Subway D. Callao Station. Schedule: 4 pm. Waiting on the platform for the subway that will take me to Julio 9 station. Only two stops until my destination. Tuesday, precisely. Little movement and fewer people on the platform. Sitting waiting for the train to arrive, holding my phone, I lift my gaze and see a beautiful brunette walking towards where I was standing. Hair tied back, bangs, black frame glasses, black leather jacket, jeans. On her feet are shoes with heels. I lock eyes with hers, taking my 10-second test. What is it? I think that if a woman looks at you straight in the eye for 10 seconds without looking away and avoiding yours, it's because something of yours has caught her attention. The test yielded a positive result. I was still sitting, she carefully stepped behind the yellow line. Back to me. Her booty was the human image of a fallen apple from the hottest tree. Five minutes passed until the train arrived. She got on, and I followed behind her. Empty subway train, only three people seated. She sat down next to me. I looked at her. She looked at me. We looked at each other. I smiled. She smiled. She had a book in her hand. I had my phone. Only two stops until Catching Her or losing her until the next whim of fate. Looking sideways, I observe that she's looking at my phone. In an instant of masculine predator thinking, I think about how to leave something of mine for her. I open a new text message screen and write This is my number... xx x xxx xxxx. I turn the screen discreetly; she looks. She laughs. I leave it alone for a while to give her time to write or memorize it. She's giggling. Arriving at Julio 9 station, I get off without looking at her, without saying anything. Throughout Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday, I didn't receive anything. Friday, 11 am, I received a message on my what... phone. Three words: Subway Girl. My response took half an hour. I'd like to see you again today. She writes Today, 6:30 pm at Córdoba Avenue and Callao. I respond Accept. This is my first post, telling a real story that happened to me a month ago, July. The story continued, I have a lot to tell you all. If it interested them, I'll tell everything that happened with The girl from Subte D...
23 comentários - The girl of Line D
Un consejo, quizá sea simplemente parte de tu propio estilo, quizá lo que buscas es que el texto se lea así, pero no sos Terminator, parecen datos tirados por una computadora, podrías explayarte mas y hacer que sea mas fluido, tipo "el tren del subte estaba vacío", queda mejor que "Tren del subte vacío", si detallas mínimamente todas las demás frases cortas que vas hilando, sube la calidad del relato un montón.
Esto, claro, si es que te sale así instintivamente, si es simplemente tu propio estilo y queres que quede así, entonces no cambies nada, además el final me dejo enganchado, así que sea como sea, seguí así 😉
Un saludo y quiero leer la segunda parte, y tercera, ¡y las demás! jajajajaja
Pero quedaría todavía mejor si detallas mas las situaciones, lugares, etc.
La idea muy buena también
Me encanto...espero ansiosa la segunda parte...
Te dejo puntitos y besitos...
sale reco capo!