Before I admit that this written piece is like some kind of therapy. I need to contextualize a bit from way back and at some point I'll get to my debut as the fruit of the dessert.
The first years of high school were extremely tough for me. My ability to communicate was almost non-existent and that made it hard to have friends or romantic relationships. I was extremely awkward. In my adolescence, I spoke softly and without articulation. I never managed anything at all. It took me until fourteen to start growing and I was still very short.
All of this made bullying arrive sooner rather than later. The impotence of not knowing how to defend myself and the rejection of my classmates depressed me for years.
On the other hand, facing a woman was a titanic task, especially with my complexes. By late puberty, I noticed that I had developed more slowly than my neighbors and classmates. This became clear when I did my first and last group masturbation. There were three of us, each with our own member, and mine was the smallest one without pubic hair. I remember well that at that time, public hair was synonymous with virility.
The problem started when some neighbors took down my pants and began treating me like a fool. The jokes buried my self-esteem and I felt more resigned to my sexuality every day. I didn't dare undress in front of anyone out of shame. In the bathrooms, I wouldn't pee in the urinals for anything in the world. The same thing happened with boxers, obviously I wasn't going to wear something that showed off my weaknesses. I wasted all the opportunities, not even daring to kiss someone because I didn't assume anyone would like me. I watched pornography and the enormous virile members only discouraged me more. At those times, sexual education was learned on the streets and through trial and error, through porn and comedy movies like American Pie.
Time passed and I developed. I started growing, my mustache began to appear slightly. I worried a bit more for my image. I managed to socialize thanks to how much I tried. I was paying attention to every detail, the way of speaking, talking, looking, and having tact. Little by little, I was making friends and gaining respect. But women were still a mystery. It was hard work to get my first kiss at 15, and my kisses were very sporadic. On my trip with fellow graduates, I couldn't even approach the lips of a woman.
This way I ended high school with a certain bitter taste, because I felt like I was adapting and hadn't finished enjoying it as I would have liked. However, in university, I adapted faster and gradually forgot about my classmates and neighbors.
At some point in life, I felt determined to lose my virginity. My greatest longing was to do so with a woman I barely knew, someone who didn't know me well enough for the jokes to come back. And it is that... My self-esteem already assumed that probably it would be an embarrassment. And more with the fear of premature ejaculation that had brought me problems at some point. Then I thought: People will find out sooner or later that I'm a virgin, at least I'll get rid of my urges. It's important to note that my complexes about size were still strong at that time, but as it had been a long time and I had grown, I really didn't know how much my penis had grown.
One day I contacted Virginia (not symbolic, she was actually named that), a girl with whom I took a painting course. It had been ages since I saw her, but we had a great friendship in my first years of high school. She told me she was studying visual arts and would sometimes come back to the city to visit her relatives and friends.
When we ran into each other at a party, we remembered those significant moments and nostalgia invaded us. We barely saw each other after graduation, but despite not being close, there was an important connection. The passion for nonsensical art, and with it I felt comfortable, genuine, natural. That night I didn't dare to kiss her, fear was completely overwhelming me. The night ended without you being able to say goodbye, since I left in a hurry due to an accident.
- Sorry for not saying goodbye, my friend told us to leave and we were walking in his car - He said it one night by message.
- No problem, everything went well.
- What are you doing?
- I'm at home. I'm alone and getting drunk.
- Can I join you?
- Yes, come on.
I took the car and was excited, intrigued. Will this night be mine?, I asked myself. At that moment I wanted to take a drink and relax, but the car and medications didn't allow it. It was a summer night. She attended me, wearing a very short and fine dress. Her golden hair reached her neck. She had some freckles. The lips were very thin. Virginia almost reached my neck height and was slender.
- Permission, what a nice house.
- Do you want to stay inside?
- Let's go outside, it's hot.
- Okay
- What band is that?
- Perota Chingó. Do you like it?
- Yes.
The blonde girl had put on makeup and the house had a very cozy atmosphere until it was almost aphrodisiac.
- What happened to Mili's speed?- She asked
- She got into tourism. And she's still in a relationship, I don't know if she's already married.
- Yes, I remember, from high school.
- Yes, what endurance. And I don't know how to be with a casual woman.- I presumed, although in truth I didn't even know how to be with a woman casually- I faced an acquaintance and had no luck.- I said, and looked straight at her eyes. My words were sincere and at the same time worked as a indirect.
- Sometimes you have to take risks, do it- She proposed
A sparkle ran through my eyes.
- Do you want to put on some music?
- Okay. Listen to this-I said, and let Bocanada by Cerati sound.
Fear ran through my body. So much that I had already passed the night and still couldn't even say a flirtatious phrase to her. We sat down on the couch and I said:
- Do you know that when we were in school I liked you?
- Yes?
- And I kept liking you.
I kissed her. I saw her face and noticed something that never I had noticed so much in my previous kisses. She closed her eyes, there was delight on her face, she let herself be carried away. I caressed her slowly and with great respect. I contained myself, but inside I was very ardent and thoughtful at the same time. I decided to relax, thought it would be better to pretend I knew what I was doing.
I touched her. My hands disarranged her corset. Her breasts were pointed and had large nipples. I hadn't touched many breasts in my life, and never for so long. I enjoyed it. I remained excited, and my hand went down. For the first time, I could rub against a vagina. At that moment, I felt an excitement I don't remember feeling before. It was many new things for me. She shuddered.
Here's where something I had learned from experience came in handy. I had taken into account that I should ease up a bit before penetration, and we did. I touched her vagina, she was masturbating to warm me up. Suddenly, Virginia climbed on top of me, both of us were naked from the waist up, and we were kissing. She only had underwear on, and it was making me overheat. I was kissing her whole body and caressing her back. I couldn't hide my happiness.
After that, I sat her down in the same armchair and took off her underwear. I began to suck her without having the slightest idea of what I was doing. Virginia was holding my head with her legs open. I started feeling moisture, with my limited experience, I thought it was a squirt. I was burning.
Do you have a condom?
One only.
I pulled out the single prophylactic from my pocket and got on top of her. I positioned my penis for sex and it felt strange but nice. Everything was going much better than I had imagined. I leaned my arms against the sofa and moved while kissing her neck and all of her torso.
Slowly, slowly, she said.
I tried to be gentle. She proposed changing positions and we did. She got on top of me and that's when I felt comfort in its maximum expression. My fear of precocity and large size had disappeared by then. complete. I was very relaxed. I felt like masturbation was much less enduring than sex.
She started moving very tastefully, bouncing with solvency and it cost her to speak, but something she needed to say. She came close to my ear and said something between the sex that stayed engraved in me forever:
-You can... Say... Something... Of truth... Never... Have seen a cock... So big.
And I exploded. She caught me. I felt like I couldn't contain myself, something that didn't happen when I masturbated, which I knew when it ended and I stopped touching myself. But as she kept riding, I had pleasant and unique sensations.
I threw the condom away, got comfortable, put my pants on and hugged her. She was still naked.
-Did you... Did you like it?
-I had my moments.
-Do you really think it's big?
-No, I think it's very big.
-I stopped asking, but inside I was perplexed. Extremely confused.
-You don't know how much I missed you.- I mentioned
-I too, when we were roommates, I used to like you.
It was too much new information for me, a very angelic American liking a chubby guy? At what moment did I go from being an incel, a virgin, a virgo to a sentimental one? I started feeling that my fantasies were unjustified, that I had lost a lot of time, but at the same time I was very cheerful.
We said goodbye and went out a few more times when I could come visit. After she disappeared again and it hurt a little to be apart. She probably forgot about me, but she'll always have a place in my heart.
From that moment on, my life changed completely. Gradually I took confidence and broke taboos. I tried to take revenge with many girls who had doubts about whether they liked me or not. In many cases I didn't have luck, but I felt good. And most importantly, I learned, try to learn about sex. No longer do I think like before, I've discovered what women like because I talk to them. I try to give it my all and no longer let myself be led by that bunch that misinforms and doesn't bring anything.
The first years of high school were extremely tough for me. My ability to communicate was almost non-existent and that made it hard to have friends or romantic relationships. I was extremely awkward. In my adolescence, I spoke softly and without articulation. I never managed anything at all. It took me until fourteen to start growing and I was still very short.
All of this made bullying arrive sooner rather than later. The impotence of not knowing how to defend myself and the rejection of my classmates depressed me for years.
On the other hand, facing a woman was a titanic task, especially with my complexes. By late puberty, I noticed that I had developed more slowly than my neighbors and classmates. This became clear when I did my first and last group masturbation. There were three of us, each with our own member, and mine was the smallest one without pubic hair. I remember well that at that time, public hair was synonymous with virility.
The problem started when some neighbors took down my pants and began treating me like a fool. The jokes buried my self-esteem and I felt more resigned to my sexuality every day. I didn't dare undress in front of anyone out of shame. In the bathrooms, I wouldn't pee in the urinals for anything in the world. The same thing happened with boxers, obviously I wasn't going to wear something that showed off my weaknesses. I wasted all the opportunities, not even daring to kiss someone because I didn't assume anyone would like me. I watched pornography and the enormous virile members only discouraged me more. At those times, sexual education was learned on the streets and through trial and error, through porn and comedy movies like American Pie.
Time passed and I developed. I started growing, my mustache began to appear slightly. I worried a bit more for my image. I managed to socialize thanks to how much I tried. I was paying attention to every detail, the way of speaking, talking, looking, and having tact. Little by little, I was making friends and gaining respect. But women were still a mystery. It was hard work to get my first kiss at 15, and my kisses were very sporadic. On my trip with fellow graduates, I couldn't even approach the lips of a woman.
This way I ended high school with a certain bitter taste, because I felt like I was adapting and hadn't finished enjoying it as I would have liked. However, in university, I adapted faster and gradually forgot about my classmates and neighbors.
At some point in life, I felt determined to lose my virginity. My greatest longing was to do so with a woman I barely knew, someone who didn't know me well enough for the jokes to come back. And it is that... My self-esteem already assumed that probably it would be an embarrassment. And more with the fear of premature ejaculation that had brought me problems at some point. Then I thought: People will find out sooner or later that I'm a virgin, at least I'll get rid of my urges. It's important to note that my complexes about size were still strong at that time, but as it had been a long time and I had grown, I really didn't know how much my penis had grown.
One day I contacted Virginia (not symbolic, she was actually named that), a girl with whom I took a painting course. It had been ages since I saw her, but we had a great friendship in my first years of high school. She told me she was studying visual arts and would sometimes come back to the city to visit her relatives and friends.
When we ran into each other at a party, we remembered those significant moments and nostalgia invaded us. We barely saw each other after graduation, but despite not being close, there was an important connection. The passion for nonsensical art, and with it I felt comfortable, genuine, natural. That night I didn't dare to kiss her, fear was completely overwhelming me. The night ended without you being able to say goodbye, since I left in a hurry due to an accident.
- Sorry for not saying goodbye, my friend told us to leave and we were walking in his car - He said it one night by message.
- No problem, everything went well.
- What are you doing?
- I'm at home. I'm alone and getting drunk.
- Can I join you?
- Yes, come on.
I took the car and was excited, intrigued. Will this night be mine?, I asked myself. At that moment I wanted to take a drink and relax, but the car and medications didn't allow it. It was a summer night. She attended me, wearing a very short and fine dress. Her golden hair reached her neck. She had some freckles. The lips were very thin. Virginia almost reached my neck height and was slender.
- Permission, what a nice house.
- Do you want to stay inside?
- Let's go outside, it's hot.
- Okay
- What band is that?
- Perota Chingó. Do you like it?
- Yes.
The blonde girl had put on makeup and the house had a very cozy atmosphere until it was almost aphrodisiac.
- What happened to Mili's speed?- She asked
- She got into tourism. And she's still in a relationship, I don't know if she's already married.
- Yes, I remember, from high school.
- Yes, what endurance. And I don't know how to be with a casual woman.- I presumed, although in truth I didn't even know how to be with a woman casually- I faced an acquaintance and had no luck.- I said, and looked straight at her eyes. My words were sincere and at the same time worked as a indirect.
- Sometimes you have to take risks, do it- She proposed
A sparkle ran through my eyes.
- Do you want to put on some music?
- Okay. Listen to this-I said, and let Bocanada by Cerati sound.
Fear ran through my body. So much that I had already passed the night and still couldn't even say a flirtatious phrase to her. We sat down on the couch and I said:
- Do you know that when we were in school I liked you?
- Yes?
- And I kept liking you.
I kissed her. I saw her face and noticed something that never I had noticed so much in my previous kisses. She closed her eyes, there was delight on her face, she let herself be carried away. I caressed her slowly and with great respect. I contained myself, but inside I was very ardent and thoughtful at the same time. I decided to relax, thought it would be better to pretend I knew what I was doing.
I touched her. My hands disarranged her corset. Her breasts were pointed and had large nipples. I hadn't touched many breasts in my life, and never for so long. I enjoyed it. I remained excited, and my hand went down. For the first time, I could rub against a vagina. At that moment, I felt an excitement I don't remember feeling before. It was many new things for me. She shuddered.
Here's where something I had learned from experience came in handy. I had taken into account that I should ease up a bit before penetration, and we did. I touched her vagina, she was masturbating to warm me up. Suddenly, Virginia climbed on top of me, both of us were naked from the waist up, and we were kissing. She only had underwear on, and it was making me overheat. I was kissing her whole body and caressing her back. I couldn't hide my happiness.
After that, I sat her down in the same armchair and took off her underwear. I began to suck her without having the slightest idea of what I was doing. Virginia was holding my head with her legs open. I started feeling moisture, with my limited experience, I thought it was a squirt. I was burning.
Do you have a condom?
One only.
I pulled out the single prophylactic from my pocket and got on top of her. I positioned my penis for sex and it felt strange but nice. Everything was going much better than I had imagined. I leaned my arms against the sofa and moved while kissing her neck and all of her torso.
Slowly, slowly, she said.
I tried to be gentle. She proposed changing positions and we did. She got on top of me and that's when I felt comfort in its maximum expression. My fear of precocity and large size had disappeared by then. complete. I was very relaxed. I felt like masturbation was much less enduring than sex.
She started moving very tastefully, bouncing with solvency and it cost her to speak, but something she needed to say. She came close to my ear and said something between the sex that stayed engraved in me forever:
-You can... Say... Something... Of truth... Never... Have seen a cock... So big.
And I exploded. She caught me. I felt like I couldn't contain myself, something that didn't happen when I masturbated, which I knew when it ended and I stopped touching myself. But as she kept riding, I had pleasant and unique sensations.
I threw the condom away, got comfortable, put my pants on and hugged her. She was still naked.
-Did you... Did you like it?
-I had my moments.
-Do you really think it's big?
-No, I think it's very big.
-I stopped asking, but inside I was perplexed. Extremely confused.
-You don't know how much I missed you.- I mentioned
-I too, when we were roommates, I used to like you.
It was too much new information for me, a very angelic American liking a chubby guy? At what moment did I go from being an incel, a virgin, a virgo to a sentimental one? I started feeling that my fantasies were unjustified, that I had lost a lot of time, but at the same time I was very cheerful.
We said goodbye and went out a few more times when I could come visit. After she disappeared again and it hurt a little to be apart. She probably forgot about me, but she'll always have a place in my heart.
From that moment on, my life changed completely. Gradually I took confidence and broke taboos. I tried to take revenge with many girls who had doubts about whether they liked me or not. In many cases I didn't have luck, but I felt good. And most importantly, I learned, try to learn about sex. No longer do I think like before, I've discovered what women like because I talk to them. I try to give it my all and no longer let myself be led by that bunch that misinforms and doesn't bring anything.
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