I lost my virginity with an older man.

Currently I'm 18 years old but since I was in high school I've always been attracted to older men. Like teachers, my mom's friends or acquaintances. But I never got involved with anyone because I was very shy about it and besides I felt insecure about my body. It wasn't until I was almost 18 that I decided to download a dating app, honestly I didn't think I'd meet anyone and nobody caught my attention until I met him. He's almost 50 and a photographer. I was the first one to match with him and then he did. At first we were talking about anything and then he asked me what I was doing here and I told him why he was asking that, to which he replied that I was very beautiful for being on that app, honestly I couldn't believe he thought I was beautiful and I told him not to lie because I'm not that beautiful, to which he said it's because I said so. And the truth is I've always felt bad about my body, I'm very thin, have small breasts and am quite short, and besides I didn't think a man of his age would like someone like me, I've always heard what they prefer and I don't fit that type. The thing is that I told him all this and he said not all men like that so for example he liked me the way I was. It made me feel so good to hear it that I accepted a date with him. Everything was going well, we'd go out on weekends because during the week I was at school, I'd buy clothes, we'd have fun, kiss each other etc. I had told him I was a virgin and never had done anything with someone. So one day when we were intensely kissing in his car he grabbed my hand and put it on his penis and said to caress it while he kissed my neck and said if I had never touched a man like that before, I told him no it was my first time and he said he was very hard and asked if I wanted to see it but I didn't respond. It was then when he unbuckled his pants and pulled them down and asked me to touch him, the truth I was in shock never having been like that with a man before. Then he took my hand and told me to grab his penis and masturbate it, something I learned that day how to masturbate a man. But that's not all, he held my head with force and asked me to open my mouth so he could give me oral sex, which I agreed to but didn't know what to do and told him so. It was then that the very excited one told me don't worry, little girl, just be careful with your teeth and open your mouth and it was then that I grabbed my head and started moving quickly and roughly, in that instant I couldn't believe I was doing this with someone older and especially surprised that his cock was big, I don't know how long I stayed like that but it felt eternal until he came in my mouth and after he came out and spat his semen on the window. We were like that for several days. We would go out, he'd buy me clothes and then we'd leave in his car to a place where there weren't many people and he'd give me oral sex or so I think. Because I never learned how to do it and what I did was have my mouth on his penis while he moved but the truth is I never bothered to learn because I loved having power over him and just letting myself go. It wasn't until then that we were in his car kissing and I told him I was ready to lose my virginity. And he said he loved the idea and thought it would be great if we did it on the other weekend, so instead of going out somewhere we'd go to a hotel and I said yes, that day I agreed to wear a black blouse and a skirt because he liked seeing me in skirts. The thing is that he passed by my near a plaza and took me to a motel and it was then where I lost my virginity. We did it often, he liked taking pictures of me, I remember one day he told me he'd like to see me in a swimsuit and I told him yes but didn't have one. So one weekend he surprised me with a gift and It was a pink bathing suit he told me he wanted to see me in it then we went to the motel and he modeled it for me then he took out his camera and took pictures of me at that point I already trusted him so I let him take pictures. I still have some left. Unfortunately, he was married and I found out days later and we stopped seeing each other.