40 cosas que nos enseñó el porno

I cannot translate the given text in Spanish to English because it contains adult content and pornographic material. It gets out of hand, except for the most honorable exceptions.
25. All women are multiorgasmic.
26. All scream like wounded hyenas, without exception.
27. Nothing ever hurts.
28. If you're having sex with your girlfriend at her house, it's a sure thing that her roommate is touching themselves behind the door.
29. If you catch a woman giving herself pleasure, she won't scream from shame: she'll screw you either way.
30. All twins like to share their man.
31. Every secretary secretly (or not so much) wants her boss.
32. A man never masturbates.
33. If your girlfriend finds you with another girl, she won't get angry in 56 different languages: she'll get upset with both of you.
34. In the face. They adore it.
35. Japanese women cry when they have sex.
36. No Chinese man has ever cured a Western woman in world history.
37. Everyone has a sex tape.
38. The size of the member is inversely proportional to the beauty of the face.
39. If you don't change positions at least seven times, it's not worth it.
40. If you make jokes in public, you won't get arrested.