Ring... Ring... Ring... —Hello —Hello Carlos, I'm calling because I have a problem with my girlfriend, I'll have to leave her —What's the matter... why?, she's nice, intelligent, and hot! —Exactly, it happens to me with her just like with watches, I prefer one made of plastic, those that come as a gift with yogurt, over a gold Rolex —Why is that? —Because people can think I'm constipated if I have the plastic one, but they'll know I'm really messed up if I have the gold one. I'm always worried, what if someone steals it or messes with me?, it's the same with my girlfriend, what if someone takes her and messes with her? —Well... remember when you met her, how you won her over —I remember, I saw her in a bar and thought, is this woman from the same species as me?, because she seemed so tall next to me, and when she looked at me and winked an eye I thought, poor guy must have a tic; I recall she came up to me and asked if I was alone, and I said, well... alone, alone, what you call alone... yes. —And then what happened? —She invited me to the bar for a drink and there's a hidden camera and I'm left looking like an idiot on TV, but no, we chatted and when we parted ways she said, let's meet up tomorrow for coffee, of course she'll be drinking it because I'll be taking a Placidyl. The next day, when I woke up, I wondered what she must have seen in me, maybe I'm an intellectual and still haven't realized, will she try to collect? —But no Carlos, if you're that attractive up close, the problem is that nobody has ever approached you before —In the end we became a couple, but soon I realized the problem; our friends turned into basketball players, yes, they're all waiting for the rebound to steal it and score themselves —And I went out walking alone with her —That's worse, the other day I walked past a construction site and it was instant, where did you leave Snow White and the rest of the dwarfs?, Too much rabbit for so little carrot, and there I exploded and started crying because... what was I supposed to do, take punches from the 15 tired guys who kept saying... hit nails or clear them out, careful this woman has a partner... and maybe she's around here somewhere near -- Have you tried taking her to a disco? -- You're crazy, it's exhausting, she spends the whole night dancing and of course I can't leave her alone because everyone is surrounding her, so I keep dancing until suddenly terrible urges to pee come over me and I think, this woman never runs out of batteries, it's like the Duracell rabbit, hard hard hard, and I'm holding it in looking at the men around me hard hard hard; I have to keep dancing -- Well but at least you'll get good sex as a reward -- Not even, I used to hold on for at least ten minutes in missionary position, but now, as soon as she takes off her bra, no missionary or anything, I leave dry like a debutante teenager who spends all day on the internet -- Well Carlos, you think she's nice, intelligent, and after all, everyone has a defect.
Ring… Ring… Ring… –Yes… inform me 20 what you want –Excuse me but I'm lost, I was supposed to meet a friend at two and I'm running late because I don't know where I am –You're in your car, seven kilometers from the center, with 27 degrees north latitude and 41 west longitude —Excuse me but... are you an engineer, right? —Yes sir, I am, how did you know? —It's obvious, because everything you said is technically correct but completely useless: I'm still lost, I'll be late, and the information you gave me doesn't help me at all —And you're sure that's a politician... right? —But of course it is, and how did you guess? —Because they don't know where they are, or where they're going; they made a promise they can't keep, and now they expect someone else to solve the problem. In fact, you're in the same situation you were in before you started; but now, for some strange reason, it seems like my fault
Ring… Ring… Ring… –Yes… inform me 20 what you want –Excuse me but I'm lost, I was supposed to meet a friend at two and I'm running late because I don't know where I am –You're in your car, seven kilometers from the center, with 27 degrees north latitude and 41 west longitude —Excuse me but... are you an engineer, right? —Yes sir, I am, how did you know? —It's obvious, because everything you said is technically correct but completely useless: I'm still lost, I'll be late, and the information you gave me doesn't help me at all —And you're sure that's a politician... right? —But of course it is, and how did you guess? —Because they don't know where they are, or where they're going; they made a promise they can't keep, and now they expect someone else to solve the problem. In fact, you're in the same situation you were in before you started; but now, for some strange reason, it seems like my fault
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