...mel... -pronounced looking at me from top to bottom without stopping crying from emotion – so long...
-Lucia – gave her a kiss on the cheek – how are you?
-happy to see you
-I too – made her turn around – but look, you're all beautiful
-you too are
-we sat down, started talking the four of us, I had no idea they were such good friends.
-so that when I was still around here, you two already knew each other?
-exact – said both almost in unison
-what happens is that we didn't know – explained Pepe – that she was your friend and she didn't know you were my sister
-clear – smiled – if you were a silent one who only spoke when you had to speak and then, now, how would I tell you I had a friend?
-we laughed at the twists of fate, none of them talked about Manuela, nor did I opt to ask them about her... except for one thing
-Pepe... do you talk to... m... Manuela?
He looked at me with a sweet gaze, and just by mentioning her name, everything changed from attitude – if nanny (that's how she used to call me affectionately) she...she was looking for me a lot when she realized you had left
A inexplicable smile emerged from me, it had been a long time and it wasn't important maybe for them but it was for me.
-What's up? – questioned, unable to believe it
-If so – moved forward Lucia – don't know how Manuela reacted when I went to look for her and told her your mother had taken you to live with your grandparents
-What did she do, what did she say?
-What did she do? Well, I looked for Pepe, talked to him and begged him to try to find the address where you were, she was going to go looking for you Melanie – sighed, looking elsewhere – What did she say? She treated me like an idiot, a fool...she regretted it, saying something very quickly, something like: I shouldn't have done what I did, I should have let her explain...-her gaze returned to mine – Melanie that girl cried for days because of you, just to tell you that she took almost 6 months to recover from the shock and get into a university.
-Plus – Pepe got involved and took my hands away – she did something none of you three here know
I looked at her, furrowing my brow, wondering what she was talking about? What else could Manuela have done...?
-What did she do?
-Manuela spoke with my mom Melanie...she went to the house and my mom threw her out...insisted twice more but never got anything.
-Do you speak seriously, Pepe?
-Yes.
I remained silent and they kept talking, all this had been because of my damn fear and stupidity and clearly...because of the main protagonist my mom
We finished eating ice cream, Pepe paid the bill and we left there heading for my house, now I should talk clearly with my family
Lucia went off with Aleja, I imagined they were at Lina's, I felt a bit uncomfortable but still told them we'd see each other later.
Now, I was at home with my parents and brothers, my dad sat us down in the living room and said – be the first to speak.
-Melanie, Mariana, your mom sent you to live with your grandparents, why? What happened Did you? How so, I mean my father didn't know anything?...shit!! another lie from my mom, she told me yes.. that's why I also blamed my dad, and again I fell into her trap. -Didn't you say anything to mom? – I asked for an explanation seriously – My dad doesn't know anything? She lowered her face and nodded positively with her head. I laughed – it's the height of impudence -Melanie calm down -What should I calm down, dad? What should I calm down? Do you know what it was like to leave without even saying goodbye, living almost two years without knowing if you were already well or not? At 7 months I only came to hear from you and with Pepe never let me talk...shit, do you want me to calm down when no one lets me stay for the last time with my friends from school...I didn't go to that excursion that we had planned all year, it would be the best, I'm getting away from everything...getting away from her...dad. As you wish... -Who is she? – she interrupted me slowly trying to clarify what I had said – Who are you talking about, Melanie? -I won't talk about this – I said standing up ready to grab my purse and leave the house -No, Melanie – whispered that woman who although it pained me to accept was my mother – Let's talk. -Look, Manuel – she referred to my dad with tears invading her face – My daughter has always mattered more to me than what others say, even more so when it comes to maintaining a good social status regarding the economic situation, we are an important family, respectable but that no longer matters, because I ruined my daughter's life. I had never heard my mom refer to herself like this before, but still I only wanted to hear her out. -I – she continued – saw her differently, saw her more smiling than usual, saw her thoughtful...Melanie was in love – I looked at her trying to say many things that I no longer wanted to hear – Then I saw her a lot with Manuela -Who is Manuela? – my dad suddenly asked me -Manuela...Lina's current partner, the girl who lives here across from the house. Current partner of Lina? Pfff…my parents knew it already… My dad got up and started yelling at my mom, accusing her with his cane – don't tell me Mariana, you sent Melanie to where your parents are because Melanie was having other sexual inclinations, that's what happens woman!? Is that so?? My mom looked at me – just like my brother and I – really surprised – if Manuel, I know I acted very badly, I know I don't have an excuse, I know... -do you know? You made him leave my daughter for five long years and I thought he had gotten into drugs and what you wanted was to distance her from those friendships… -Manuel calm down... -calm down? For God's sake woman, I don't recognize you – I looked at my hurt son – forgive me child, forgive me – he knelt in front of me and took hold of my hands with his, forgive me... At that moment I abandoned myself to sadness, I had judged my father wrong... if he had known maybe... perhaps... this wouldn't have happened. -no papa...shhh... -forgive me – murmured my mom, also in tears – ruin my family. My mother's attitude at that moment seemed repentant... What could I say there... I was hurt with my mom, but I couldn't hate her, she had made a mistake trying to do what was best for me and the family. I talked to all three of them and asked us to start from the beginning, my father didn't want to look at my mom's face, but time would take care of healing all those wounds. Manuela: -until you finally get here!! – was the only thing I could say to Lucia when she was right in front of me – where were you, Lucia? -talking with a friend – commented a bit strange... -is something wrong? -no manu... The whole afternoon and most of the night, or well maybe until 9:30 at night we stayed at Lina's house eating and drinking, when I looked at the clock and saw it was getting late I started saying goodbye. -manu come with us in the car – Lucia said to me... -we don't all fit there... -yes... -what for? -let's go, listen to me. I nodded and We all got on the car when we were already leaving the stable, Lucia spoke up.
-Carlos, do you know where to stop?
-If so, boss - this one replied with a smile.
-How so?
-Manu... it's that... -Nicolás tried to explain - we have something to tell you
-I knew you guys were plotting something because when I got in with Lina and came back out, everyone was different, just like Lucia arrived.
-Is Manuela, what's going on is that...
-Manu... it's that...
-No one could tell me anything, they were already getting to the point of scaring me, Alejandra, Pepe's girlfriend, was also in the car, she looked at me and hugged me
-Manuela... Melanie is here
-God... or are these my worst nightmares or the most beautiful reality
-Melanie?
-Manu... I'm arriving now...
-D...O...N...d...E......e...S...t...a?
-In the house.
-Which house?
-Ay Manuela, silly, if not - Lucia yelled at me - then in front of where Lina is
-And why didn't they tell me?
-Because you were with your girlfriend
-I hadn't thought about that, God... Melanie, I thought I'd never see her again.
-Do you want to go see her?
-Yes. -I replied, sure
-My feet were trembling then, my hands were sweating, my lips were shaking and my eyes just wanted to see her...we got out two blocks back and went almost secretly so Lina wouldn't see us or notice.
-Lucia stepped forward and knocked on the door.
-Mariana opened it... Melanie's mom, looked at us and greeted us... that woman had apologized to me, what was important was - in that moment - that she accepted her mistake.
-Come in - she said softly, smiling so Melanie wouldn't notice
-I was so nervous that Nicolás had to drag me along, I couldn't believe this... it wasn't possible...
-We entered and saw Don Manuel sitting on a large armchair, and Melanie was hugging him from behind, giving us her back, Pepe was greeting his girlfriend in front of us.
-I couldn't believe I was seeing her, from behind, but I knew it was her... I knew she was Ahí, after 5 years... I said her name so slowly and softly that only Mariana could hear it. Lucia started counting with her hands, supposed to be when she said '3' we would all yell 'surprise'. And that's what happened... She turned around startled and saw them, I mean she saw them because I hid behind the door... She started hugging everyone and didn't want to cry... I was even stopping myself from crying when I unknowingly got closer to her... 6 steps... 5... 4... 3 steps... 2... I had her just one step away and gave her a little tap on her back... God, what sensations I had just having her so close... I swear I thought I wasn't going to make it and would pass out... But she turned around and I saw her... Don't let her say a single word, I dedicated myself to hugging her between my arms, hugging her and kissing her hair... Cry, cry as much as I could... Cry without being able to control myself... Cry without knowing why... God... I still loved her, I could prove it just by hearing her name. She wasn't saying any words, anyway, I didn't want to hear anything, I just wanted to squeeze her tight and show her how much I missed her all this time.
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