Dark NightChapter 1:http://www.poringa.net/posts/relatos/5026790/Terapia-Especial-Capitulo-I.htmlPrevious Chapter:http://www.poringa.net/posts/relatos/5129205/Terapia-Especial-Capitulo-XIX.htmlThe sky had darkened completely, the twinkles of the stars didn't peek out and the moon had been seized by black clouds. A flood was approaching, but I didn't care. I sat slumped in the middle of the city, with dogs barking at the violent wind that battered me. The whistling echoed in my ears, however, the pain inside me was consuming me and nothing could make me feel worse.
Discovering that my wife seemed to have cancer destroyed me completely. I felt like my heart wasn't beating and instead a crushing sting was present. That turmoil of entrails when believing I was being unfaithful transformed into a knot that reminded me every instant of how stupid I was. The tears I had been holding back since reading my wife's medical report finally appeared in my eyes, descending slowly down my cheeks.
I had never felt so incapable of facing something in my life. I couldn't lift my head and go back home to hug my wife and offer her support, tell her that everything would be okay, that I would be by her side on this difficult path and we would emerge victorious. No, instead I took refuge in the powerlessness of knowing I could lose her and wasn't able to prevent that divine punishment. It was the best time to blame God for this misfortune, yet I had never been a strong believer.
Instead of thinking there was a being watching us from heaven, putting us through tests to see who were his true servants. I preferred to believe we were just small molecules created by accident in a collision of gases. Gripping my right hand, I gave the bench a strong punch, feeling like my knuckles pierced the wood and splinters lodged themselves. Finally, the clouds burst and the rain accompanied my tears, in that melancholic scene where I was.
Thanks to the noise of the storm that had unatamed could scream everything I wanted and no one would hear me. Imagining my life without April was the worst nightmare I could be experiencing. Being the best therapist in the city or country didn't mean I could help myself in a moment of crisis. After all, I'm a human being just like everyone else. I breathe, eat, sleep, drink water to survive. I was on the ropes and practically falling into the madness. I begged for me to have cancer instead of my wife, she didn't deserve that. She was the kindest, most pleasant, loyal, and gentle woman I had ever known, with a perhaps her only flaw being capricious about her fetish. Without her, my life would be completely different, no doubt. With my hair entirely wet and dripping, I brought my hands to my head and let out another cry seeking comfort. Because, as I said, without April it was likely that I would have ended up being a cold and arrogant man. There wouldn't have been family or maybe there would, a woman I would psychologically abuse and a son I would ignore. I would be the typical absent father who demands achievements from his kid only to miss their birthday parties. Instead, I lost that coldness that characterized me and started relating to people. To understand them and be affable. All of this was possible because one day I met my Princess in a classroom, with red hair, blue eyes, a prominent nose, fine lips, an oval face, long eyelashes. Thin, with deadly curves, a pair of large breasts, a narrow waist, wide hips, a pompous butt and long legs. If I had a manic pixie dream girl, April would definitely be it. She met all the expectations of an infatuated teenager to find that dream love. Now I understand better why my friends, from the moment they saw April, told me I was lucky and envied me. Of course, they must have dreamed of meeting a girl like her at some point. Some defects, like any human being, but naming it now would be cruel, besides thinking of her as a bad person is impossible for me in these minutes. I should be by her side, taking care of her, giving her peace and not worrying her, since I don't know where I got myself into. Because I'm sure Mariano already told her that I went to see him and that I know everything about her illness.
I acted like a teenager instead of an adult, I know, but in that instant when my eyes read the word cancer, everything came crashing down on me. The air became scarce, as if I was inside a box, and a suffocating anxiety took hold of me. I didn't want to wake her up, I didn't want to pressure her into explaining everything, so I left to go find her doctor in my car, but when I searched for my keys, I realized I had left them inside this place.
Desperate, I was about to break the glass, but just as our neighbor's son arrived on his motorcycle. I ran towards him and asked to borrow his motorcycle in exchange for giving him some money. The boy agreed, although I noticed concern on his face, maybe he imagined that I didn't know how to ride or drive it. However, there was a brief period when April and I would go for rides on our motorcycle, sometimes I drove, other times she did, but all of that was forgotten once Vanessa turned two.
A motorcycle wasn't a vehicle for taking a child, so we sold it. Without any worry, I started driving at a very high speed, I wanted to reach my wife's doctor, I wanted him to tell me that everything was a joke and that she wouldn't die. I'm not exactly sure how, but I passed car after car until I collided with the doctor's car. The license plate was engraved in my memory because when I thought he was April's lover, I used to observe it and repeat it to myself.
He parked on a corner and got out, I did the same and taking off The helmet, I yelled at himHey, Mariano!He turned around with a confused face, while I was running towards where he was.Do I know you?asked bewildered, I am Tomas Bastidas, the husband of April Harper, your patientI replied, standing face to face with him. Mariano's face changed to one of absolute surprise, he didn't know what to say to me, never thought he'd see my face.
Me: Tell me it's a lie, tell me it's not true...
I said with desperation, grabbing his shirt.
Mariano: To-Tomás... Calm down.
Me: Calm down? How the hell am I supposed to calm down when I've discovered my wife has cancer?
I manifested with crystallized eyes.
Me: How serious is it? And please, don't sugarcoat the situation because all I want to know is if my wife can die or not.
Mariano: Good... It's complicated, she's at a stage where it would be ideal to remove the tumors, however, she refuses to interrupt her pregnancy. I'd like to tell you that there wouldn't be any problems after delivery, but due to her age and the tumors being malignant, the situation isn't that simple.
Those words destroyed me, I let go, bent my head and turned around halfway. I wanted to break something, get rid of this anger and frustration for not being able to do anything for April. Mariano's voice kept getting farther away from me and all I could hear was a hum.Princess... My Princess... No, no, no. It's not true. It's a damn dream, a cursed one.I repeated myself, taking the motorcycle, to get as far away from everyone and have no one see me like this, so fragile and broken, that's how I arrived at this isolated place. Princess, was the first word I said when I saw her and my soul left my body. My eyes only focused on her beautiful face. Her anatomy was unknown to me until after class, when I could see her potential up close. Going out with her was a lottery and her noticing me was a blessing. The air was scarce with so much pain tearing me apart, while the thousands of adventures she had lived through came back to me in memory. Piece by piece like a puzzle, building the silhouette of the woman who stole my heart. I don't know exactly how long I'd been under the rain, but my body started to numb. My eyes were swollen from crying and my head hurt like waking up after a big party with a nasty hangover. Between delirium, I heard footsteps, some that approached me and became more perceptible when they stepped in the puddles. I kept thinking it was part of my imagination until I saw a black umbrella settle on top of me. When I turned around, I contemplated a face I never thought I'd see in such a situation.–“Isi...”-I said trembling with cold and in a tone so low that the wind muffled it. Same one that was stirring my ex-girlfriend's long hair and my younger brother's mother. Her eyes froze on mine, just like when we were young and I felt frustrated, she would appear to console me.What are you doing here, Tomas?She consulted worriedly, as if nothing had happened between us and we were still those kids who would look at each other from one room to another sometimes. The situation was so implausible that I kept believing it was a fantasy of my already disordered sanity.–‘Leaving my sadness out. So that my kids don't see it and especially not my Princess’I answered, letting out my breath that contrasted with the cold air of the storm, forming a mist.What are you doing here?I asked while trying to get up from the bench, nevertheless, as soon as I put my foot down, I slipped and fell to the floor. My legs were weak like everything about me.
Isidora ran to help me, and I could stand up with her support. In that state, I looked like a drunk person who kept their eyes open with great difficulty.You haven't answered me yetI whispered to him, resting my head on his shoulder.–“I've always liked going for a walk when the sky clouds over. Obviously, I didn't think it would rain torrentially, but I'm glad I did it, because I found myself with you. Maybe it was fate.”-He signaled. Only I laughed briefly at his declaration, it was all so absurd that if I had had more strength, I would have laughed out loud. Step by step, we were walking towards his house, the silence reigned, the aroma of his perfume was as sweet as April's, and it was getting impregnated in my sense of smell.Hey Isi. Why do you help me?I consulted him shivering with coldBecause we're friends. Well, we were. It's true that over time everything got diluted and we ended up distant, but I can't leave you in this state.Her words still seemed sincere to me, even making me slightly excited. The past we once tried to erase came back to unite us, or maybe it was something from the present.By the way, I'm giving piano lessons. And recently I met a guy who, unlike you, learned very quickly.He said accompanied by a burlesque chuckle.You know very well that I never had the intention of learning to play the piano. I only tried because it would help me disconnect from my daily routine for a bit.I responded with difficulty, forcing a smile.He doesn't intend to dedicate himself to music either. He only does it for fun, and maybe because he likes seeing me.I explain with notable pride between his words. I suppose she made her feel desired, happy that she hadn't wilted and that it was still time to start anew.And how's the guy?I asked him, causing a small silence, perhaps because he didn't expect me to ask about him or maybe he needed time to describe it to me.I think it's your same heightIt was the first thing he said, after those seconds where the wind's sigh prevailed.Thin, but has an incredible strength and his hair is blonde, fine like the hairs of a brush, although clearly softer and silkier, clear eyes and piercing like those of a wolfHe complemented it, then before those words, I couldn't help but think of someone who wasn't April, which generated another devastating pain for me. I lowered my gaze so she wouldn't see me crying, even though it was obvious that I was doing so, from the noise I made while sobbing. When I arrived at her house, I perceived a warm and friendly air, that gloomy place where my brother had grown up no longer existed, nor did one sense melancholy. Had a young lad like Isidora changed her that much?, I wondered as my body began to feel the warmth of the house.See if you want to go to the bathroom and take a shower.He said passing me some clothes. I listened, with the strength that still remained in me, I went to wash and take out that anxiety blanket I had. At any other time, I wouldn't have trusted Isidora or believed in her change. It would be a fool who never saw her as a good person unless my dear Princess told me otherwise. Remembering her again made me break into tears, while doing so, I listened to how Isidora was playing her piano and interpreting,Can’t Help Falling in LoveIn my memory there was a mix of images that showed my disgusting and hypocritical face. Who was I to judge Isi?, I wasn't so different from what she had done in the past. I lied shamelessly one and another time to my wife, wore a mask in front of my kids and took advantage of a girl's love to satisfy my sexual appetite. The tender kisses I gave April sometimes turned into the passionate ones I had with Rosita.
The caresses of that girl intermingled with those of my wife, which burned and ignited my lust. Her gazes crossed with mine, I didn't know who to look at, whether at those sapphires or those dark pearls. It's sad not being able to say openly that I wanted to be with Rosita, because my heart still belonged to April. That was the reality, because in those months of solitude, I found love in the arms of that cute brunette, there were days when I didn't even want to go back home, due to the routine and indifference with which I lived.
I preferred spending my afternoons with Rosita, because I felt different and full of life, while at home with April, I experienced a void that overwhelmed me. If only I had discovered her illness before, maybe everything would be different. Or maybe not, maybe I was destined to have a secret romance with that young black girl who made my body and I desire her, even in that moment when I felt so overwhelmed, I preferred going to her rather than running to April.
Finally, I was sincere with myself, which left me even more broken, since I was so miserable. I got out of the shower, dried my body and put on the pants and shirt that Isidora had passed me. The pants imagined they belonged to Bruno, as they were a bit long, while the shirt fit my body well, so it couldn't be his, besides the design seemed very familiar to me. Without wanting to bother with this, I left the bathroom, Isidora had tea prepared for me.
I took the cup and I kept drinking, at the same time as I was slipping back into my thoughts. Between lights and shadows, my mind took me to a land where I hadn't discovered the cancer that seemed like April. Still blinded by my lust and egoism, unable to empathize lightly with whoever had been in a relationship for over 20 years. So I continued spending my nights with Rosita, as just passing afternoons wasn't enough to fill my sick sexual appetite.
This would lead to April discovering us, however not in the department of the cute brunette, but in our marital bed. Everything would unravel after a weekend where Benjamin would leave with Josefina, Diana would do the same with her boyfriend for benefits. My wife, on the other hand, stayed home, she didn't look well, quite the opposite, fatigue was visible on her face. Despite that sign and others right in front of me, I was unable to suspect my wife was ill.
I, being a complete jerk and unhappy person, invited my mistress to stay with me that weekend so I could enjoy the adrenaline of doing it just meters away from April. When Rosita arrived, I was with Simón, but I didn't care about kissing her in front of my little son. My tongue devoured the hot and sweet mouth of the young girl, entwining with her tongue fiercely, while with one of my hands I held her to me so she could feel how hard I already was.
That day, she would show me her maternal side, convincing me that she would be a very good stepmother for Simón. The idea of separating from April increased every day as I had found everything I was looking for in this girl. However, there was something holding me back from taking that final step. Maybe it was fear of how my sons would react or unease about how April would take it, perhaps both options were what ended up paralyzing me.
My flirting with the cute brunette was brazen, however, with no one present house, I wasn't hesitant to hug it, touch it or kiss it. Even at night, we dared to go further, since while leaving the dinner to finish cooking, she was giving me a Cuban. Her enormous chocolate-shaped breasts rose and fell over my sword, with much tenderness, as her thick lips wrapped around my glans and her scorching tongue slid along it.–“Jojofder, Rosita... What a yummy masturbation, you're treating me”-I manifested, stifling my moans with great effort. I didn't want Simon to wake up from my screams and have to interrupt the wonderful work Rosita was doing. She was removing her plump lips from my cock and looked at me fixedly with her eyes accompanied by a capricious smile. I didn't know exactly what she was thinking, but I never suspected that it would leave me wanting to cum. Aparting her soft brown breasts from my groin, she lowered her blouse, which was rolled up, and stood up.What are you doing?I asked her, taking one of her dolls.Give you a small punishment, for not telling your wife that I love youShe replied, slipping out of my hand. Before I could say anything, she sat on my legs and brought her caramelized mouth to mine.But forget it, I'll give you a reward if you only hug me in front of herI affirm, moving away from me with a smile. It was a dangerous game, but apparently it had become almost indifferent to me by that point if April suspected something. My body yearned to conclude the little game we had started, so as soon as my wife appeared in the dining room for dinner, I positioned myself behind that voluptuous girl and wrapped my arms around her waist, pressing her against me, rubbing my cock against her booty, so she could feel how horny I was. A triumphant smile formed on her lips, and with pride, she looked towards where my wife was, as if wanting to say that now I belonged to her.
April seemed not to be affected by what she witnessed, instead her face didn't reflect even a second of surprise. My theory that she knew about my adventure with this girl grew stronger, because knowing my wife perfectly, something of jealousy must have been placed in her if she didn't suspect anything. Although clearly, still being aware that I was sleeping with Rosita, she should project some jealousy, but she didn't, and I remained unable to see what was happening.
We sat down at the table and began dinner, April having a brief conversation with Rosita, asking how things were going in her studies. The young girl, playful, replied that they were fine, while using one of her feet to touch my crotch. This generated a small discomfort in me, but it was nothing compared to her next move. Just as my gaze met April's and my wife gave me a smile, Rosita slipped under the table.
I felt a shiver run down my spine as I noticed the fervent tongue of the cute brunette passing over my torso. My pupils became enormous, leaving me perplexed, while my eyes continued to observe April. In those seconds, the girl unbuttoned my belt and pulled out my cock. I swallowed saliva and felt a cold sweat dripping down my foreheadWhat's going on?I consulted my wife, not knowing what was happening under the table, I without responding her, diverted my gaze towards where that black girl was, who had my cock in her hands.ShhShe said, placing her index finger between her lips and with a mischievous smile drawn on. I swallowed again and my pulse accelerated so much that I felt like my heart was going to burst out of my chest.–“Tom, are you okay?-My wife asked me again, with a tone of concern in her voice.S-s-s... Yes...I balbuced, looking at her, with a fake smile. Then Rosita swallowed my dagger, the deepest part of her throat, I had to bite my lips not to let out my cry and even so it escaped a sigh. I couldn't explain why I was so terrified that my wife would find us, if I already assumed she knew about me and that girl. And if I didn't do so, I had an excuse with which to defend myself, so I shouldn't be afraid. However, I couldn't stay calm while she was near, which also contradicted the bold attitude I had before. I was going crazy, between the terror of being caught and the pleasure Rosita gave me. The seconds were making themselves slower and more suffocating, it seemed like I was inside a urn, because I was no longer able to breathe. A discussion arose in my head, a loud voice saying don't be afraid of anything, that April was the guilty one after all, since she had forced me first to fulfill her fantasies. On the other hand, a more serene but cold voice said leave being a coward because I only got myself into this and if I was so terrified then let's just finish with this adventure once. Those voices began making themselves stronger in my head, resonating in my ears like two incessant trumpets, at any moment I would faint and everything would be over for me.Enough!I was about to scream and slap the table with my hands when I felt the warmth of my wife. She had touched my right hand and just by doing that, she made me calm.–“Tom, I have to leave for a moment”-she told me with her pupils almost covered by a veil of tears. If I had been a good husband, I would have asked where she was going at those hours, if she wanted me to accompany her, or consulted her directly, what was happening to her, because it wasn't the first time she went out at those hours. However, I remained silent as always and only attended with my head, letting her go. Without my wife's presence, the lust that was inside me, struggling with fear, unleashed itself from the chains that held it back. It returned to being the sex-addicted man I had become.
Looking through the short and fine curtain, my eyes appreciated the fiery and lascivious face of Rosita, who was eating me out with great enthusiasm. Smiling, I caressed her beautiful caramel-colored face with my fingers. She released my lock and licked her mouth. Coming out of her hiding place, she sat on my legs and murmured some words I didn't hear because I was focused on those burning lips. We kissed intensely, while our fiery bodies stimulated each other.
Her chamomile-scented saliva intoxicated me more in that ardent desire. Taking her from her thighs, I reclined her on the table and removed her clothes. Kissing her ebony skin, I lost myself in her bodily fragrance and perfume aroma.Come on... To our roomHe said with a mischievous smile, just when I was profiling my cock to bury it in him.Come onI replied, loading up and following her libidinous game, without even thinking about the consequences. We were completely absorbed in our lust, my hands firmly holding Rosita's waist, while she rode with a mastery that made me hallucinate. Our mouths merged, stifling any scream, but the collision of our bodies created a wild and obscene buzzing.–“Pregnant me, my love... Pregnant me!”-She would repeat it over and over again, as her nails dug into my back, scratching my skin. I felt like I was on Mount Olympus, being with her in that way on my bed. I wondered if she had ever done it this way with April, thinking of my wife again made me slow down my thrusts. However, Rosita continued to sway her hips at an impressive rhythm, moaning at the same time.–“Ohhh, God... I'm coming, Tomas, I'm comin'!!”-I exclaimed the cute brunette, convulsing while my cock continued to be lodged in her pussy.
It was then that what was already inevitable occurred. The bedroom door slowly opened. Not knowing the identity of the person about to enter, something told me it was April. My entire body went numb, as if I were in a tub filled with ice. It was futile trying to do anything at that moment, so my wife wouldn't catch us, but I still tried. I wanted that girl to jump on top of me, but it was impossible to free myself from those hands that had me surrounded and that pussy that absorbed my cock.
My heart accelerated, but not due to a pleasant adrenaline rush, rather due to a suffocating desperation. Finally, the door opened and my wife's crystallized eyes contemplated my sin. She didn't utter a word or make any noise, however, tears were falling from her cheeks that broke my soul. It wasn't long before she turned around and disappeared from there. I understood in that minute that the reason I couldn't separate myself from her was because I still loved her like no other.
Our relationship may have seemed dead, but my heart continued to beat for her alone, only for her, Rosita's love was limited to the physical. No matter how much affection I had for that girl, the love I felt for April would never be equalled.–“Are you okay, Tomás? Tomás, are you alright?”-I suddenly heard, emerging from that fantasy. In front of me was Isidora, worried about my state, even though she knew it was her, I couldn't stop projecting the image of my wife onto her.–“I... I... Princess... I love youI said, trying to kiss her, but nothing remained in black. I was sinking into the deepest part of the sea, everything was dark and the water was very dense. The last drop of air went out and I swallowed that cold water filling my lungs. I tried to find something to hold onto, to get out of that cold, dark, and immense ocean, but there was nothing to support me. I only sank deeper and deeper into that current that seemed to drag me in with its hands. Those must be the hands of my sins, I thought, after all, I didn't stop reproaching myself for betraying my wife, which weighed on me and hurt. It was devastating to have fallen into something as infamous as lust and to have played with the feelings of two women. I deserved that, falling so deep and feeling my body being awakened by the water pressure. I was willing to suffer it, in exchange for April living, to see Simon and those two children growing up in her belly. She had strength to do it, I didn't, of course not. Without her light in my life, I would be nothing and would fade away like a candle in a storm.
The mere thought of losing my Princess terrified me, so I empathized well with Alexander when he first came to my consultation. All my knowledge about human psychology didn't influence me at that desolate moment. There were reasons for me to hold onto life, but I didn't want it if April wasn't by my side. I believed I needed punishment for betraying her, but not losing her, and in that I saw a light and a figure approaching me.
That light became more intense until I couldn't distinguish who it was, but I swam towards the surface, freeing myself from those hands that were dragging me into hell, but when I was almost out of that dark ocean, I heard April's voice from those hands telling me not to go. I turned around for a few seconds, appreciating her precious face amidst all that black water and with '... Her hand was trying to grab me. I woke up totally sweaty, agitated and with my pajamas stuck to my body.Ah, at least you're waking up sleepyhead.Listen, as my eyes got used to the light in the room. Diverting my gaze towards where that voice had come from, I realized it was my mother, who seemed to have rejuvenated. She was opening the curtains, making the sun's rays illuminate that room more.Mom?I said bewildered, What's going on with my kid?She asks me, approaching me,–“Where is April?”-Answer, wiping my eyes.– 'Is April? Who is April?'-He was questioned while sitting on the bed, I still innocent, let out a laugh thinking it was my mother's joke.Oh come on mom, tell me where my wife is, I want to talk to herI manifested waiting to know where my Princess was, so I could go talk to her and face the cruel reality of her cancer.-Is that wife? What are you talking about son? How can you have a wife if you just turned 18 and don't talk to girls except for Isidora?-She let out a serious face.–“Say... Say... Eighteen?-I babbled, realizing that not only was my mother younger, but I found myself in my old room, in the old house of my parents. What the hell was going on? I didn't understand absolutely nothing, looking around at everything. Everything looked just like it used to be, I had my first mobile phone that my parents gave me, my desk was full of books and everything was meticulously organized. Getting up from bed, I ran towards the bathroom, where Ricardo came out, much to my surprise, also younger. My brother looked at me strangely while letting out a laugh at my stunned face. One that would continue to deform with surprise, seeing myself in the mirror. I was an 18-year-old kid, touching all over my body, I couldn't believe it was all real, did it have to be a joke?, I thought as I pinched my cheeks and screamed in pain.Tomás, darling, what are you doing?I expressed my worried mom, grabbing hold of my hands to prevent her from hurting me again. I looked back at myself in the mirror, starting to accept that I had strangely returned in time.Mama, I have to go to LondonI said, automatically.-“To London? Where do you want me to take out money for us to go to London, Tomas? Your father works hard, not to indulge your whims”-Mom seemed already mad with so many shows she was doing.Mom you don't understand. I need to go see my Princess.He implored me, while Ricardo was laughing at my words.What princess are you talking about, son? Are you drunk?I interpellated him again with his worried face, for every delirium he let out.I'm talking about April, mom. About your daughter-in-law, the mother of your grandchildren and my wife. I know you're going to think I'm crazy, but I swear what I'm telling you is trueI affirm, looking at myself again in the mirror.–“It sounds like more than a joke, little brother. Wait, let me guess. Your 'princess' is blonde, with blue eyes, has incredible curves, good tits and a perfect ass, right?-I comment my brother, mocking me.Yes... That's itI replied, seeing how my brother's laughter was getting louder and more annoying, to the point of irritating me. I wanted mom to let me go so I could go give that idiot Ricardo a good punch.Oh God, I knew it was only a matter of time before you lost your mind, reading so many booksI declare, leaving while mom was still looking at me incredulously. Her hands seemed to be losing strength, so I managed to wriggle free from her and ran after the idiot of my brother, who showed me a porn actress on his phone. A woman who was exactly like April, for more awareness, her nationality was British and ironically, she was named Vanessa, just like our daughter.This is the famous princess of Tomás, momI point out the idiot with his mocking smile and show Mom the photo of that girl. My mother looked at me convinced I had lost a screw. Shaking her head from side to side, she sighs,I knew those two little friends of yours are bad influence. I don't want you to hang out with them again, understood?He said with an authoritative voice. Angry, frustrated and even humiliated, I walked to my room, closing the door with force and locking myself in it. I stayed there all morning and afternoon, I didn't feel like eating, or urinating or taking a drink. No, I was thinking about April and our sons, Vanessa, Benjamin, Axel and Simon. It cost me to accept that I had lost them, as if everything were a spell taken from some comic book, like the one Spiderman cast on Mephisto. Lying in my bed, I kept thinking when suddenly I heard knocks at my window, it was Isidora.
Seeing her when she was still innocent returned me a little hope, it was as if she were telling me that everything wasn't over, but I could rewrite the story I already knew, but avoid the mistakes I made. Starting with her, treating her feelings properly, leaving her clear that I didn't love her, but in a very subtle way and wanting to be only her friend. After all, Bruno deserved to have a loving mother and not the possessive one she had become because of my fault.
Even if that meant Bruno would no longer be my brother, I would be happy for him to grow up in a healthy family environment without lies. Opening the window, I let her pass, she stumbled and had to lean on me so she wouldn't fall, her lips brushed against mine. Isidora blushed and asked for forgiveness at the same time as I smiled seeing her so innocent and tender. She held a chocolate and a juice box in her hands, which she gave me as if she knew I hadn't eaten or drunk anything.
Accepting it, I unwrapped the chocolate and bit into it with certain desperation. She laughed and without saying anything rested her head on my shoulder. Now that I was aware of her feelings, she called me an idiot for not realizing them when she did. like what was happening to April.–“Isi... I'll be leaving here in a few days. You won't see me again for months and when you do, I'll be dating a girl.”-I confessed, stroking her smooth black hair. She lifted her head and looked at me with strangeness, knowing I should go slow and initially that wasn't my plan so she wouldn't turn into the dangerous woman she became, nevertheless something urged me to speak to her sincerely, perhaps because I was seeking refuge in someone.I know it's going to hurt you, however, I can't force my feelings to love you. If there were a way, I would do it, because you're an extraordinary girl and also very beautifulI told him, caressing his cheek, while those eyes were piercing through me.What are you talking about, Tomas?I consult without understanding what I was referring to, so I started telling her everything I had said to my mother and some things more from my life. Unlike Mom and my brother, Isidora believed me, I don't know why, maybe because of her unconditional love for me.
We spent the night talking, looking at the ceiling, and agreeing to help each other out. Although before she left her house, she asked me to give her a kiss, she just wanted one from me. I agreed, but before giving it to her, I told her I would do it once I was with April, I wanted my first kiss to be with her. Isidora hesitated but eventually accepted, which filled me with joy.
That's how I started rebuilding my life, all the events would develop exactly the same way, although I didn't act the same way.
The months continued passing, despite having to be there at that moment, obsessed with Celeste's body, the only thing going through my head was April, I wanted the encounter to happen once and for all. Finally, the day arrived, just like that morning, I left at the same hour, ran to the university, and arrived in class, agitated.
I sat down in the first seat, without taking my eyes off the spot where my beloved Princess was, because I had to be patient.
Smiling, I turned my gaze, only to bring myself a horrible and unexpected disappointment. April was sitting there next to someone else, talking to him. When I thought I was reliving my youth again, that love that made me the happiest man, life hit me with a blow I wasn't prepared for. I felt like everything was crumbling inside me, seeing her laugh and share with another guy, not me.
I wanted to say something, interrupt, but my legs simply trembled and did nothing. Nothing, for months, let April date another guy, fall in love with him, and have the relationship that should be mine. I was just a spectator. from her love, I was in the background, she luckily knew my name and felt terrible for not doing anything. Then I understood that maybe God existed and took pity on me, bringing me back to the time when I fell in love with April, she wouldn't have had that cancer but would fall in love with someone else.
Of course, that should have happened, I told myself, at the moment when she and I were supposed to be happy for finding out we'd be parents. The wind was blowing, I was still a virgin, my relationship with Celeste never advanced anything. Despite knowing the formula to get that Milf in my arms, I didn't do it, neither out of spite for the reality I lived nor because I wasn't interested. Isidora had spoken to me a couple of times, asking how I was and if I'd talked to April.
I never responded, nor did I respond to my friends who were talking about their adventures with Adriana and Laura. One afternoon, I sat down to write various letters, one addressed to each of the people closest to me. To Mom, I said that Dad had two daughters outside of marriage and knew he'd do the right thing when he found out. To my brother, I said he'd get married, have two kids, and then get divorced, commenting on his marriage mistakes so he could avoid them.
To Hugo and Cristian, I said they'd be successful, although they wouldn't have much luck in love, expressing what I considered to be the errors of not establishing a lasting relationship. Finally, I wrote a letter to Isidora, telling her that maybe out of spite I was going to make many mistakes, that I'd have a son named Bruno and would hurt him if he didn't put aside his pain. That she forgive me for not keeping my promise, but I had no more desire to live.
After writing the different letters, I left them on my desk, each with its intended recipient. I went up to the highest floor of the building, the sky was dark and the rain immediately covered my body. I walked slowly to the edge, looking down. I was preparing to jump into nothing, however, before I took that step, I heard a laugh behind me. Intrigued, I turned around, only to be perplexed, as the one laughing wasn't anyone else but myself or at least it seemed to be so.Who are you?I asked fearfully, with my hairs standing on end and my throat dry.I am your... Soul, consciousness and creatorwhispered with a whimsical smile.Tom, Tommy, Thomas, Tomas... Truly you have been the most stubborn of my creations, defying all my logics and writing your own story.He expressed, changing the scene where we were. No longer was I at the top of a building, but in a small room, where there was nothing.–“Are you God?”-I interpellated, trying to see behind the mask he was using, with which he hid his true identity.For you yes, for others just a subject like themHe commented, putting his hands in the pockets of his hood and whistling as he walked around me.If I'm being sincere, I never thought I'd be talking to you. But here I am, in front of you, negotiating about your futureHe said staying in front of me with his multi-colored and dark eyes and an unpleasant smile.–'Is-it-the-future?'-stammered confusedly.–“Yes, about your future. You can choose between three destinations, although clearly, there are certain consequences depending on what you choose, esteemed Tom. This is because from the very beginning you've been a problem for me. For example, it was supposed that you never should have fallen in love with April nor she with you, but they did and changed all my plans”-manifested with arrogance.And his children, haven't been an exception, are a real egg-headacheconcluded, giving me three blank sheets.I want a future where my Princess doesn't have cancer. That's the only thing I wantI said determined. It seemed those words didn't please him, since his countenance changed to a gloomy one.-As always defying my rules, I haven't even explained what futures you have in your stupid hands, damn it-'He assevered. After a short silence, he smiled maliciously again, looking at me straight and told me that if I wanted that future, I only had to keep away from April, however, it was forbidden for me to live my life.It's a damn joke, right?I commented irritated, since my life had no sense without her, what was the point of wanting to live such a hollow and bitter destiny.No, it's not a joke Tomás. After all, human beings don't always have the outcome we long for. Sometimes you have to give up on the love of your life, just for their happiness. But look on the bright side, I'll leave you with your beautiful memories of what was once your life with AprilEnunciated seriously.What about the other two futures?I asked him looking at him coldly.I love that gaze, it reminds me of a wild dog'sHe expressed with a mocking laugh.In the end, besides opting for a miserable life, you can be happy with Isidora or Rosita. If you choose the first one, you'll always be thinking of April, but all your other memories will fade away, you'll never know Camila and Blanca, nor your nieces, and they won't have such a simple life either
Now, if you choose Rosita. I'll take pity on you and leave the canvas of your memories blank. You won't wander eternally, remembering April anymore. But your life will be something complicated, since you first fell in love with LauraSignaled.-They will have Axel and along with them and Rosita, you'll form a family. However, as the girl grows up, you'll start to see her differently, from wanting to be her father, you'll want to be her man, exactly when she turns 18.clarifiedThen both will start having an adventure behind Laura's back. Something that shouldn't bother you, after all, you already betrayed the love of your life with that girl.He manifested with a big smile and running his finger over the wound.Your life will be hell when Laura finds out about you, even more so when Rosita confesses that she's expecting a child of yours.concluded. It wasn't easy negotiating with that crazy person, he just wanted to torture me for breaking a little of his story. But what was the point of that meeting in the first place, that wonderful moment where my Princess and I stopped being mere characters from a fictional story to have consciousness and write one where both of us loved each other. He looked at me expectantly waiting for my response and I just thanked him, surprising him. We went back up to the highest floor of the building, leaving him speechless I turned around without closing my eyes, took a step into nothingness, throwing myself at that miserable life. Ironically, when everything should have been adrenaline and my heart racing, everything slowed down and right where I was about to fall, I saw April with her partner who was mistreating her.What crap?I expressed myself, even though it was pointless to speak, then I knew that that jerk had hidden information about April from me. And everything turned black, to go see the cars from above the building. I was overwhelmed, couldn't I escape that fate?, retreating I realized someone had taken hold of my sweater. When I turned around, I saw it was April, her face covered by rain and her eyes enormous,PrincessI stuttered, she didn't say anything, until we were face to face.-I know it's not my concern, but why did you want to kill yourself, sir?-I ask, leaving myself confused.I'm studying psychology, you know, so I can help you if you want me tocomplement to her sentence, while I touched my face. She felt less smooth, with the scrape of my shaved beard. Before speaking to her, I took out my phone and looked at myself, noticing that I had become the 40-year-old subject again. What was even more implausible, having April 18 in front of me.Sir, is something wrong?He asked again, I stopping looking at myself, smiled at him. His sapphires remained bewildered and were sure to be more so, when I hugged her.–“Forgive... Forgive me my love, for all the harm I'm going to do to you. Forgive me for being a coward who runs away when you need me most. Forgive me, for being blind”-I declared while sobbing uncontrollably from my eyes.I know it seems crazy, but you and I in the universe are a marriage. We met at university and fell in love so much that we got married very young, plus having a daughter whom we named VanessaThe caresses of the young April woman were calming me down, helping me think more clearly and giving me peace at the same time.–“It will be our first daughter, but at the same time, as a fruit of our love, another life would also be developing in a foreign womb. Who will be called Axel and you'll love him like your own. Then we'll have Benjamin, we think it would be the last one, however, Simon arrived and before getting lost in this world, I found out that we're expecting twins”-I concluded.Lucas and LeonShe murmurs–“That's how I want them to be called, our next children”-He added, moving away from me with a smile. A murmur grew louder, above the storm's noise, until I was able to perceive that they were calling me.–“Hey Tomás! Hey Tomás!”-they were screaming with desperation. Opening my eyes I realized I was at Isidora's house and delirating from the fever. She, seeing me awake, calmed down,Less bad, you woke upHe said putting a handkerchief on my head.IsidoraI said sitting on the bed, all sweaty, with agitated breathing and a cold body, remembering that everything turned black when I tried to kiss her. My torso was naked and she only wore a transparent camisole. By instinct, I touched my groin area and looked at myself, to check if I had my pants on and hadn't gone crazy.
Isidora: Don't worry, nothing happened between us.
She said, trying to help me lie down in bed.
Me: Didn't you kiss me? Really?
Isidora: No.
She responded sharply.
Isidora: You barely brushed against my lips when you fainted. You started delirating from fever and I've been taking care of you since then.
I perceived sincerity in Isidora's declaration, which was ironic to me, because that woman with whom I had differences in the past and only wanted to be screwed by me, didn't take advantage of my pitiful situation. When our eyes crossed again, I saw once more that she wasn't that merciless person who did so much harm, but the kind girl who was my neighbor.RestsI'm murmuring with concern. It was something I needed, but wouldn't do, because the anxiety continued to disturb me. Crying, I sought refuge in her, like a small child does in its mother.I don't want to lose her, I don't want to lose her, I don't want to lose her... Sniffexpress it once and again and again and again and again. While she was caressing my neck and telling me I wouldn't lose her, that April would be fine. I assumed between my deliriums, I confessed to her that April had cancer. I didn't know how much I'd cried that day, but definitely, that cry was the one with the most feelings, there were. I fell asleep in Isidora's arms, and when I woke up, she wasn't next to me anymore, she had gone to cook something for me.
With great effort, I managed to get up and walk to where she was. Isidora saw me and worried about me, but I told her to stay calm, that I had enough strength to take a bath. She trusted my word and went to get me a towel and some clothes, while I drank a glass of water. My mind stopped spinning and calmed down, finally I could reason clearly and make the best decisions, at least about April's matter.
I got into the shower and washed up, thinking about what I would tell my Princess, leaving lies behind and confronting everything all at once. After finishing my bath, I dried off and dressed, again the shirt fit me perfectly and its design was familiar to me. I asked Isi for my shoes, she said they were still wet, so she passed me some slippers, which helped me realize where I had seen the shirt I was wearing before.
Isidora invited me to sit down at the table to have breakfast, but I rejected her invitation, telling her I had something urgent to do. I only took an apple from her fruit basket.–‘Thomas... I know all this is weird, but... But, I hope you've checked that I'm another woman and can be my son's mother again'She told me before I left.I knowI replied and stood still in front of the door.–‘Sorry for having taken you away from him, I should have faced my father instead of taking it out on you’-Add it. I took a few seconds before taking the handle, to open the door, and before doing so, she hugged me.I should be the one apologizing for all the harm I caused. Since everything I received in return was just a result of my mistakes.she manifested, leaving me completely convinced that there was no longer any trace of her more perverse side.
I: We all make mistakes, Isi. For example, I didn't realize how you felt about me when it was very evident to everyone.
Isidora: Gr-gra-gra... Snif... Thank you... Tomás...
She stammered, letting out a sea of tears, and on one side I felt happy because I was resolving an issue that maybe I had put off for many years. Let Isidora cry as much as she wanted, once she had calmed down, I turned around, wiped away her tears, and gave her a kiss on the forehead.
I: Well, see you later, Isi.
Isidora: See you, neighbor boy.
Hearing those words made me feel nostalgia and happiness at the same time.
I: By the way, Isi. I won't ask or get involved in your relationship with Benjamin. However, I hope you don't have illusions because he has a girlfriend and it's likely that he'll end up marrying her.
Isidora: Eh? Be-Ben... What are you talking about, Tomás?
I expressed myself with a nervous little laugh that revealed she was lying.
I: Isi, there's no need to pretend. Last night you said you were giving piano lessons and one of your students had been taking you out of your depression. A redhead, thin, of my same height and piercing eyes. In that description is my son, curiously he's taking piano lessons.
She answered, noticing how she was left frozen with a lump in her throat.
I: But what confirms that he's your student were his T-shirts and sneakers. Did you think I wouldn't notice these clothes are from my son?
Isidora's face turned completely red.
I: Hey, calm down, like I said, I won't get involved, but don't have illusions.
That was the last thing I said before opening the door and leaving. As I opened the gate, I found myself face to face with Benjamin. My son stood there frozen, his face a poem.– 'Dad?' -Stutter with difficulty.What's up Benji? Is everything okay at home? How is your mother?were my questions, my son was completely disconcerted and at the same time, unable to speak clearly to me. Yet he managed to tell me that everything was fine at home and that April was preparing for my father's birthday.
Me: Truth. Dad is having a birthday, aren't you going to see him?
Benjamin: Yes... Of course I'll go, so-so... Only comes to see my piano teacher.
Me: Already see. By the way, you and she...
The face of my son turned red like a tomato and he was unable to formulate any words.
Me: Hey, my only advice is to talk to Jose. She must be aware, okay? Or have you already told her?
I consulted, noticing that my sister-in-law was hiding behind a tree about a meter away from him, but innocently showing her face.
Benjamin: No.
Me: Well then, good luck.
I pointed towards where she was, and Benjamin turned to look at her, his red face turning white, so pale it seemed like a ghost. I turned around and continued on my way, taking a bite of the apple. As I walked away, I could hear them murmuring, not arguing but dialoguing. I returned to where I had gone the night before to get my motorcycle. Putting on my helmet, I started up the engine, but before facing April, I was going to make a special stop.
I called Alexander and drove to his house; he was in his backyard smoking a cigarette when he saw me, and a smile formed on his face. Alex let me in and barely took one step before I asked him for a duel with kendo swords. It was a battle where I sought to be hit and feel good about myself. He realized it wasn't serious so the game ended soon after; afterwards, he asked what had brought me.
Me: I'm afraid of losing April and an endless number of emotions related to sadness are suffocating me and I don't feel capable of looking at her face.
Alexander: What?
Me: April has cancer, Alex. And I don't want to lose her. They echoed in Alexander, leaving me paralyzed for a moment before embracing me. Among all the people I know, only he gave me the confidence to talk about that topic and break down again. I had heard him say so many times from his own mouth, the pain of living day by day without the person you love, but it wasn't until that moment that I understood why he had immersed himself in violence for so long and was seeking his death.
After the conversation with Alexander, I felt prepared enough to go talk to April, no more excuses, I would see her face, confess my betrayal, and tell her I would be by her side even if she didn't want to see me. Because I wasn't going to leave her alone in this process. Before leaving, Bella arrived and noticed how the atmosphere became a bit uncomfortable. They were unable to look each other straight in the eye, despite being friends and living under the same roof, it was sure that something had happened, and my way of thanking Alexander was to create the right scene for them to solve their problems.
I would have liked to hear their conversation and know how they dealt with that tension. However, I had my own matters to attend to, so I took the motorcycle and went back home, when Vanessa called me.Where's Daddy?My daughter asked something altered because my cell phone had been off since the previous night after I left with low battery and just charged it during my stay at Alexander's house. I had an endless number of missed messages and calls from all my kids and April. Including Benjamin, who clearly expected me to return home after we met up at Isidora's house.-I came to see Alex, I needed to talk to him. But now I'm going home, sweetheart.-I answered, she as if it were my mother, started scolding me for not giving any sign of life and worrying everyone. I couldn't say anything in my defense, she was right to call me out and I felt proud that my girl had turned into a good woman.Excuse me, daughterI responded, Good dad, forget it. Just come to the cabins, we're going to start with the birthday of grandpa soon.She said, now calmer and in the background I managed to hear Simon, so I supposed that my Princess was already there with them.Okay, I'm comingI replied to him, after saying that, I hung up and got on the move. During the trip, I was thinking about my speech and the different scenarios I could face according to my wife's reaction.
Discovering that my wife seemed to have cancer destroyed me completely. I felt like my heart wasn't beating and instead a crushing sting was present. That turmoil of entrails when believing I was being unfaithful transformed into a knot that reminded me every instant of how stupid I was. The tears I had been holding back since reading my wife's medical report finally appeared in my eyes, descending slowly down my cheeks.
I had never felt so incapable of facing something in my life. I couldn't lift my head and go back home to hug my wife and offer her support, tell her that everything would be okay, that I would be by her side on this difficult path and we would emerge victorious. No, instead I took refuge in the powerlessness of knowing I could lose her and wasn't able to prevent that divine punishment. It was the best time to blame God for this misfortune, yet I had never been a strong believer.
Instead of thinking there was a being watching us from heaven, putting us through tests to see who were his true servants. I preferred to believe we were just small molecules created by accident in a collision of gases. Gripping my right hand, I gave the bench a strong punch, feeling like my knuckles pierced the wood and splinters lodged themselves. Finally, the clouds burst and the rain accompanied my tears, in that melancholic scene where I was.
Thanks to the noise of the storm that had unatamed could scream everything I wanted and no one would hear me. Imagining my life without April was the worst nightmare I could be experiencing. Being the best therapist in the city or country didn't mean I could help myself in a moment of crisis. After all, I'm a human being just like everyone else. I breathe, eat, sleep, drink water to survive. I was on the ropes and practically falling into the madness. I begged for me to have cancer instead of my wife, she didn't deserve that. She was the kindest, most pleasant, loyal, and gentle woman I had ever known, with a perhaps her only flaw being capricious about her fetish. Without her, my life would be completely different, no doubt. With my hair entirely wet and dripping, I brought my hands to my head and let out another cry seeking comfort. Because, as I said, without April it was likely that I would have ended up being a cold and arrogant man. There wouldn't have been family or maybe there would, a woman I would psychologically abuse and a son I would ignore. I would be the typical absent father who demands achievements from his kid only to miss their birthday parties. Instead, I lost that coldness that characterized me and started relating to people. To understand them and be affable. All of this was possible because one day I met my Princess in a classroom, with red hair, blue eyes, a prominent nose, fine lips, an oval face, long eyelashes. Thin, with deadly curves, a pair of large breasts, a narrow waist, wide hips, a pompous butt and long legs. If I had a manic pixie dream girl, April would definitely be it. She met all the expectations of an infatuated teenager to find that dream love. Now I understand better why my friends, from the moment they saw April, told me I was lucky and envied me. Of course, they must have dreamed of meeting a girl like her at some point. Some defects, like any human being, but naming it now would be cruel, besides thinking of her as a bad person is impossible for me in these minutes. I should be by her side, taking care of her, giving her peace and not worrying her, since I don't know where I got myself into. Because I'm sure Mariano already told her that I went to see him and that I know everything about her illness.
I acted like a teenager instead of an adult, I know, but in that instant when my eyes read the word cancer, everything came crashing down on me. The air became scarce, as if I was inside a box, and a suffocating anxiety took hold of me. I didn't want to wake her up, I didn't want to pressure her into explaining everything, so I left to go find her doctor in my car, but when I searched for my keys, I realized I had left them inside this place.
Desperate, I was about to break the glass, but just as our neighbor's son arrived on his motorcycle. I ran towards him and asked to borrow his motorcycle in exchange for giving him some money. The boy agreed, although I noticed concern on his face, maybe he imagined that I didn't know how to ride or drive it. However, there was a brief period when April and I would go for rides on our motorcycle, sometimes I drove, other times she did, but all of that was forgotten once Vanessa turned two.
A motorcycle wasn't a vehicle for taking a child, so we sold it. Without any worry, I started driving at a very high speed, I wanted to reach my wife's doctor, I wanted him to tell me that everything was a joke and that she wouldn't die. I'm not exactly sure how, but I passed car after car until I collided with the doctor's car. The license plate was engraved in my memory because when I thought he was April's lover, I used to observe it and repeat it to myself.
He parked on a corner and got out, I did the same and taking off The helmet, I yelled at himHey, Mariano!He turned around with a confused face, while I was running towards where he was.Do I know you?asked bewildered, I am Tomas Bastidas, the husband of April Harper, your patientI replied, standing face to face with him. Mariano's face changed to one of absolute surprise, he didn't know what to say to me, never thought he'd see my face.
Me: Tell me it's a lie, tell me it's not true...
I said with desperation, grabbing his shirt.
Mariano: To-Tomás... Calm down.
Me: Calm down? How the hell am I supposed to calm down when I've discovered my wife has cancer?
I manifested with crystallized eyes.
Me: How serious is it? And please, don't sugarcoat the situation because all I want to know is if my wife can die or not.
Mariano: Good... It's complicated, she's at a stage where it would be ideal to remove the tumors, however, she refuses to interrupt her pregnancy. I'd like to tell you that there wouldn't be any problems after delivery, but due to her age and the tumors being malignant, the situation isn't that simple.
Those words destroyed me, I let go, bent my head and turned around halfway. I wanted to break something, get rid of this anger and frustration for not being able to do anything for April. Mariano's voice kept getting farther away from me and all I could hear was a hum.Princess... My Princess... No, no, no. It's not true. It's a damn dream, a cursed one.I repeated myself, taking the motorcycle, to get as far away from everyone and have no one see me like this, so fragile and broken, that's how I arrived at this isolated place. Princess, was the first word I said when I saw her and my soul left my body. My eyes only focused on her beautiful face. Her anatomy was unknown to me until after class, when I could see her potential up close. Going out with her was a lottery and her noticing me was a blessing. The air was scarce with so much pain tearing me apart, while the thousands of adventures she had lived through came back to me in memory. Piece by piece like a puzzle, building the silhouette of the woman who stole my heart. I don't know exactly how long I'd been under the rain, but my body started to numb. My eyes were swollen from crying and my head hurt like waking up after a big party with a nasty hangover. Between delirium, I heard footsteps, some that approached me and became more perceptible when they stepped in the puddles. I kept thinking it was part of my imagination until I saw a black umbrella settle on top of me. When I turned around, I contemplated a face I never thought I'd see in such a situation.–“Isi...”-I said trembling with cold and in a tone so low that the wind muffled it. Same one that was stirring my ex-girlfriend's long hair and my younger brother's mother. Her eyes froze on mine, just like when we were young and I felt frustrated, she would appear to console me.What are you doing here, Tomas?She consulted worriedly, as if nothing had happened between us and we were still those kids who would look at each other from one room to another sometimes. The situation was so implausible that I kept believing it was a fantasy of my already disordered sanity.–‘Leaving my sadness out. So that my kids don't see it and especially not my Princess’I answered, letting out my breath that contrasted with the cold air of the storm, forming a mist.What are you doing here?I asked while trying to get up from the bench, nevertheless, as soon as I put my foot down, I slipped and fell to the floor. My legs were weak like everything about me.
Isidora ran to help me, and I could stand up with her support. In that state, I looked like a drunk person who kept their eyes open with great difficulty.You haven't answered me yetI whispered to him, resting my head on his shoulder.–“I've always liked going for a walk when the sky clouds over. Obviously, I didn't think it would rain torrentially, but I'm glad I did it, because I found myself with you. Maybe it was fate.”-He signaled. Only I laughed briefly at his declaration, it was all so absurd that if I had had more strength, I would have laughed out loud. Step by step, we were walking towards his house, the silence reigned, the aroma of his perfume was as sweet as April's, and it was getting impregnated in my sense of smell.Hey Isi. Why do you help me?I consulted him shivering with coldBecause we're friends. Well, we were. It's true that over time everything got diluted and we ended up distant, but I can't leave you in this state.Her words still seemed sincere to me, even making me slightly excited. The past we once tried to erase came back to unite us, or maybe it was something from the present.By the way, I'm giving piano lessons. And recently I met a guy who, unlike you, learned very quickly.He said accompanied by a burlesque chuckle.You know very well that I never had the intention of learning to play the piano. I only tried because it would help me disconnect from my daily routine for a bit.I responded with difficulty, forcing a smile.He doesn't intend to dedicate himself to music either. He only does it for fun, and maybe because he likes seeing me.I explain with notable pride between his words. I suppose she made her feel desired, happy that she hadn't wilted and that it was still time to start anew.And how's the guy?I asked him, causing a small silence, perhaps because he didn't expect me to ask about him or maybe he needed time to describe it to me.I think it's your same heightIt was the first thing he said, after those seconds where the wind's sigh prevailed.Thin, but has an incredible strength and his hair is blonde, fine like the hairs of a brush, although clearly softer and silkier, clear eyes and piercing like those of a wolfHe complemented it, then before those words, I couldn't help but think of someone who wasn't April, which generated another devastating pain for me. I lowered my gaze so she wouldn't see me crying, even though it was obvious that I was doing so, from the noise I made while sobbing. When I arrived at her house, I perceived a warm and friendly air, that gloomy place where my brother had grown up no longer existed, nor did one sense melancholy. Had a young lad like Isidora changed her that much?, I wondered as my body began to feel the warmth of the house.See if you want to go to the bathroom and take a shower.He said passing me some clothes. I listened, with the strength that still remained in me, I went to wash and take out that anxiety blanket I had. At any other time, I wouldn't have trusted Isidora or believed in her change. It would be a fool who never saw her as a good person unless my dear Princess told me otherwise. Remembering her again made me break into tears, while doing so, I listened to how Isidora was playing her piano and interpreting,Can’t Help Falling in LoveIn my memory there was a mix of images that showed my disgusting and hypocritical face. Who was I to judge Isi?, I wasn't so different from what she had done in the past. I lied shamelessly one and another time to my wife, wore a mask in front of my kids and took advantage of a girl's love to satisfy my sexual appetite. The tender kisses I gave April sometimes turned into the passionate ones I had with Rosita.
The caresses of that girl intermingled with those of my wife, which burned and ignited my lust. Her gazes crossed with mine, I didn't know who to look at, whether at those sapphires or those dark pearls. It's sad not being able to say openly that I wanted to be with Rosita, because my heart still belonged to April. That was the reality, because in those months of solitude, I found love in the arms of that cute brunette, there were days when I didn't even want to go back home, due to the routine and indifference with which I lived.
I preferred spending my afternoons with Rosita, because I felt different and full of life, while at home with April, I experienced a void that overwhelmed me. If only I had discovered her illness before, maybe everything would be different. Or maybe not, maybe I was destined to have a secret romance with that young black girl who made my body and I desire her, even in that moment when I felt so overwhelmed, I preferred going to her rather than running to April.
Finally, I was sincere with myself, which left me even more broken, since I was so miserable. I got out of the shower, dried my body and put on the pants and shirt that Isidora had passed me. The pants imagined they belonged to Bruno, as they were a bit long, while the shirt fit my body well, so it couldn't be his, besides the design seemed very familiar to me. Without wanting to bother with this, I left the bathroom, Isidora had tea prepared for me.
I took the cup and I kept drinking, at the same time as I was slipping back into my thoughts. Between lights and shadows, my mind took me to a land where I hadn't discovered the cancer that seemed like April. Still blinded by my lust and egoism, unable to empathize lightly with whoever had been in a relationship for over 20 years. So I continued spending my nights with Rosita, as just passing afternoons wasn't enough to fill my sick sexual appetite.
This would lead to April discovering us, however not in the department of the cute brunette, but in our marital bed. Everything would unravel after a weekend where Benjamin would leave with Josefina, Diana would do the same with her boyfriend for benefits. My wife, on the other hand, stayed home, she didn't look well, quite the opposite, fatigue was visible on her face. Despite that sign and others right in front of me, I was unable to suspect my wife was ill.
I, being a complete jerk and unhappy person, invited my mistress to stay with me that weekend so I could enjoy the adrenaline of doing it just meters away from April. When Rosita arrived, I was with Simón, but I didn't care about kissing her in front of my little son. My tongue devoured the hot and sweet mouth of the young girl, entwining with her tongue fiercely, while with one of my hands I held her to me so she could feel how hard I already was.
That day, she would show me her maternal side, convincing me that she would be a very good stepmother for Simón. The idea of separating from April increased every day as I had found everything I was looking for in this girl. However, there was something holding me back from taking that final step. Maybe it was fear of how my sons would react or unease about how April would take it, perhaps both options were what ended up paralyzing me.
My flirting with the cute brunette was brazen, however, with no one present house, I wasn't hesitant to hug it, touch it or kiss it. Even at night, we dared to go further, since while leaving the dinner to finish cooking, she was giving me a Cuban. Her enormous chocolate-shaped breasts rose and fell over my sword, with much tenderness, as her thick lips wrapped around my glans and her scorching tongue slid along it.–“Jojofder, Rosita... What a yummy masturbation, you're treating me”-I manifested, stifling my moans with great effort. I didn't want Simon to wake up from my screams and have to interrupt the wonderful work Rosita was doing. She was removing her plump lips from my cock and looked at me fixedly with her eyes accompanied by a capricious smile. I didn't know exactly what she was thinking, but I never suspected that it would leave me wanting to cum. Aparting her soft brown breasts from my groin, she lowered her blouse, which was rolled up, and stood up.What are you doing?I asked her, taking one of her dolls.Give you a small punishment, for not telling your wife that I love youShe replied, slipping out of my hand. Before I could say anything, she sat on my legs and brought her caramelized mouth to mine.But forget it, I'll give you a reward if you only hug me in front of herI affirm, moving away from me with a smile. It was a dangerous game, but apparently it had become almost indifferent to me by that point if April suspected something. My body yearned to conclude the little game we had started, so as soon as my wife appeared in the dining room for dinner, I positioned myself behind that voluptuous girl and wrapped my arms around her waist, pressing her against me, rubbing my cock against her booty, so she could feel how horny I was. A triumphant smile formed on her lips, and with pride, she looked towards where my wife was, as if wanting to say that now I belonged to her.
April seemed not to be affected by what she witnessed, instead her face didn't reflect even a second of surprise. My theory that she knew about my adventure with this girl grew stronger, because knowing my wife perfectly, something of jealousy must have been placed in her if she didn't suspect anything. Although clearly, still being aware that I was sleeping with Rosita, she should project some jealousy, but she didn't, and I remained unable to see what was happening.
We sat down at the table and began dinner, April having a brief conversation with Rosita, asking how things were going in her studies. The young girl, playful, replied that they were fine, while using one of her feet to touch my crotch. This generated a small discomfort in me, but it was nothing compared to her next move. Just as my gaze met April's and my wife gave me a smile, Rosita slipped under the table.
I felt a shiver run down my spine as I noticed the fervent tongue of the cute brunette passing over my torso. My pupils became enormous, leaving me perplexed, while my eyes continued to observe April. In those seconds, the girl unbuttoned my belt and pulled out my cock. I swallowed saliva and felt a cold sweat dripping down my foreheadWhat's going on?I consulted my wife, not knowing what was happening under the table, I without responding her, diverted my gaze towards where that black girl was, who had my cock in her hands.ShhShe said, placing her index finger between her lips and with a mischievous smile drawn on. I swallowed again and my pulse accelerated so much that I felt like my heart was going to burst out of my chest.–“Tom, are you okay?-My wife asked me again, with a tone of concern in her voice.S-s-s... Yes...I balbuced, looking at her, with a fake smile. Then Rosita swallowed my dagger, the deepest part of her throat, I had to bite my lips not to let out my cry and even so it escaped a sigh. I couldn't explain why I was so terrified that my wife would find us, if I already assumed she knew about me and that girl. And if I didn't do so, I had an excuse with which to defend myself, so I shouldn't be afraid. However, I couldn't stay calm while she was near, which also contradicted the bold attitude I had before. I was going crazy, between the terror of being caught and the pleasure Rosita gave me. The seconds were making themselves slower and more suffocating, it seemed like I was inside a urn, because I was no longer able to breathe. A discussion arose in my head, a loud voice saying don't be afraid of anything, that April was the guilty one after all, since she had forced me first to fulfill her fantasies. On the other hand, a more serene but cold voice said leave being a coward because I only got myself into this and if I was so terrified then let's just finish with this adventure once. Those voices began making themselves stronger in my head, resonating in my ears like two incessant trumpets, at any moment I would faint and everything would be over for me.Enough!I was about to scream and slap the table with my hands when I felt the warmth of my wife. She had touched my right hand and just by doing that, she made me calm.–“Tom, I have to leave for a moment”-she told me with her pupils almost covered by a veil of tears. If I had been a good husband, I would have asked where she was going at those hours, if she wanted me to accompany her, or consulted her directly, what was happening to her, because it wasn't the first time she went out at those hours. However, I remained silent as always and only attended with my head, letting her go. Without my wife's presence, the lust that was inside me, struggling with fear, unleashed itself from the chains that held it back. It returned to being the sex-addicted man I had become.
Looking through the short and fine curtain, my eyes appreciated the fiery and lascivious face of Rosita, who was eating me out with great enthusiasm. Smiling, I caressed her beautiful caramel-colored face with my fingers. She released my lock and licked her mouth. Coming out of her hiding place, she sat on my legs and murmured some words I didn't hear because I was focused on those burning lips. We kissed intensely, while our fiery bodies stimulated each other.
Her chamomile-scented saliva intoxicated me more in that ardent desire. Taking her from her thighs, I reclined her on the table and removed her clothes. Kissing her ebony skin, I lost myself in her bodily fragrance and perfume aroma.Come on... To our roomHe said with a mischievous smile, just when I was profiling my cock to bury it in him.Come onI replied, loading up and following her libidinous game, without even thinking about the consequences. We were completely absorbed in our lust, my hands firmly holding Rosita's waist, while she rode with a mastery that made me hallucinate. Our mouths merged, stifling any scream, but the collision of our bodies created a wild and obscene buzzing.–“Pregnant me, my love... Pregnant me!”-She would repeat it over and over again, as her nails dug into my back, scratching my skin. I felt like I was on Mount Olympus, being with her in that way on my bed. I wondered if she had ever done it this way with April, thinking of my wife again made me slow down my thrusts. However, Rosita continued to sway her hips at an impressive rhythm, moaning at the same time.–“Ohhh, God... I'm coming, Tomas, I'm comin'!!”-I exclaimed the cute brunette, convulsing while my cock continued to be lodged in her pussy.
It was then that what was already inevitable occurred. The bedroom door slowly opened. Not knowing the identity of the person about to enter, something told me it was April. My entire body went numb, as if I were in a tub filled with ice. It was futile trying to do anything at that moment, so my wife wouldn't catch us, but I still tried. I wanted that girl to jump on top of me, but it was impossible to free myself from those hands that had me surrounded and that pussy that absorbed my cock.
My heart accelerated, but not due to a pleasant adrenaline rush, rather due to a suffocating desperation. Finally, the door opened and my wife's crystallized eyes contemplated my sin. She didn't utter a word or make any noise, however, tears were falling from her cheeks that broke my soul. It wasn't long before she turned around and disappeared from there. I understood in that minute that the reason I couldn't separate myself from her was because I still loved her like no other.
Our relationship may have seemed dead, but my heart continued to beat for her alone, only for her, Rosita's love was limited to the physical. No matter how much affection I had for that girl, the love I felt for April would never be equalled.–“Are you okay, Tomás? Tomás, are you alright?”-I suddenly heard, emerging from that fantasy. In front of me was Isidora, worried about my state, even though she knew it was her, I couldn't stop projecting the image of my wife onto her.–“I... I... Princess... I love youI said, trying to kiss her, but nothing remained in black. I was sinking into the deepest part of the sea, everything was dark and the water was very dense. The last drop of air went out and I swallowed that cold water filling my lungs. I tried to find something to hold onto, to get out of that cold, dark, and immense ocean, but there was nothing to support me. I only sank deeper and deeper into that current that seemed to drag me in with its hands. Those must be the hands of my sins, I thought, after all, I didn't stop reproaching myself for betraying my wife, which weighed on me and hurt. It was devastating to have fallen into something as infamous as lust and to have played with the feelings of two women. I deserved that, falling so deep and feeling my body being awakened by the water pressure. I was willing to suffer it, in exchange for April living, to see Simon and those two children growing up in her belly. She had strength to do it, I didn't, of course not. Without her light in my life, I would be nothing and would fade away like a candle in a storm.
The mere thought of losing my Princess terrified me, so I empathized well with Alexander when he first came to my consultation. All my knowledge about human psychology didn't influence me at that desolate moment. There were reasons for me to hold onto life, but I didn't want it if April wasn't by my side. I believed I needed punishment for betraying her, but not losing her, and in that I saw a light and a figure approaching me.
That light became more intense until I couldn't distinguish who it was, but I swam towards the surface, freeing myself from those hands that were dragging me into hell, but when I was almost out of that dark ocean, I heard April's voice from those hands telling me not to go. I turned around for a few seconds, appreciating her precious face amidst all that black water and with '... Her hand was trying to grab me. I woke up totally sweaty, agitated and with my pajamas stuck to my body.Ah, at least you're waking up sleepyhead.Listen, as my eyes got used to the light in the room. Diverting my gaze towards where that voice had come from, I realized it was my mother, who seemed to have rejuvenated. She was opening the curtains, making the sun's rays illuminate that room more.Mom?I said bewildered, What's going on with my kid?She asks me, approaching me,–“Where is April?”-Answer, wiping my eyes.– 'Is April? Who is April?'-He was questioned while sitting on the bed, I still innocent, let out a laugh thinking it was my mother's joke.Oh come on mom, tell me where my wife is, I want to talk to herI manifested waiting to know where my Princess was, so I could go talk to her and face the cruel reality of her cancer.-Is that wife? What are you talking about son? How can you have a wife if you just turned 18 and don't talk to girls except for Isidora?-She let out a serious face.–“Say... Say... Eighteen?-I babbled, realizing that not only was my mother younger, but I found myself in my old room, in the old house of my parents. What the hell was going on? I didn't understand absolutely nothing, looking around at everything. Everything looked just like it used to be, I had my first mobile phone that my parents gave me, my desk was full of books and everything was meticulously organized. Getting up from bed, I ran towards the bathroom, where Ricardo came out, much to my surprise, also younger. My brother looked at me strangely while letting out a laugh at my stunned face. One that would continue to deform with surprise, seeing myself in the mirror. I was an 18-year-old kid, touching all over my body, I couldn't believe it was all real, did it have to be a joke?, I thought as I pinched my cheeks and screamed in pain.Tomás, darling, what are you doing?I expressed my worried mom, grabbing hold of my hands to prevent her from hurting me again. I looked back at myself in the mirror, starting to accept that I had strangely returned in time.Mama, I have to go to LondonI said, automatically.-“To London? Where do you want me to take out money for us to go to London, Tomas? Your father works hard, not to indulge your whims”-Mom seemed already mad with so many shows she was doing.Mom you don't understand. I need to go see my Princess.He implored me, while Ricardo was laughing at my words.What princess are you talking about, son? Are you drunk?I interpellated him again with his worried face, for every delirium he let out.I'm talking about April, mom. About your daughter-in-law, the mother of your grandchildren and my wife. I know you're going to think I'm crazy, but I swear what I'm telling you is trueI affirm, looking at myself again in the mirror.–“It sounds like more than a joke, little brother. Wait, let me guess. Your 'princess' is blonde, with blue eyes, has incredible curves, good tits and a perfect ass, right?-I comment my brother, mocking me.Yes... That's itI replied, seeing how my brother's laughter was getting louder and more annoying, to the point of irritating me. I wanted mom to let me go so I could go give that idiot Ricardo a good punch.Oh God, I knew it was only a matter of time before you lost your mind, reading so many booksI declare, leaving while mom was still looking at me incredulously. Her hands seemed to be losing strength, so I managed to wriggle free from her and ran after the idiot of my brother, who showed me a porn actress on his phone. A woman who was exactly like April, for more awareness, her nationality was British and ironically, she was named Vanessa, just like our daughter.This is the famous princess of Tomás, momI point out the idiot with his mocking smile and show Mom the photo of that girl. My mother looked at me convinced I had lost a screw. Shaking her head from side to side, she sighs,I knew those two little friends of yours are bad influence. I don't want you to hang out with them again, understood?He said with an authoritative voice. Angry, frustrated and even humiliated, I walked to my room, closing the door with force and locking myself in it. I stayed there all morning and afternoon, I didn't feel like eating, or urinating or taking a drink. No, I was thinking about April and our sons, Vanessa, Benjamin, Axel and Simon. It cost me to accept that I had lost them, as if everything were a spell taken from some comic book, like the one Spiderman cast on Mephisto. Lying in my bed, I kept thinking when suddenly I heard knocks at my window, it was Isidora.
Seeing her when she was still innocent returned me a little hope, it was as if she were telling me that everything wasn't over, but I could rewrite the story I already knew, but avoid the mistakes I made. Starting with her, treating her feelings properly, leaving her clear that I didn't love her, but in a very subtle way and wanting to be only her friend. After all, Bruno deserved to have a loving mother and not the possessive one she had become because of my fault.
Even if that meant Bruno would no longer be my brother, I would be happy for him to grow up in a healthy family environment without lies. Opening the window, I let her pass, she stumbled and had to lean on me so she wouldn't fall, her lips brushed against mine. Isidora blushed and asked for forgiveness at the same time as I smiled seeing her so innocent and tender. She held a chocolate and a juice box in her hands, which she gave me as if she knew I hadn't eaten or drunk anything.
Accepting it, I unwrapped the chocolate and bit into it with certain desperation. She laughed and without saying anything rested her head on my shoulder. Now that I was aware of her feelings, she called me an idiot for not realizing them when she did. like what was happening to April.–“Isi... I'll be leaving here in a few days. You won't see me again for months and when you do, I'll be dating a girl.”-I confessed, stroking her smooth black hair. She lifted her head and looked at me with strangeness, knowing I should go slow and initially that wasn't my plan so she wouldn't turn into the dangerous woman she became, nevertheless something urged me to speak to her sincerely, perhaps because I was seeking refuge in someone.I know it's going to hurt you, however, I can't force my feelings to love you. If there were a way, I would do it, because you're an extraordinary girl and also very beautifulI told him, caressing his cheek, while those eyes were piercing through me.What are you talking about, Tomas?I consult without understanding what I was referring to, so I started telling her everything I had said to my mother and some things more from my life. Unlike Mom and my brother, Isidora believed me, I don't know why, maybe because of her unconditional love for me.
We spent the night talking, looking at the ceiling, and agreeing to help each other out. Although before she left her house, she asked me to give her a kiss, she just wanted one from me. I agreed, but before giving it to her, I told her I would do it once I was with April, I wanted my first kiss to be with her. Isidora hesitated but eventually accepted, which filled me with joy.
That's how I started rebuilding my life, all the events would develop exactly the same way, although I didn't act the same way.
The months continued passing, despite having to be there at that moment, obsessed with Celeste's body, the only thing going through my head was April, I wanted the encounter to happen once and for all. Finally, the day arrived, just like that morning, I left at the same hour, ran to the university, and arrived in class, agitated.
I sat down in the first seat, without taking my eyes off the spot where my beloved Princess was, because I had to be patient.
Smiling, I turned my gaze, only to bring myself a horrible and unexpected disappointment. April was sitting there next to someone else, talking to him. When I thought I was reliving my youth again, that love that made me the happiest man, life hit me with a blow I wasn't prepared for. I felt like everything was crumbling inside me, seeing her laugh and share with another guy, not me.
I wanted to say something, interrupt, but my legs simply trembled and did nothing. Nothing, for months, let April date another guy, fall in love with him, and have the relationship that should be mine. I was just a spectator. from her love, I was in the background, she luckily knew my name and felt terrible for not doing anything. Then I understood that maybe God existed and took pity on me, bringing me back to the time when I fell in love with April, she wouldn't have had that cancer but would fall in love with someone else.
Of course, that should have happened, I told myself, at the moment when she and I were supposed to be happy for finding out we'd be parents. The wind was blowing, I was still a virgin, my relationship with Celeste never advanced anything. Despite knowing the formula to get that Milf in my arms, I didn't do it, neither out of spite for the reality I lived nor because I wasn't interested. Isidora had spoken to me a couple of times, asking how I was and if I'd talked to April.
I never responded, nor did I respond to my friends who were talking about their adventures with Adriana and Laura. One afternoon, I sat down to write various letters, one addressed to each of the people closest to me. To Mom, I said that Dad had two daughters outside of marriage and knew he'd do the right thing when he found out. To my brother, I said he'd get married, have two kids, and then get divorced, commenting on his marriage mistakes so he could avoid them.
To Hugo and Cristian, I said they'd be successful, although they wouldn't have much luck in love, expressing what I considered to be the errors of not establishing a lasting relationship. Finally, I wrote a letter to Isidora, telling her that maybe out of spite I was going to make many mistakes, that I'd have a son named Bruno and would hurt him if he didn't put aside his pain. That she forgive me for not keeping my promise, but I had no more desire to live.
After writing the different letters, I left them on my desk, each with its intended recipient. I went up to the highest floor of the building, the sky was dark and the rain immediately covered my body. I walked slowly to the edge, looking down. I was preparing to jump into nothing, however, before I took that step, I heard a laugh behind me. Intrigued, I turned around, only to be perplexed, as the one laughing wasn't anyone else but myself or at least it seemed to be so.Who are you?I asked fearfully, with my hairs standing on end and my throat dry.I am your... Soul, consciousness and creatorwhispered with a whimsical smile.Tom, Tommy, Thomas, Tomas... Truly you have been the most stubborn of my creations, defying all my logics and writing your own story.He expressed, changing the scene where we were. No longer was I at the top of a building, but in a small room, where there was nothing.–“Are you God?”-I interpellated, trying to see behind the mask he was using, with which he hid his true identity.For you yes, for others just a subject like themHe commented, putting his hands in the pockets of his hood and whistling as he walked around me.If I'm being sincere, I never thought I'd be talking to you. But here I am, in front of you, negotiating about your futureHe said staying in front of me with his multi-colored and dark eyes and an unpleasant smile.–'Is-it-the-future?'-stammered confusedly.–“Yes, about your future. You can choose between three destinations, although clearly, there are certain consequences depending on what you choose, esteemed Tom. This is because from the very beginning you've been a problem for me. For example, it was supposed that you never should have fallen in love with April nor she with you, but they did and changed all my plans”-manifested with arrogance.And his children, haven't been an exception, are a real egg-headacheconcluded, giving me three blank sheets.I want a future where my Princess doesn't have cancer. That's the only thing I wantI said determined. It seemed those words didn't please him, since his countenance changed to a gloomy one.-As always defying my rules, I haven't even explained what futures you have in your stupid hands, damn it-'He assevered. After a short silence, he smiled maliciously again, looking at me straight and told me that if I wanted that future, I only had to keep away from April, however, it was forbidden for me to live my life.It's a damn joke, right?I commented irritated, since my life had no sense without her, what was the point of wanting to live such a hollow and bitter destiny.No, it's not a joke Tomás. After all, human beings don't always have the outcome we long for. Sometimes you have to give up on the love of your life, just for their happiness. But look on the bright side, I'll leave you with your beautiful memories of what was once your life with AprilEnunciated seriously.What about the other two futures?I asked him looking at him coldly.I love that gaze, it reminds me of a wild dog'sHe expressed with a mocking laugh.In the end, besides opting for a miserable life, you can be happy with Isidora or Rosita. If you choose the first one, you'll always be thinking of April, but all your other memories will fade away, you'll never know Camila and Blanca, nor your nieces, and they won't have such a simple life either
Now, if you choose Rosita. I'll take pity on you and leave the canvas of your memories blank. You won't wander eternally, remembering April anymore. But your life will be something complicated, since you first fell in love with LauraSignaled.-They will have Axel and along with them and Rosita, you'll form a family. However, as the girl grows up, you'll start to see her differently, from wanting to be her father, you'll want to be her man, exactly when she turns 18.clarifiedThen both will start having an adventure behind Laura's back. Something that shouldn't bother you, after all, you already betrayed the love of your life with that girl.He manifested with a big smile and running his finger over the wound.Your life will be hell when Laura finds out about you, even more so when Rosita confesses that she's expecting a child of yours.concluded. It wasn't easy negotiating with that crazy person, he just wanted to torture me for breaking a little of his story. But what was the point of that meeting in the first place, that wonderful moment where my Princess and I stopped being mere characters from a fictional story to have consciousness and write one where both of us loved each other. He looked at me expectantly waiting for my response and I just thanked him, surprising him. We went back up to the highest floor of the building, leaving him speechless I turned around without closing my eyes, took a step into nothingness, throwing myself at that miserable life. Ironically, when everything should have been adrenaline and my heart racing, everything slowed down and right where I was about to fall, I saw April with her partner who was mistreating her.What crap?I expressed myself, even though it was pointless to speak, then I knew that that jerk had hidden information about April from me. And everything turned black, to go see the cars from above the building. I was overwhelmed, couldn't I escape that fate?, retreating I realized someone had taken hold of my sweater. When I turned around, I saw it was April, her face covered by rain and her eyes enormous,PrincessI stuttered, she didn't say anything, until we were face to face.-I know it's not my concern, but why did you want to kill yourself, sir?-I ask, leaving myself confused.I'm studying psychology, you know, so I can help you if you want me tocomplement to her sentence, while I touched my face. She felt less smooth, with the scrape of my shaved beard. Before speaking to her, I took out my phone and looked at myself, noticing that I had become the 40-year-old subject again. What was even more implausible, having April 18 in front of me.Sir, is something wrong?He asked again, I stopping looking at myself, smiled at him. His sapphires remained bewildered and were sure to be more so, when I hugged her.–“Forgive... Forgive me my love, for all the harm I'm going to do to you. Forgive me for being a coward who runs away when you need me most. Forgive me, for being blind”-I declared while sobbing uncontrollably from my eyes.I know it seems crazy, but you and I in the universe are a marriage. We met at university and fell in love so much that we got married very young, plus having a daughter whom we named VanessaThe caresses of the young April woman were calming me down, helping me think more clearly and giving me peace at the same time.–“It will be our first daughter, but at the same time, as a fruit of our love, another life would also be developing in a foreign womb. Who will be called Axel and you'll love him like your own. Then we'll have Benjamin, we think it would be the last one, however, Simon arrived and before getting lost in this world, I found out that we're expecting twins”-I concluded.Lucas and LeonShe murmurs–“That's how I want them to be called, our next children”-He added, moving away from me with a smile. A murmur grew louder, above the storm's noise, until I was able to perceive that they were calling me.–“Hey Tomás! Hey Tomás!”-they were screaming with desperation. Opening my eyes I realized I was at Isidora's house and delirating from the fever. She, seeing me awake, calmed down,Less bad, you woke upHe said putting a handkerchief on my head.IsidoraI said sitting on the bed, all sweaty, with agitated breathing and a cold body, remembering that everything turned black when I tried to kiss her. My torso was naked and she only wore a transparent camisole. By instinct, I touched my groin area and looked at myself, to check if I had my pants on and hadn't gone crazy.
Isidora: Don't worry, nothing happened between us.
She said, trying to help me lie down in bed.
Me: Didn't you kiss me? Really?
Isidora: No.
She responded sharply.
Isidora: You barely brushed against my lips when you fainted. You started delirating from fever and I've been taking care of you since then.
I perceived sincerity in Isidora's declaration, which was ironic to me, because that woman with whom I had differences in the past and only wanted to be screwed by me, didn't take advantage of my pitiful situation. When our eyes crossed again, I saw once more that she wasn't that merciless person who did so much harm, but the kind girl who was my neighbor.RestsI'm murmuring with concern. It was something I needed, but wouldn't do, because the anxiety continued to disturb me. Crying, I sought refuge in her, like a small child does in its mother.I don't want to lose her, I don't want to lose her, I don't want to lose her... Sniffexpress it once and again and again and again and again. While she was caressing my neck and telling me I wouldn't lose her, that April would be fine. I assumed between my deliriums, I confessed to her that April had cancer. I didn't know how much I'd cried that day, but definitely, that cry was the one with the most feelings, there were. I fell asleep in Isidora's arms, and when I woke up, she wasn't next to me anymore, she had gone to cook something for me.
With great effort, I managed to get up and walk to where she was. Isidora saw me and worried about me, but I told her to stay calm, that I had enough strength to take a bath. She trusted my word and went to get me a towel and some clothes, while I drank a glass of water. My mind stopped spinning and calmed down, finally I could reason clearly and make the best decisions, at least about April's matter.
I got into the shower and washed up, thinking about what I would tell my Princess, leaving lies behind and confronting everything all at once. After finishing my bath, I dried off and dressed, again the shirt fit me perfectly and its design was familiar to me. I asked Isi for my shoes, she said they were still wet, so she passed me some slippers, which helped me realize where I had seen the shirt I was wearing before.
Isidora invited me to sit down at the table to have breakfast, but I rejected her invitation, telling her I had something urgent to do. I only took an apple from her fruit basket.–‘Thomas... I know all this is weird, but... But, I hope you've checked that I'm another woman and can be my son's mother again'She told me before I left.I knowI replied and stood still in front of the door.–‘Sorry for having taken you away from him, I should have faced my father instead of taking it out on you’-Add it. I took a few seconds before taking the handle, to open the door, and before doing so, she hugged me.I should be the one apologizing for all the harm I caused. Since everything I received in return was just a result of my mistakes.she manifested, leaving me completely convinced that there was no longer any trace of her more perverse side.
I: We all make mistakes, Isi. For example, I didn't realize how you felt about me when it was very evident to everyone.
Isidora: Gr-gra-gra... Snif... Thank you... Tomás...
She stammered, letting out a sea of tears, and on one side I felt happy because I was resolving an issue that maybe I had put off for many years. Let Isidora cry as much as she wanted, once she had calmed down, I turned around, wiped away her tears, and gave her a kiss on the forehead.
I: Well, see you later, Isi.
Isidora: See you, neighbor boy.
Hearing those words made me feel nostalgia and happiness at the same time.
I: By the way, Isi. I won't ask or get involved in your relationship with Benjamin. However, I hope you don't have illusions because he has a girlfriend and it's likely that he'll end up marrying her.
Isidora: Eh? Be-Ben... What are you talking about, Tomás?
I expressed myself with a nervous little laugh that revealed she was lying.
I: Isi, there's no need to pretend. Last night you said you were giving piano lessons and one of your students had been taking you out of your depression. A redhead, thin, of my same height and piercing eyes. In that description is my son, curiously he's taking piano lessons.
She answered, noticing how she was left frozen with a lump in her throat.
I: But what confirms that he's your student were his T-shirts and sneakers. Did you think I wouldn't notice these clothes are from my son?
Isidora's face turned completely red.
I: Hey, calm down, like I said, I won't get involved, but don't have illusions.
That was the last thing I said before opening the door and leaving. As I opened the gate, I found myself face to face with Benjamin. My son stood there frozen, his face a poem.– 'Dad?' -Stutter with difficulty.What's up Benji? Is everything okay at home? How is your mother?were my questions, my son was completely disconcerted and at the same time, unable to speak clearly to me. Yet he managed to tell me that everything was fine at home and that April was preparing for my father's birthday.
Me: Truth. Dad is having a birthday, aren't you going to see him?
Benjamin: Yes... Of course I'll go, so-so... Only comes to see my piano teacher.
Me: Already see. By the way, you and she...
The face of my son turned red like a tomato and he was unable to formulate any words.
Me: Hey, my only advice is to talk to Jose. She must be aware, okay? Or have you already told her?
I consulted, noticing that my sister-in-law was hiding behind a tree about a meter away from him, but innocently showing her face.
Benjamin: No.
Me: Well then, good luck.
I pointed towards where she was, and Benjamin turned to look at her, his red face turning white, so pale it seemed like a ghost. I turned around and continued on my way, taking a bite of the apple. As I walked away, I could hear them murmuring, not arguing but dialoguing. I returned to where I had gone the night before to get my motorcycle. Putting on my helmet, I started up the engine, but before facing April, I was going to make a special stop.
I called Alexander and drove to his house; he was in his backyard smoking a cigarette when he saw me, and a smile formed on his face. Alex let me in and barely took one step before I asked him for a duel with kendo swords. It was a battle where I sought to be hit and feel good about myself. He realized it wasn't serious so the game ended soon after; afterwards, he asked what had brought me.
Me: I'm afraid of losing April and an endless number of emotions related to sadness are suffocating me and I don't feel capable of looking at her face.
Alexander: What?
Me: April has cancer, Alex. And I don't want to lose her. They echoed in Alexander, leaving me paralyzed for a moment before embracing me. Among all the people I know, only he gave me the confidence to talk about that topic and break down again. I had heard him say so many times from his own mouth, the pain of living day by day without the person you love, but it wasn't until that moment that I understood why he had immersed himself in violence for so long and was seeking his death.
After the conversation with Alexander, I felt prepared enough to go talk to April, no more excuses, I would see her face, confess my betrayal, and tell her I would be by her side even if she didn't want to see me. Because I wasn't going to leave her alone in this process. Before leaving, Bella arrived and noticed how the atmosphere became a bit uncomfortable. They were unable to look each other straight in the eye, despite being friends and living under the same roof, it was sure that something had happened, and my way of thanking Alexander was to create the right scene for them to solve their problems.
I would have liked to hear their conversation and know how they dealt with that tension. However, I had my own matters to attend to, so I took the motorcycle and went back home, when Vanessa called me.Where's Daddy?My daughter asked something altered because my cell phone had been off since the previous night after I left with low battery and just charged it during my stay at Alexander's house. I had an endless number of missed messages and calls from all my kids and April. Including Benjamin, who clearly expected me to return home after we met up at Isidora's house.-I came to see Alex, I needed to talk to him. But now I'm going home, sweetheart.-I answered, she as if it were my mother, started scolding me for not giving any sign of life and worrying everyone. I couldn't say anything in my defense, she was right to call me out and I felt proud that my girl had turned into a good woman.Excuse me, daughterI responded, Good dad, forget it. Just come to the cabins, we're going to start with the birthday of grandpa soon.She said, now calmer and in the background I managed to hear Simon, so I supposed that my Princess was already there with them.Okay, I'm comingI replied to him, after saying that, I hung up and got on the move. During the trip, I was thinking about my speech and the different scenarios I could face according to my wife's reaction.
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