Telo Incómodo [Obra Completa]


CONFESSIONS OF SMALL HEROES FROM DIFFERENT WORLDS


Telo Incómodo [Obra Completa]


- What was I doing with that woman? Because she reminds me of you. In fact, she reminds me of you more than you do.


GROUCHO MARX


FRIENDS THIS IS THE COMPLETE WORK, WITH ADDED DATA AND NEW LOOK OF MY DELIRIUMS ABOUT AMBULATORY SEX, A KISS TO ALL AND DON'T LOSE HOPE THAT NEXT COME THE DEDICATED, FROM MY POINT OF VIEW...HUG OF SOULS




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SUPPORTS THIS SPACE OF RUBBING: THE GUY CALLED HOTEL.[/swf]
hotel



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We already know from the start that entering a hotel (from now on referred to as Temple of Fuck, Hotel, Panteon of Lust and others) can be complicated in certain situations, and this also depends on who our adventure companion is. One thing is going with our stable partner, years of relationship, you know what they think about those places, etc., and another very different thing is going with someone we met online, let's go to a simple example:

ColitaGolosa says: mmmmm I don't know, do you think it's okay if we meet at the door like that? We don't know each other...

Erecting Elephants says: See, what matters is that we have a desire...it's just for pleasure, baby!

ColitaGolosa says: I don't know...we last met on the corner and saw how it was...if there's skin

Erecting Elephants says: Come on, come on... everything's fine at 22?

Obviously, the male subject is sure that when they meet at the door or on the corner, they will end up undressed, and she'll shout Siiiiiiii, papi...hold ICQ!

But many different things can happen in the moment of the final encounter, so let's go to possible endings:

1- The cutie arrives late on purpose, sees him from afar, calls to confirm that the gnome waiting for her is really the apparent Sex Symbol with whom she was chatting...confirms it and decides to go back home to watch Sex & the City reruns, leaving the poor guy standing alone.

2- The guy, confident in himself and with a gallant pose, waits smoking a cigarette and when he sees her coming, his ass is filled with questions...But did I say she was a ballerina? When did she stop dancing? What's going on? Obviously, when she told him she had a few extra kilos, he thought something else, blinded by his desire for sex at any price.

3- They meet, finally enter, but once inside, neither of them is the person they pretended to be in the chat window...after a while, she didn't want to turn off the lights and he made no effort to get closer, they're talking about each other's exes, every now and then they look at the clock, the three hours of the shift turned out to be worse than a high-quality worm mating documentary and when the blessed phone rings and they fight over who gets to answer it so that someone blessed can finally say they're leaving...at that moment they experience what it was like to touch each other. Very sad.

Another interesting thing is the moment of asking for a room and paying at the entrance window. Usually, it's the man and woman who do this, with something of shame staying a few steps back, as if the guy collecting from his partner didn't know that in a few minutes he'll be balls-deep and who knows, tied up or with their eyes blindfolded...she thinks everyone believes she's a virgin, thin...buy a life, you're in a hotel, not a santeria.

Security is vital, it's a moment that doesn't admit errors and it's best to go to a place where you know the prices, rooms, types of rooms, services, and of course, the duration of the shifts. Never, under any circumstances and especially with someone you're meeting for the first time, make the mistake of not knowing how to handle this topic...

Let's see a possible situation regarding this:

- Yes, that's fine? A room please...
- Tarjeta Erógena?
- Eh? No thanks, just a room
- Do you have Egyptian, softcore, Sado, Ejecutive, Solarium, Caribe, Tango, Kamasutra, Sillon Erotico or Reiki?
- Can I have one, please... (Two more couples had already entered and your girl was getting impatient)
- You can stay overnight starting from 22:00 (It was 21:50)
- No, that's fine, just the room
- He didn't tell me what he wants, sir
- Eh...softcore, give me that softcore...
- With the promotion and paying an additional $10, you get a drink of your choice for two
- How much is it?
- It would be $150
- How? Uhhh can I pay with debit?
- We have suspended credit card services for now, there's a sign outside.
- Well... In all the rest) Another annoying topic in matters of fuck ambulatory without doubts is the intimacy that the place offers us...from entering and no one seeing us (sometimes you never know who might see us enter or who we might see leave) until finding a room that's not so permeable to sounds...more than one has had this happen, and if it hasn't happened to them yet, it will, because always...ALWAYS...in the room next door it seems like they're filming a porn movie by how those sons of sluts scream ...and you went in thinking you'd have a good time with your chick and your head is stuck on the other side of the wall and finally you decide....ahhhh everything goes to hell, finish them off first...we'll listen while watching TV! And that's your first experience with impotence face-to-face...and don't let it happen to you like it did to me, when leaving a shift those sons of sluts who were screaming had at least...50 years each...Sad, very sad.

Sometimes, surely you've experienced asking for some service...food, drink, or whatever...and someone, very intelligent, invents those damn windows on the doors with a kind of blind that I never learned to use in my life. I remember the first time I asked for a miserable toast because we were starving...they rang the door and the guy who answered was about to open it like he was expecting the diarrhea collector to come collect the newspapers from Sunday morning...of course, after thinking for two seconds and realizing they'd been caught with their pants down said...no, no, this must be the magic window...then I opened the blind and voila! The toast was there...I don't know who made it with what hands...but it was there and that wasn't the problem...the issue was grabbing the toast...and paying the person on the other side who had brought it to me. Find some cash, deposit the money in the magic box, close the window, wait a few seconds, open it again, and the money would still be there...BUT THE slut mother who the hell is sending me to eat in a hotel that almost killed me!! After several attempts...and seeing no one pick up the money, I called the concierge and the very son of slut told me... 'It's paid at the exit' Thing that made me sick with anger and lost at least 15 minutes standing there trying to decipher that damn curtain. Sad, very sad.

The last thing I wanted to mention and not because it's any less important are those nights when you fall asleep in a hotel with the idea of spending the night, whether with a couple (in this case it wouldn't be so complicated) or maybe a trap or someone passing by and after the first full-on sex, one of the two falls asleep like a morsel and leaves the other searching for Wally on the humidity of the walls. I'm not saying that always happens, but it's ugly when it happens to you and you wake up at 7 am with your alarm clock ringing because you have it set to start work and you have a pillow full of slobber, decide... 'No, by God, this is not happening, tell me it's not true' and you turn over and your partner is lying there with her teeth out of her mouth, face like Pitbull about to kill a Pekingese and frantically zapping the TV. Or vice versa... when you're the one who stays awake and spend hours debating whether you're too much for that poor woman, if on the contrary, you mean so little that you don't even warrant staying awake for you, if she's really asleep or making up (in this case I recommend holding a lit match near her face, if she responds it means she's making up, if not... well start thinking that maybe she's not just asleep but on the other side and that would be a serious problem) or if in one of those cases she's waiting for something from you and you're thinking she's asleep so you put on the replay of the Final of the Reduced Championship to Promote to C between Juventud Unida and Victoriano Arenas.

Believe me, it can happen! Enough old verse, I'm talking to you crazy... if yes, to you who is taking a very quiet coffee in a relaxed environment and already the whisper of I feel like reconnecting with you, this has never happened to me before doesn't give you more and grabbing her hand wanting to chant a kiss you say your typical phrase...don't you want to go to a more comfortable place? And clearly... she looks at you like she should look at you, no longer 11 years old, already understands that you've had an erection for a good while and that's why you're holding it in so as not to go to the bathroom and have her see that you're a pervert... And believe me if I tell you that from the moment you told her to meet at that place she knew she was going to shave everything because not only did you go to the hotel around the corner, but she also has a past and yes, I recognize it and you're right if you say but for...she's also a pervert and it's okay but the one who will always be left as a masturbator is you, it's time you knew. You think she was having fun in that candy store full of old men at 10 pm while you were telling her about how you got promoted recently? That now instead of decoding encounter data for a consulting firm you're in charge of corporate logistics? (not to mention that you group data in Excel and save changes, it's more impressive, I understand) Her thinking was probably Uhhh this dude doesn't get it...flaccid that starts coming on me right now doesn't understand? And you told her your life story to a cutie who not only had gone all the way but also had a sleeveless shirt that said BITCH and once inside the hotel she took off her pants and in the darkness saw that the thong said in fluorescent INSERT COIN. The account is simple...you lost time thinking that with a coffee she would be into you, draw conclusions man, you told her your life story, you told her that your grandmother must be one of the few elderly women who doesn't put her dentures in a glass of water when she goes to sleep, clearly you said... sketching a smile and feeling like the grandson of a fat woman, she has a Tupperware to her measure for the few teeth that are left. At the same moment when you thought you were winning, you saw her grab your cell? I sent two messages, one to her friend saying I think it's not meat tonight and the other and more annoying to her ex You look nice, where are you? Even without having anything with her, she could have put you in virtual horns. Everything you think in those moments and as the advertisement says they can smell it, they can even feel like you were wanking watching gymnastics programs on Utilisima or worse still that you would finish yourself off under the sheets out of fear that you wouldn't make it to the bathroom and stain the wall...I'll pass, I know, but stay calm, your secret is safe with me...

The failed one is that despicable being, with wide pants and patches sewn on by his mom, who knows how many times, possibly with a marathon T-shirt he never wore, could also have glasses and a prominent beard that he doesn't shave yet because he doesn't know how to do it and has panic attacks from clippers. That elf lives connected 24 hours a day, can kill his mother if the old lady unplugs him from the PC to clean behind his desk, but the poor old lady isn't to blame, she just finds it disgusting that there are numerous species of spiders and small yuyos growing in his room that he never notices they're there. In his room, there are numerous rigid discs scattered where he keeps his life, a poster of Bill Gates, a dry semen stain under his keyboard, manga magazines also finished by him, and all kinds of electronic elements, which are his only communication with the outside world...when he goes to buy them.

But once this loser opened a door, in one of those networks where he meets girls to wank...let's go to the chat properly... sos? Altacoconlapaja: Xd jajaja HotFelicitas: De que te reis? Altacoconlapaja: De nada, soy de Flores HotFelicitas: Que buenis...yo de Caballito, estamos re cerca, sos soltero? Que buscas? Altacoconlapaja: No se donde es Caballito, si vos decidís que estamos cerca..te creo! No tengo nada y busco una masturabation online HotFelicitas: Buenisimo....no te va algo real? Altacoconlapaja: Me siento mejor acogotandome la gallina realmente HotFelicitas: Si te paso una foto mia me pasas una tuya y vemos si da para algo? Altacoconlapaja: XD dale HotFelicitas: Ahi te la pase, pasame una tuya Altacoconlapaja: Estás para metertela hasta el esfínter hija de puta HotFelicitas: Ay gracias...pero porque me pasaste una foto donde tu mascota te está lamiendo dulce de cum de tu cock? Altacoconlapaja: Xd bue...era la única que tenia a mano HotFelicitas: No importa..igual me gusta..me das? Altacoconlapaja: ¿Qué quieres que te dé? HotFelicitas: Cock Altacoconlapaja: Xd HotFelicitas: Sos boludo vos? Altacoconlapaja: No, por qué? HotFelicitas: Si quieres nos encontramos, estamos cerca, y vamos a un hotel, sin compromiso, solamente sexo. Altacoconlapaja: No tengo plata HotFelicitas: Pago yo Altacoconlapaja: Para mí que sos un traidor HotFelicitas appears now as disconnected Photo of a sausage dog: no relation to the post... none.[/swf]
Lighter



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Fantasy in the Jacuzzi or Belgrano's Waterfalls?[/swf]
Certain time, a Thursday night, we went with my then-girlfriend to a hotel located a few blocks from the Barrancas de Belgrano train station... happy to be able to enjoy a night for ourselves that didn't have much space in our respective habitats, we decided to spend the night together. Avoiding any topic that could generate stupid fights and ruin the night, we were killing time like animals, it had already been two weeks since we last saw God's face, so we were two infants with newly bought pacifiers from Disney, really emotional that moment of lust and animal sex. But well, it's not the topic in question.... at a certain point in the middle of the night, she heads towards the bathroom and I stay, as explicitly requested by her, waiting for her on the bed. A few minutes later, I start to hear the faint sound caused by the water falling from the faucets and without a doubt, I imagine it, the little pig wanted to do it, like mollusks in heat, under the water... and without her telling me anything, I headed towards there. When I turned around the wall that was blocking the scene, I found an unhappy image... she was inside the hot tub completely soaked and ashamed of what was happening and clearly it wasn't for nothing... when I saw such an image, I burst out laughing like a Tonto and Retondo, collapsing on the floor because I couldn't contain the stomach pain that had been provoked. She, even submerged in an inundation of those... (the hotel was at serious risk of evacuation) started insulting me in all languages, hoping I would help her clean up the mess she had made. The thing was that the very intelligent one opened all the faucets, got inside and wanted to sit on top of the largest faucet to stimulate herself and at that moment, call me and fulfill our fantasy... but it all went wrong, when she sat on the faucet and started to wet herself, she broke the faucet and the water started coming out like a water dance game at Costa Park. The problem got even worse when I tried to help stop the water by entering the hot tub and slipped and got a tremendous hit on my hip...resulting in us closing the water valve fearing someone would come and tell us something and sitting inside the hot tub and room called Tango Afrodisiaco...it ended up being a fuck Subfluvial for us.[/swf]
Juancito's Pullover[/swf]
Juanito was always ahead of the game in every aspect of life and especially developed earlier than his friends. In high school, he was known by nicknames like Perro Cocker, Felpudo, Tío cosa and other playful insults that bothered him a lot but as always happens, the more it annoyed him, the more we called him so. It gave us warmth to see him without a shirt because it seemed like the son of my slut had a bear hugging him full-time with his body hair, nor did we want to imagine what was going on in that woman's head when she had carnal relations with that ball of hair (with love...).

It was then that Marisol, one of those fast girls who exist in every school clique and who, just because she had sucked a cock once, dared to have sex with our dear Juan. After the deed, she told us how it went down and I'll never forget the expressions and luxurious details she shared. When it came time to take off their clothes, Marisol told us that Juancito turned off all the lights in the hotel room, leaving us not only in darkness but also blind, without a single slut light or shadow visible. Amazed and unaccustomed to this way of having sex almost without seeing the other person, our friend followed Juancito's lead, who was obviously ashamed of his qualities and didn't want to be laughed at. Palming each other by the bed and with occasional growls...they started taking off their clothes for each other and discovering...and here, my friends, is where Marisol's nightmare began...

She never could determine with her hands the beginning and end of her extremities...she even told us that when she finally erased the image of a Yeti she had while starting to touch it and went down to suck it, she felt like she was putting his dreadlocks in her mouth. Bob Marley...and so he was detailing each moment before our astonishment. A difficult moment was when he had to get on top of her and felt like she was sitting on the grass. After 30 minutes in a turn that should have lasted 3 hours, we both tacitly ended the encounter by mutual agreement. She couldn't cum. She had depilated herself for the occasion. And poor Juan who didn't even get to see the lace set she had bought for him, nor did he shave.[/swf]
Neither gives...Ask for two cut-offs[/swf]
I once had to meet a girl I knew from the internet...I've said that these kinds of encounters can lead to an infinite number of situations...but that time at least we managed to get in without prior arrangement at the hotel. Her name was Belen, she was 21 years old, and we were the same age, and we got along well for a few months but couldn't manage to make it real. We agreed to meet up and go in one, since everything we had done beforehand was via chat, mail, photos or whatever. Obviously both of us had problems relating to people in real life...hahaha but good, we ended up meeting. The idea was to take things to bed that we said to each other and nothing more, no feelings, no mixing things up...she suggested doing it in the afternoon, suggested a place I didn't oppose and we agreed to meet on Monday at 6pm. On that day, I arrived at the agreed-upon location, saw her smoking from the bus, looking nervous...walked half a block from the stop to that corner and finally we saw each other..we already knew how it was but that mystical feeling of skin-to-skin contact had not yet been experienced. With a kiss on the cheek, we greeted each other and both turned around and started walking towards the hotel she had chosen in Palermo, on Godoy Cruz Street. We entered, like a gentleman who rarely surprises me to treat her like a lady, paid for the room and went up to the 2nd floor. Finally, we entered our four walls of what seemed like the best sex of our pathetic lives and already from the entrance a cold wind ran through the atmosphere and she had taken distance, positioning herself on the opposite corner from where I was, without saying a word and with her purse still hanging from her right shoulder. I started making bad jokes to at least get her to say 'shut up' or take off my clothes...but NOTHING. I started talking about the ambiance of the place, and she nodded or simply negated with a sign... Eyes closed and a sort of grimace when something didn't please her...and I was still in the same position. Definitely she was already driving me crazy with her quietness, so I got up from my side of the bed, let's say, and started to turn off the lights to see how she liked it and that's when a beautiful evening began...she said...'Nooooo, don't turn them off...leave them all on' or maybe I didn't understand anything or I was taking myself too seriously, think, left everything on and what was supposed to be a comfortable and secure fuck environment seemed like my living room and to top it off she grabbed the TV remote, sat down with her purse still on and put on The Simpsons...everything was fine with the series, I've been watching it since I can remember but....flat, half-empty!!!! At this point I still hadn't said anything about the almost 20 minutes we'd spent without touching or talking and that's what made us get a little closer to the monitor. Lying on the bed and already with the cock at caramel point, she was still channel surfing and there wasn't much conversation and the craziest thing was that she wasn't saying anything...if only she hadn't worn that tight jean that was giving her away so tightly I had it or that low-cut shirt that left me seeing her enormous breasts...everything was fine but no, the skinny one got dressed like a slut and was watching TV. At one point I leaned in to touch her leg and directly a little more I tried to be a violator...I wanted to cut off my balls with an Oreo and couldn't understand how different it was to talk to her behind a monitor and face-to-face...I thought maybe I personally hadn't pleased her but luckily she told me everything was fine and by relaxing a bit and turning off the TV, I finished telling the whole story...she said she wasn't feeling well but didn't want to miss the opportunity to spend some time together with me. Instead of being understanding and good Samaritan, I wanted to put the cock in a vice and punish myself for being an idiot. I told her everything was fine but that there had been... places called confiterias, where you order a coffee and can chat and don't incite to make jokes...(oh, if I knew, many like exhibitionism...it wasn't the case of perverted minds) and he says good if you want I'll suck it but we can't fuck and there I started seeing the cute girl I had been warming up towards for months...but no, running the risk of losing the only chance to fuck with that sexy girl I understood, I gave her a kiss on the forehead and told her....not everything is fine...but if you want I can do the Booty and she ended up showing me what I thought...that it was really a hot cock....Don't bother...better ask for two cortados... Grabbed the phone, I wanted to call Batman to his red phone and have him rescue me but no, the same guy who had charged me a little while ago and winked at me like saying ...what a little one eh...how are you going to fuck....and I said man....send me two cortados and when it cuts off forget to tell him to send Oreos for me to cut my cock. GOL DE DALMINE IN HD[/swf]



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Lacto-Vegetarian[/swf]
It's a recurring theme in the masculine imaginary pig's power to cum in the woman's mouth... but not all have that luck, it doesn't happen to everyone, we don't all get that deep throat thirsty for homemade juice that screams at us to fill it up as much as possible so we can look at ourselves and get sick of sexual cannibalism, but also the fruit of the scene is that she swallows it... That's a pleasure for the chosen ones, that's why dear friend, if you have one like this who doesn't come before the terminal and when she comes only rings the bell and greets you, asking you to help her come down, be careful with her, take care of her like that album of figurines from Italy 90 that you filled by sticking Abel Balbo's sticker, take care of her like the joystick on the Play console you play best... Take care of her brother, do it for all of us who have gone through this...

Analía, 23 years old, brunette, good body, bad intentions and the best attitude... We met through a friend on one of those nights when you drink so much that you wake up eating hamburgers and suddenly see the sun that ruins your vampire eyes and you decide... oh what a crazy guy it's day already and you give another bite. We chatted... we agreed to meet up for sex, we found each other, the cute girl was on time and in form, everything perfect. The very slut agreed to my request and came with white stockings that marked her beautiful chest and a grey pilot, my request was logically the pilot, I'm a fan of Inspector Gadget and didn't waste the opportunity when she asked me what she should wear for that day, piloting style. I calculated it was her idea, really didn't tell me, doesn't matter much to me, the pilot looked great on the daughter of slut. We entered the temple, I did the honors of recognizing the territory while she roughly and impolitely threw the pilot over a chair and jumped on top of me, calculating that was a very direct indirect from the style I'm very hot, don't ask me what's going on. How was I at work? Ask me where you want to put it first! Access, let's start touching each other wildly like dogs on Plaza Las Heras for everyone to see, really very passionate and zero commitment to anything. I'm not sure if she was committed or not, now I'm starting to ask myself many things. She started sucking me off from below, it seemed like a baby with one of those bubble gum pacifiers that were addictive...she wouldn't take it out of her mouth, she was holding onto my back to keep it all inside, and in my mind I thought...this nymphomaniac is going to waste me!! She kept going and going, practicing different forms with her mouth and hands until at one point I saw myself exploding, seeing her finish me off in a disgusting way...and just at that moment when I felt like talking to her and asking her wanting and desiring her to say...yes, pussy, invent a Mastellone Hnos in my mouth...the crazy woman leaves everything, steps back and says...Oh noooo, it's gross, you're a jerk...no, that doesn't appeal to me, I feel like vomiting...My face was totally recognizable as Diego Peretti from You're not you, I'm me, I stayed on Pampa and the Way...with the matter unfinished and the cutie who had been violated by herself with a deodorant and a microphone over chat for me to see her on camera saying she didn't want it. Not only did I want to strangle her with my cock at the cry of Eat it, babe!! But after that moment when I admitted I felt like crap, even though we had sex a lot later, I was still thinking about it. If I don't tell you now, it's going to happen to you too!![/swf]
A somewhat fucked 69[/swf]
Mabel was immense, her bodily mass attacking my humanity full-on, and I think I'm running short, let's close her initial description by saying that to my sight her flesh was colossal, even protruding from her clothes, my old man would say...if that fat chick lets one rip, we'll set up a soda factory and go on TV. Well, I always understood that to have experiences you had to experiment, so I did it, she knew me from the Faculty, hello and goodbye and some trivial chat about music, but we never got beyond that, she listened to cumbia and I tried to tell her how I'd done at an O'Connor recital...it was then when I wondered if that wasn't the name of one of the Thundercats and I didn't know whether to feel bad because as a kid I hadn't had TV in my house or think about telling her the story of those beautiful drawings and maybe make her give me a blow job between mates. I wanted to sleep with this beast...I don't know why but I felt like things could get wild.

(Ooh...from good to jerk there's a thin line...some people don't see it but I, who wear glasses, see it double...I just wanted the experience...I didn't see a future or anything, well if...admit that at one point I saw myself fat sitting at a long table full of pigs, our kids clear...well end of imagination)

One thing led to another and on Thursday after leaving the Faculty we went walking to take bus 44 to Belgrano, we were chatting and I started shooting my mouth off...I told her I didn't want to go home alone because the night was made for more than this and that and until my jeans size 94 fit like a glove! Those things you say without sense, the other person knows it's not sincere but also knows where the one saying it wants to get to...Mabel has what I have in abundance, innocence, and she followed the game, already halfway through the trip started the complicit giggles, indirects...the don't tell me that or we'll end badly those lips are screaming for meat and weird things of the moment. In a moment I was almost arriving at Cabildo and let out the phrase that indicated I wanted to be ridden... I'm telling you the truth... as long as the night is good, it doesn't matter where or when... Perfectly said by me...I caught the mammoth now I have to deal with it and this, even if it's literal, gave me something weird...We had at least 25 kilos of difference, to her advantage clearly. We went down and I told her the phrase I hear every Monday on Perros de la Calle...Is that enough? Half in joke half serious...it started to laugh and whether it laughed or not but it was late and well let's pass the night and well let's go and see what's up. We looked for a hotel around here, you know I arrived at that room without even giving her a kiss, without even knowing if she was in a relationship, without knowing what she had eaten (fucked if I didn't mix mates and yogurt an hour before...you understand?) We went in and Mabel, the immense one, became an uncontrollable nymphomaniac...it seemed like she had never come from the daughter of a slut, something crazy, groaning with that agitated breathing, probably with the same she devoured Cubanitos when she was little. And after the topic of kisses and total nudity came the most hilarious moment of my life in a hotel...Let's do 69 she said and I laughing on the inside said...more than 69 with you I'll do a 479...but finally I agreed to an unprecedented anal torture...she happy turned around and prepared to suck me off with her voluptuous ass resting on my face...at first I thought it was a meat airbag, then when I told myself boludo stop laughing and put your hands together my hands didn't reach to encircle it to open it up and start sucking it normally would have done, so I felt like a cripple and about to be asphyxiated by that similar ass...she happy kept sucking me off and started moving her Booty from side to side and I still couldn't find anything to suck her...it was impossible, it was finding a needle in a haystack. Her two buttocks boxed me The going and coming and every time I feared more for my life until I said this can't be crazy...and started to sink into what I had ahead of me...I was literally doing acoustic in her ass...started licking the hairy one like a puppy while laughing at myself and she was about to make me cum in her mouth...until suddenly the worst happened...what my old man would have said, what no one wants to happen to them...she gasped loudly in my face, I felt like that little wind was combing my hair, I felt a hint of noodles with garlic and onion, I really felt what it's like when someone farts in your face, she...totally out of it, almost didn't even notice while I put on a baby face saying they say if you don't eat the soup, the boogeyman will come to make you eat it...well, I put on a 'the boogeyman is here and he's farting in my face' face. Finally, when all this act of numbers ended, she politely asked me to go to the bathroom as if nothing had happened...dale....I know you farted, heart, things are what they are! I said it, grabbed my phone and sent a message to my ex...'You don't know how much I miss those things we used to do, now I understand why you used to say we fit well...forgive me!'

It's known, something inherent to the Pirate. Never, under any circumstances, should the body on the way back home show signs or remnants of having committed this type of actions, no scratches, blowjobs, punches, bites and all types of animal activity that directly guide our partner to the already epic phrase...'You were with someone, you're not going to lie to me...'. Neither is it admitted and at the right moment one should indoctrinate the occasional fuck partner to leave no trace of their humanity in the belongings of Pirate's friend...Nothing of grabbing my phone to see what games I have (buy a Gameboy and don't break my balls)...nothing of ripping off my clothes (I'm flabby, I have to go home, if you wanted animal sex, bring Arnulfo, my '. Great Danes and I would look at them)...nothing of getting in without a condom (don't see the TV, kitty? you have to take care...we don't want to end up like the Chinese, all on bicycles and having a child from so many people who didn't have TV and dedicated themselves to making more Chinese...no no no, I'm not a condom but I'll put it on) and much less anything that you get caught in love and want me to send 87 messages during the day telling me when we'll see each other again! (pretend I'm Jack Bauer and only call me when your bomb is about to explode and the world is at risk...I have you scheduled as Carlos Electrician and if the witch sees that a type who fixes cables and lights sends me texts saying he misses me and can't wait to fuck with me, my house might stick to the International Plan of Solar Energy Houses. Another great feat of Pirate without a doubt are all the gadgets he feeds on to evade the iron control exercised by his activities over the woman he committed to when he didn't understand anything about life...now that he's tried the sweet of what's forbidden he sees himself at a crossroads, starting to invent football games, reunions with former classmates, work dinners, lightning trips and of course...the already classic I'm working more hours because the money doesn't reach us fat or maybe...This damn cell phone...I'll throw it away...how won't I want to answer you? What are you saying my love? Pirate isn't just that, Pirate has everything planned out...from when he's going to tell his wife...he also manages possible questions she might ask him and for that he has various responses..let's go then to this example: Pirate Alert: Fat, I'm going to play with the guys, I'll be late (Midland shirt on and Handbag in hand) Inquisitorial Female: I didn't know you were leaving, I thought we were having dinner together...since when do you play on Mondays so late? Pirate Response: I told you yesterday my love (LIE) The hour by my side that I leave work late can't tell you that no... Second Female Inquisition: At the end, I always stay alone... didn't they play last Thursday? Pirate's Closing: Yes! We have three more games in the zone, then if we pass we'll enter the winner's round but we have to see the goal difference of the other teams... it's a topic... well, I'll be back in a couple of hours... Female Closing: (Not knowing what the goal difference is and even less thinking about it while playing a tournament because she doesn't want her man to think she's not paying attention... she leaves him free) And like this, many examples... The Pirate knows he has at most two hours to change in the car, arrive at the meeting point, enjoy some good time and come back safe... unless the woman is already asleep, so he can use the house environments... let out a fart as a symbol of trust and talk only from afar with phrases like What a day today... for God's sake... I didn't see the hour to go to bed with you... are you awake love? If she answers, the game continues... if not, devour what's cold in the fridge while watching Seinfeld episodes, turn off the light and if I've seen you, I don't remember! Fundamental, before sleeping, discriminate possible smells, perfumes, etc. and go to bed clean and without signs of trap

As for communications and technologies that overwhelm us today with advances, the Pirate can't be oblivious to those changes and even less so in his usual shooting grounds like Facebook, Msn, and other resorts of ambulatory sex search. For the Pirate, bad words are History, Received Archives, and any female contact that adds him as a friend without knowing her. He doesn't have a public profile on any network... he doesn't like being searched, he likes finding. His email box if it's only one has a folder called The love of my life where he keeps all the received emails from his woman... except for that and the summaries of card eliminates everything else, no matter how many emails from your mother or brothers who live abroad there are. And talking about cards...NEVER pay anything with plastic...all cash, to avoid your wife finding out that on a Wednesday morning you have a debt of $150 for a reason called HOTEL ENCANTOS SRL or similar.

The most common thing is to have a pirate mail...let's see this topic...if your normal and well-known mailbox by everyone around you is: arnaldo_echegoyen80@telesur.com, the other account is probably: capitanfiesta@correocaliente.com but for this you must take special care to only open your pirate mail in places where no traces of any kind are left...and if possible never on the same computer. The cell phone beyond having two or three possible traps with fake names has to be clean, nothing rare videos, no photos and less configure the emails to receive them there...always delete messages, calls and everything that's a sign of something turbid. If someone wants to grab your cell phone while you're in a trap, they'll tell you that with this, the old lady's videos, the mooncake at the café with cum and the onion rings won't be messed up, but they'll say it with the same face Rambo would say This is my war so that on the other side the response is All good, didn't think it was for so much And done.

As for the phones...the pirate hardly repeats the same one, because of codes always being away from home...he doesn't want to run the risk of being seen by anyone but when choosing this matter he takes into account the time it takes to travel from and to his house, to have everything under control. The cell phone never goes out, if someone calls you answer if you can, absolutely disguising the situation unless they're doing the human parabolic and the 69 transforms into a new amorous pose with the phone stuck in some orifice.[/swf]
Burned, in a literal sense[/swf]
The crazy woman told me...'Stay calm, I've got everything, no drama, and it surprised me that you'd say that but I'm like that too and I love those things...we're going to have a great time.' Okay...I had only said that if she wanted to fulfill some fantasy, dress up in something, or let me do something to her, or totally healthy things without being afraid of it and that I would do them all with a thousand loves...she was obviously completely out of her mind. The move led me to her apartment in Barrio Norte on Saturday night after midnight, I rang the doorbell and announced myself...she responded by telling me she was watching me from her TV as I stood at the entrance of the building...already I got scared...I said 'Uhhhh this crazy woman is flashing with The Truman Show and has cameras everywhere, look if my old lady sees me!!!' and things like that. Later she explained to me that since I'm poor I didn't know that many places have that system to see who's at the door. She said poor, yes. I took the elevator and went up to the 11th floor, arrived and was waiting for me with the door open...from inside I heard...'Come on in...I've been waiting for you...' and when I got in I finished scaring myself off. The scene, how do I say it...was at least bizarre...a minimalist living room, practically no furniture, some cushions in the center, candles everywhere, a smell of chocolate incense that really made me high all night and left me totally wasted, a poster of Janis Joplin on one end and an acrylic painting of a naked woman without a face on the other. She told me before anything that she was going to put some music on...I said great, let's put on some rock 'n' roll and she just painted the fuck here...NO, she put on music from her Reiki classes that her teacher with a rare name had recommended and as soon as it started I began to feel the sound of birds singing and a waterfall, flashy that Santaolalla was going to do the choruses for Mañanas Campestres but I didn't even get that chance....everything was set up according to her for a long night of tantric sex a little high on Tone. I seemed like a provincial who comes to Capital and they tell you, take the subway in Tribunals, make a change with C, arrive at Retiro and there you take the train...or so I didn't understand a thing, I'm more simple, but admit that everything interested me until that moment. I wondered if he wanted something to eat, he said there were things to eat in the fridge and told me wait for him to change and come back. I sat on the cushions and waited...for 10 minutes it appeared...and she said...So you wanted sex all night? Well...let's see if you can handle it And the cutie let me see her...a red candle lit in her right hand, black lace underwear, a black leather belt with studs and in the other hand what was what made me crap on top, a blowtorch. I put those things aside and she started undressing me...I was telling myself to relax, that everything was fine and like totally naked I found myself lying on my back looking at the ceiling on a Hindu cushion, listening to the same birds and with this crazy woman who seemed the most coped but I didn't forget I had a blowtorch. In seconds, images of burned people, fire, lots of fire flashed through my mind and I was scared of having a reserved turn at the Burn Hospital and not having realized it yet. Then she started licking me and with the candle burning me slowly on the chest, legs, to be honest, I didn't like anything anymore, feeling like a saint's stamp didn't get me hot, what got me hot was the slut candle and the slut if you burned! And she enjoyed it like crazy, felt pleasure in making me do it, all this hadn't even touched my tit yet. My already flaca, let's watch TV if you want, but I don't want to be burned, please, I'll call my mom face was notable. And in my mind the blowtorch was still there, thinking of burning myself with that or something worse? For the first time I felt imaginarily violated and without her doing it. I thought about send everything to hell but since the skinny one was good I decided to hold on for a bit thinking that if her little feet really weren't walking in line I would ask her to do something similar and so it was, after torturous 20 minutes feeling like an Arab in a CIA cell she agreed to let me do the same, took advantage of touching her two tits along the way and not leaving with my pants down...And since I didn't know what the hell I was going to do improvised telling her that I had done it many times before and the closest I got to that was a vigil mass on Easter Sunday where we all had a candle. Sad. I took off at first but she, burning me, really turned me on, and I said this is mine. Grabbed the blowtorch and told her half in jest...you've tried the little one now try the big one and just as I finished saying that I opened the gas and put a lit match on the end, the explosion only sat my butt on the floor and she came running to laugh and I was telling her to laugh and couldn't stop laughing the idiot...when she could finally control her laughter she said...you burned your eyebrows!! I looked in the mirror and sure enough I had shaved my eyebrows with fire. Is it possible that nothing like this will ever come out of me again, even once, like an old person? And then I just told her...I don't give a damn, you're going to burn until you're done...and with the blowtorch in hand at low power and with my tongue hanging out in the best American Psycho style I gave her what she wanted. She asked me to burn her slowly on her booty and legs so that later I could do the same to her tits....I didn't understand anything, I was wondering if poor little girl had ever suffered a house fire or if maybe she always wanted to be Aquaman's villain. It seemed like all the bad stuff had passed with a smile and some good humor but as it always does in my life things ended up worse than I could have imagined...After three beautiful ejaculations without anything weird, just a hamster that hadn't noticed slipped between us but when I She said it was her pet that hadn't been seen for a month and I calmed down... And to finally certify that the water didn't reach the tank and as if she were asking something common and ordinary, she says...'I'd like you to tie me up and burn me with the cigarettes you smoke.' So, okay, there's no possible reaction before this, you don't know if it's a potential suicide, if they really have problems or past job in a circus walking barefoot on coals...or maybe the only paternal image she had was her mother's partner who was a volunteer firefighter and she hated him...I didn't know what to say to her really, it seemed something totally painful and that surpassed the limits of pleasure, at least for me, then I grabbed my usual egg-sucking habit before everything in life and told her no, look at life, it's not like this, did you watch The Smurfs as a girl? If she says so, well, crazy woman, that's life, love thy neighbor or think about what you're thinking, when Papa Smurf was sick nobody worked? Who built the dam to hold back the water? Who warned if Gargamel came? Everyone loved each other, they didn't hurt themselves...do you understand? We have to love more...And she left in a cry that made me think again because what the hell do those situations make me do and I don't stay at home making lemon pie! I told her her theme with fire came from when her first boyfriend left her and she would burn herself to blame herself...she had an important trip planned, so I made some mates, we sat on the balcony, put some Abba songs to lift us up (?) and talked until morning and saw her smile wanting to change guilt for a more carnal and less fiery pleasure...just like that. Before leaving, I promised to bring some VHS of The Smurfs that I had made for my nieces because with so many cartoon channels, computers, and cell phones they never could see them...I would definitely watch them with her if she asked me....A week later, I brought them, there were furniture in the living room, the candles weren't... They were, probably so exhausted from all that sahumerio and that pyromaniac potential after a while and many exits and experiences that it ended up being my girlfriend for two years. See? Sometimes things can end much better than they seem...

Trying to take a woman to a hotel can turn into an unforgettable adventure and I would put her at the level of difficulty in discovering where fortune cookies are made, kidnapping the flying dwarves who make them, and sending Papa Noel a video telling him to reveal his identity because otherwise everyone will die. And it's not just messed up if the feminine is someone we met at a seal convention, but also if it's been a long time since she's our partner and she's one of those shy ones who don't take trips with anything from the world. Difficult for some to access because you told her that years ago you started treatments on your skin with Scandinavian moth extract, which you buy every month online, nor if you go with the verse that your mom and dad met at the corner of that hotel where you're inviting her cordially to go and that same first night they conceived you for later having a full life filled with prosperity and many pets. As always said, they smell everything, they know that this camouflaged invitation will arrive at some point in the night and always after a few drinks and midnight, where the thought of failure and returning home alone to sleep already becomes a feeling of shit and it's not good to repeat it. Above all, attitude, over all things, especially if you weren't blessed with an acceptable face or average height, you have to have your head held high, if you're bald, it's like betting on the National and Provincial teams and winning both, because no one knows where your forehead ends and in that case you always have it up and you're gross. It's time you knew this for these occasions is It's recommendable to have various ways of getting in touch with her from an emotional or sentimental perspective, or wherever it may be, so you don't fall into the same cheap routine of always saying 'There's a lot of noise here...don't you want to go to a place where we can be more relaxed and comfortable?' If she says yes at that moment but tells you to wipe off the erect cock that's sticking out of your eyes because she just wants to go somewhere else so she can talk to you about how badly she's been doing with men, you'll feel like a sad loser. That's why it's important to know some things, whether invented or real, in order to face situations like this.[/swf]
Situation 1: 'Not everything always turns out as one wants'[/swf]
This is a pretty common situation, wherever they met the kid starts talking about his life, how he's failed, how things have been going wrong for him, how he got fired and so on, how everything fell apart from then on and he can't find any way out of the hole he's in. At this point, our girl can opt for two versions of her feminine instinct... The first is to keep looking sideways as if she's listening but actually doesn't care and is thinking about how much more of that crap she has to listen to or feel really touched inside because she once went through the same thing and sex changed her life. What she doesn't know is that everything he's saying is perfectly rehearsed from start to finish, with mathematical exactness by that son of a slut who wants to screw her like a sheep in heat at the nearest hotel he can find. At several points during this monologue, it's likely that he'll pretend to cry, grab the girl's hand and say things like Forgive me, I didn't think I'd jump into all this so suddenly but see... there are moments when it's impossible not to silence the soul and really feel like you're listening and understanding me without knowing me made me feel very comfortable or maybe I'm not one for crying but sincerely, all this time I've been alone since my ex left me has given me a terrible loneliness that no one can heal. He's really a son of a slut, but he says it with such clarity and a malnourished penguin face that she believes him even though the guy spends every night of his life at that bar and everyone knows him... So this is another very effective way out if she asks why everyone knows him... It's because of that that some of those who greet me know me from commenting on the things I write and others... And well, the cutie if she lets herself get seduced by this crap box they're probably selling her, she'll likely access leaving there with another intention. You could probably tell her things that would make you come across like a born loser... One day I told my wife I loved her and she replied by touching her head, telling me it was just a phase... And for the final, the guy has his white horse when he already smells that with a precise blow, one of them takes him to the hotel... You know what? It's been 4 years since I've had sex with a woman, so you forgive me if at times I'm half-timid or don't know how to act... it's because I lost the rhythm of dealing with a woman and my soul is shattered... I apologize[/swf]
Situation 2: I didn't care about anything before, now I think many men are selfish in sex[/swf]
This is for all those snooty girls who kick someone in the ass and tell them to get out when faced with an earlier situation. It requires enormous knowledge of the game, exquisite talent in sexual matters in all its versions, and of course, the worst stone face. The feminine phrase that gives rise to this move is the following... No, you're just a masturbator like everyone else and you only think about fuck, leave me alone, fatso... Well, at that exact moment, and accessing the request not to bother him, the guy throws three colossal phrases... one after another as if he didn't care anymore and only to close the conversation and sometimes without even looking at her...

A- The truth is that it's not like you think, I certainly adhere to your words and consider that today, men only think about having relationships... but what kind of relationships? I don't believe you're one of those who only think about themselves, for me, egoistic sex stays in secondary school, if I get into bed with someone, first I worry about making her enjoy it the same way as me because to make myself a masturbation, I stay home and don't screw anyone

B- Making a woman cum and feeling that first orgasm with her must be among the best pleasures I could experience in my life, along with my grandmother Casilda's mushroom sauce and tripe roll... If it's together, better, but for that, you need time and always start something

C- You have a red thong, I can feel it on my perineum

And with these phrases, there are two possible endings and neither of them is really good... the first one is that the cutie looks at you with a please get this annoying guy off me or, on the contrary, she leans against you, whispers in your ear, and touches your package in an impolite way and says If pussy... is black, this is your perineum? mmmmmm but not quite, it's actually white but I'm in the middle of my period and will have a bat-like face but won't say put wings, take care of yourself, love yourself and stop saying nonsense that nobody believes you, not even your grandma.[/swf]
Situation 3: 'Why wait if we can make it unforgettable?'[/swf]
It turns out you had already gotten close, the embarrassing moment of speaking for the first time had passed...she had given you space, they had yelled at each other because the music didn't let them understand each other...all that had happened. You were in a crucial moment, they had distanced themselves from her friends, sat quietly on a staircase and the music wasn't heard as much anymore, you started to get closer, it was after 4 am, you were half drunk and your friends sent you empty or hard-to-understand text messages so you understood they were all wasted, lying around there. As someone who values friendship, none of that mattered to you and you kept going with yours. There was a moment when she almost lost the situation but a comment from her about Flanders brought you back on track...you started talking about football with a cutie you wanted to take to a hotel and said I'm a master, I'll get a blow job and I'll watch fat Bonadeo And you started rolling around in a terrain where you felt comfortable and the smile you had was the same as when they told you your dick would grow with time...Until many steps ahead and it was she who proposed going to a hotel and you couldn't believe it, burned what was left of your paycheck at the closest hotel which was the most expensive but didn't care, didn't want to lose the chance...and when you entered the room and couldn't believe what was happening and thought about telling her if it bothered her that you were filming the situation she said no drama man, wait for me to go to the bathroom and I'll come back like Giunta in Boca del Maestro Tabarez to break everything And you stayed there...not knowing whether to laugh or cry, a cutie who spoke like that with those football details doesn't come along every day...and at the end she came...and broke you...the funniest thing is that you left your phone filming on the coffee table package...the hangover you were trying to hide. waiting for her to get out of the bathroom... and you lost like in a war crazy, now your ass has vertigo and the cutie you thought was ideal because it knew who the cat fernandez was not a cat...it was a Troglodyte disguised!![/swf]




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uncomfortable

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Telo Incómodo [Obra Completa]hotelLighter

15 comentários - Telo Incómodo [Obra Completa]

angieyruben +4
Una mortal recopilación de historias de telos que me hizo reír como pocas veces !
Sos un genio delirante !!!
Este fin de semana te mandamos las fotos que pediste !!!
Volveremos, a favoritos y reco !!!!

Gracias por compartir.
Angie te deja Besos y Lamiditas !!!
uncomfortable
La mejor forma de agradecer la buena onda que se recibe es comentando, al menos al que te comenta. Yo comenté tu post, vos comentaste el mío?
Compartamos, comentemos, apoyemos, hagamos cada vez mejor esta maravillosa Comunidad !!!
angieyruben +2
Volvimos con puntos de reconocimiento !!!
Lady_GodivaII +1
Excelente antología, recomiendo no leer en el desayuno ya que la medialuna puede salir volando en una carcajada
blopayo
"sintio que estaba metiendo en su boca las rastas de Bob Marley...y asi fue detallando cada momento ante nuestro estupor. Momento dificil fue cuando tuvo que montarse arriba de el y sintio que estaba sentada en el pasto"

"Hagamos un 69 me dijo y yo riendome para adentro dije...mas que 69 con vos hago un 479...pero finalmente accedi a una tortura anal sin precedentes... (...)ella contenta seguia chupandomela y empezo a mover la cola de un lado para el otro y yo no le encontraba todavia nada para chuparle...era imposible, era encontrar una aguja en un pajar. Sus dos nalgas me boxearon la jeta de ida y de vuelta... (...)lo que uno nunca quiere que le pase...ella se desgracio gaseosamente en mi cara, senti como ese vientito me peinaba, senti un dejo a fideos con tuco y mucho ajo"

A Fav, por Jebús! 😀 😀 😀 😀 😀
Morochoaltivo19
lo que me haces reir por dioss. hubo un momento en el directamente salpique con cafe el monitor. Sos groso sabelo¡¡¡ . Serias el miguel brindisi de aca de p¡
MxtroniKa +1
"Altacoconlapaja: Para mi que sos un traba
HOTFELICITAS APARECE AHORA COMO DESCONECTADO"

POR FAVORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
YachyLintuSolid
PATROCINA ESTE ESPACIO DE LIMADURA: EL GIL ESTE QUE SE LLAMA MICHAEL TELO...
Telo Incómodo [Obra Completa]
JAJAJAJAJA es muy bueno este post bludo... Muy bueno.
:twisted:🤘 despues pasate por mi relato, en una de esas te gusta n_n

Abrazo astral! XD
#Yachy ♥
DavidLorenzoni
Jajaja Genio de la vida chabon!!! Lei la primera por que estoy terminado! lo guardo y lo sigo. Lo voy a leer completo!! Soy re telero, sabes las veces que dije "Postaa" jaajajajaja
Un abrazo rey!
Tu regalo fue enviado exitosamente!
Regalos