This isn't a typical hot story, but rather the account of a search to deconstruct certain prejudices and the conclusions we arrived at.
It's become frequent in certain circles where I work due to my job that I hear some people complaining about how bad the world is, and they emphasize one idea: immorality
- Have you seen how girls dress today? What immorality!
- Have you seen those swinger couples? What immorality!
- Yesterday I saw two girls kissing in broad daylight! What immorality!
- I saw on TV that actress X has a fantasy of sleeping with another girl and her husband watching, what immorality!
- That's nothing, there was a football referee who invited a guy to sleep with his wife while he watched, now that's immorality!
The idea circulating is that one symptom of humanity's moral disintegration is the existing sexual flexibility, and as a counterpoint they emphasize that before roles were clear and defined, and decent people didn't do those things.
Well, respecting everyone's point of view even if I don't agree, I started reflecting and researching a bit on the topic. And I discovered that the Real Spanish Academy gives the word moralidad the following meaning:
Conformity of an action or doctrine with the precepts of morality.
Then I wondered what la moral is, and I found out that for the R.A.E. it has several meanings, including:
1. adj. Belonging or relating to human actions or characters from the point of view of goodness or wickedness.
3. adj. Not concerning the legal order, but rather the internal conscience or human respect. Although payment wasn't due, I had a moral obligation to do so
4. f. The science that deals with good in general and human actions in terms of their goodness or wickedness.
5. f. A set of spiritual faculties, as opposed to physical.
I already had a lead. relates 'moral' to 'goodness' and therefore 'immoral' to 'malice'. Well, what is 'malice' according to the R.A.E.?
The relevant meanings are:
malice.
(Del lat. malitĭa).
1. f. Solitary intention, usually malignant or pungent, with which something is said or done.
2. f. evil (quality of bad).
3. f. Inclination to the bad and contrary to virtue.
4. f. Sinister interpretation and malice, propensity to think badly.
5. f. Quality by which something becomes harmful and malignant.
It seems that if it is used as a contrast to 'goodness', then its antonym would be 'evil'. When searching for 'evil' in the R.A.E. Dictionary, I was returned:
maldad.
(Del lat. malĭtas, -ātis).
1. f. Quality of bad.
2. f. Bad and unjust action.
Then we have on one hand that the opposite of goodness/morality would be something unjust/immoral. On the other hand, the last search would be the meaning of 'bad', and for the Academy these three meanings were related to the investigation:
1. adj. Of negative value, lacking the qualities that can be attributed to it by its nature, function or destination.
2. adj. Harmful to health.
Well, then we have that the immoral is associated with something on one hand, unjust, and on the other, something that is contrary to its nature, function or destination, and harmful to health. At this point I wondered:
1) These people who consider 'immoral' (unjust) promiscuous behavior what will they think of infidelity in a couple? (I knew very well that men had had affairs and women had tolerated their husbands' affairs) Is it unjust to get together with your spouse, but is it just to cheat on them? It didn't seem very logical
2) These people who consider sharing the couple's adventures contrary to their nature, function or destination what do they understand that the nature, function or destination of the couple is? Just having children without more? Because if we approach it from there, human sexuality natural is the one of a man and a woman, but once we exceed what is merely reproductive, the possibilities that open up are infinite. ¿And from what point do we exceed what is merely reproductive? ¡From orgasm! What is the natural function of orgasm from the perspective of reproduction? In any case, orgasm has physiological functions of discharge, but it is not directly associated with reproduction. So nature itself seemed to contradict that argument.
I went back to the group where I had heard those criticisms and, putting on an innocent face, started asking them, first the men:
-What do you think about swingers?
-A disgusting bunch, all sick
-And what about infidelity?
-Eh, it's okay, everyone gets a little wild sometimes, besides it's natural to have desires...
-And then would you sleep with someone else in front of your wife, or let her sleep with someone else?
-YOU'RE CRAZY! THAT'S FOR DEGENERATES!
-But you said it's natural to have desires and get a little wild sometimes...
-THAT'S DIFFERENT, ONE THING IS DOING IT BEHIND HER BACK, BUT ANOTHER IS PUTTING HER IN IT, YOU HAVE TO TAKE CARE OF THE FAMILY
-Do you think she'd be hurt if she participates in something like that?
-MORE THAN MY WIFE IS A LADY, BESIDES THE LAST THING I'D RISK IS THAT SHE'D LIKE BEING WITH ANOTHER MAN OR WOMAN BETTER AND LEAVING ME
-And if you cheat on her, won't it hurt her?
-LOOK, IDIOT, I DON'T KNOW WHERE YOU'RE TRYING TO GET WITH ALL THESE FOOLISHNESS, SO LET'S TALK ABOUT FOOTBALL OK? I DON'T WANT TO BLOW IT UP IN YOUR FACE
Moving on to the women, I asked my wife to investigate since she knew them and they wouldn't tell me anything. The result was:
-What do you think about couples who swing?
-A disgusting bunch, total degeneration
-Why?
-How come? Do you think it's normal to sleep with another man while your husband is there, and see him sleep with another woman? It's like being a conscious mistress
-But if they do it by mutual agreement?
-Never, the love of the couple is sacred, if your man loves you he can't look at another another one, and if you love him... well, you can look, but not in front of him!
-Is it bad to do it, or is it just that he shouldn't find out?
-Ay nena, you have to take care of your partner, if a man sleeps with another woman, it's because he doesn't love you. Look, I went through the same thing with Roberto, once I caught him in an affair and made him bleed so much that he didn't want to sleep with any other woman again
Here Ana ended her chat... about a year ago, after having had too many drinks, she told me crying that she didn't know what to do with Roberto who couldn't get out of the bars and that she had discovered a ton of infidelities. She said Ana that it was impossible to keep talking to someone who lied so openly
The conclusions from all this were:
-People consider immoral sexual freedom, but they don't consider immoral deception and hypocrisy as supports for the couple
-What they find unacceptable is when your own partner allows these things, accepts the other and the other as sexual beings, and not with the idealistic it's just about me
-It's more fair and healthier and natural for the couple to be open to dialogue and trust and from there choose what to do, how to resolve desire (which is also natural). And if any couple resolves it through swinging or other forms of open sexuality, but based on honesty, it reduces the possibility of damage, in contrast to the damage caused by deception
-People who judge sexual freedom as immoral are actually denying their own sexuality and that's why they hide and conceal it
On the other hand, it seems clear that the concepts of good and bad related to purely sexual content are becoming detached:
-Making yourself come while watching your wife suck a stranger's cock can be good if it doesn't hurt anyone, even though the dominant prejudice judges it as immoral
-That same prejudice judges certain behaviors as morally valuable conducts that are clearly 'bad' such as war (justified for honor), bleeding entire towns mired in misery (justified as economic rationality) -It's lost sight of the fact that if there is no harm to oneself or another being, then there is no evil, or it's assumed that the type who enjoys watching his wife penetrated by another can't be well, what argument? It takes as reference its own machismo that says a woman is private property and justifies it with romanticism if he loves you, he can't do that -My personal conclusion from all this was that it's much more immoral to deceive and lie than to have fun sanely. And that when there is honesty and mutual respect, whether one chooses celibacy, monogamy or promiscuity, that path will always be more moral than the path of deceit and concealment. -The topic is open to contributions, experiences, and opinions
It's become frequent in certain circles where I work due to my job that I hear some people complaining about how bad the world is, and they emphasize one idea: immorality
- Have you seen how girls dress today? What immorality!
- Have you seen those swinger couples? What immorality!
- Yesterday I saw two girls kissing in broad daylight! What immorality!
- I saw on TV that actress X has a fantasy of sleeping with another girl and her husband watching, what immorality!
- That's nothing, there was a football referee who invited a guy to sleep with his wife while he watched, now that's immorality!
The idea circulating is that one symptom of humanity's moral disintegration is the existing sexual flexibility, and as a counterpoint they emphasize that before roles were clear and defined, and decent people didn't do those things.
Well, respecting everyone's point of view even if I don't agree, I started reflecting and researching a bit on the topic. And I discovered that the Real Spanish Academy gives the word moralidad the following meaning:
Conformity of an action or doctrine with the precepts of morality.
Then I wondered what la moral is, and I found out that for the R.A.E. it has several meanings, including:
1. adj. Belonging or relating to human actions or characters from the point of view of goodness or wickedness.
3. adj. Not concerning the legal order, but rather the internal conscience or human respect. Although payment wasn't due, I had a moral obligation to do so
4. f. The science that deals with good in general and human actions in terms of their goodness or wickedness.
5. f. A set of spiritual faculties, as opposed to physical.
I already had a lead. relates 'moral' to 'goodness' and therefore 'immoral' to 'malice'. Well, what is 'malice' according to the R.A.E.?
The relevant meanings are:
malice.
(Del lat. malitĭa).
1. f. Solitary intention, usually malignant or pungent, with which something is said or done.
2. f. evil (quality of bad).
3. f. Inclination to the bad and contrary to virtue.
4. f. Sinister interpretation and malice, propensity to think badly.
5. f. Quality by which something becomes harmful and malignant.
It seems that if it is used as a contrast to 'goodness', then its antonym would be 'evil'. When searching for 'evil' in the R.A.E. Dictionary, I was returned:
maldad.
(Del lat. malĭtas, -ātis).
1. f. Quality of bad.
2. f. Bad and unjust action.
Then we have on one hand that the opposite of goodness/morality would be something unjust/immoral. On the other hand, the last search would be the meaning of 'bad', and for the Academy these three meanings were related to the investigation:
1. adj. Of negative value, lacking the qualities that can be attributed to it by its nature, function or destination.
2. adj. Harmful to health.
Well, then we have that the immoral is associated with something on one hand, unjust, and on the other, something that is contrary to its nature, function or destination, and harmful to health. At this point I wondered:
1) These people who consider 'immoral' (unjust) promiscuous behavior what will they think of infidelity in a couple? (I knew very well that men had had affairs and women had tolerated their husbands' affairs) Is it unjust to get together with your spouse, but is it just to cheat on them? It didn't seem very logical
2) These people who consider sharing the couple's adventures contrary to their nature, function or destination what do they understand that the nature, function or destination of the couple is? Just having children without more? Because if we approach it from there, human sexuality natural is the one of a man and a woman, but once we exceed what is merely reproductive, the possibilities that open up are infinite. ¿And from what point do we exceed what is merely reproductive? ¡From orgasm! What is the natural function of orgasm from the perspective of reproduction? In any case, orgasm has physiological functions of discharge, but it is not directly associated with reproduction. So nature itself seemed to contradict that argument.
I went back to the group where I had heard those criticisms and, putting on an innocent face, started asking them, first the men:
-What do you think about swingers?
-A disgusting bunch, all sick
-And what about infidelity?
-Eh, it's okay, everyone gets a little wild sometimes, besides it's natural to have desires...
-And then would you sleep with someone else in front of your wife, or let her sleep with someone else?
-YOU'RE CRAZY! THAT'S FOR DEGENERATES!
-But you said it's natural to have desires and get a little wild sometimes...
-THAT'S DIFFERENT, ONE THING IS DOING IT BEHIND HER BACK, BUT ANOTHER IS PUTTING HER IN IT, YOU HAVE TO TAKE CARE OF THE FAMILY
-Do you think she'd be hurt if she participates in something like that?
-MORE THAN MY WIFE IS A LADY, BESIDES THE LAST THING I'D RISK IS THAT SHE'D LIKE BEING WITH ANOTHER MAN OR WOMAN BETTER AND LEAVING ME
-And if you cheat on her, won't it hurt her?
-LOOK, IDIOT, I DON'T KNOW WHERE YOU'RE TRYING TO GET WITH ALL THESE FOOLISHNESS, SO LET'S TALK ABOUT FOOTBALL OK? I DON'T WANT TO BLOW IT UP IN YOUR FACE
Moving on to the women, I asked my wife to investigate since she knew them and they wouldn't tell me anything. The result was:
-What do you think about couples who swing?
-A disgusting bunch, total degeneration
-Why?
-How come? Do you think it's normal to sleep with another man while your husband is there, and see him sleep with another woman? It's like being a conscious mistress
-But if they do it by mutual agreement?
-Never, the love of the couple is sacred, if your man loves you he can't look at another another one, and if you love him... well, you can look, but not in front of him!
-Is it bad to do it, or is it just that he shouldn't find out?
-Ay nena, you have to take care of your partner, if a man sleeps with another woman, it's because he doesn't love you. Look, I went through the same thing with Roberto, once I caught him in an affair and made him bleed so much that he didn't want to sleep with any other woman again
Here Ana ended her chat... about a year ago, after having had too many drinks, she told me crying that she didn't know what to do with Roberto who couldn't get out of the bars and that she had discovered a ton of infidelities. She said Ana that it was impossible to keep talking to someone who lied so openly
The conclusions from all this were:
-People consider immoral sexual freedom, but they don't consider immoral deception and hypocrisy as supports for the couple
-What they find unacceptable is when your own partner allows these things, accepts the other and the other as sexual beings, and not with the idealistic it's just about me
-It's more fair and healthier and natural for the couple to be open to dialogue and trust and from there choose what to do, how to resolve desire (which is also natural). And if any couple resolves it through swinging or other forms of open sexuality, but based on honesty, it reduces the possibility of damage, in contrast to the damage caused by deception
-People who judge sexual freedom as immoral are actually denying their own sexuality and that's why they hide and conceal it
On the other hand, it seems clear that the concepts of good and bad related to purely sexual content are becoming detached:
-Making yourself come while watching your wife suck a stranger's cock can be good if it doesn't hurt anyone, even though the dominant prejudice judges it as immoral
-That same prejudice judges certain behaviors as morally valuable conducts that are clearly 'bad' such as war (justified for honor), bleeding entire towns mired in misery (justified as economic rationality) -It's lost sight of the fact that if there is no harm to oneself or another being, then there is no evil, or it's assumed that the type who enjoys watching his wife penetrated by another can't be well, what argument? It takes as reference its own machismo that says a woman is private property and justifies it with romanticism if he loves you, he can't do that -My personal conclusion from all this was that it's much more immoral to deceive and lie than to have fun sanely. And that when there is honesty and mutual respect, whether one chooses celibacy, monogamy or promiscuity, that path will always be more moral than the path of deceit and concealment. -The topic is open to contributions, experiences, and opinions
12 comentários - Moralidad e inmoralidad
Personalmente creo que engañar a la pareja es lo peor que se puede hacer en una relación.
También soy de la opinión de que si es con conocimiento y consentido, todo está permitido y sólo es de incumbencia para las personas involucradas. Tanto para swingers, relaciones abiertas, etc...
Lo malo es actuar a espaldas del otro. Lo que deberías haber preguntado es <<si tan convencido estás de que engañar, echar una cana al aire, etc.. es "correcto" ¿por qué se lo ocultas a tu pareja?>>
Y como decía el quía de ahí arriba: todo es relativo y por eso a mi, en este ámbito de lujuria, sexo y quilombo, este concienzudo post me parece absolutamente inmoral.
Gracias por compartir
Yo comenté tu post, la mejor manera de agradecer es comentando alguno de los míos...