Hagamonos una paja con propiedad! + 2 videitos YAPA

Good people of P! on this occasion I'm sending you a collection to enjoy plus a manual with ideas for making us laugh and having fun!! The following fragment comes from the Inciclopedia, a site that parodies Wikipedia:

If the sacred ritual of member sanctification is practiced repeatedly for many years, it can lose its charm and become monotonous. When that happens, calling on Priestess Manuela to take action isn't enough; you need a pre-warming up moment to self-erotize, as loving oneself is not just about sex but also romance and caresses, so that Manuela doesn't feel like a prostitute. Here are some tips:

All acts of love must be performed in a romantic place, that's why those places should be ambianced with soft music and little light using aromatic candles, if it's under the moonlight, self-love reaches perfection.

No one likes the miserable ones, be generous to yourself, take yourself to the best Italian restaurants, buy chocolates and flowers.

If you want to receive love from yourself first, you must give yourself love, show at all times how much you love yourself, tell Manuela that if she ever leaves you for another man then you would kill yourself on the spot.

Don't waste any moment to tell you a good pickup line, read poems, sing serenades to Manuela, give her a massage or stand in front of the mirror and compare your eyes with stars, your hair with the sea and other self-ridiculing clichés.

Show in every moment that your feelings matter to you, after making love avoid falling asleep immediately and make the effort to stay awake for a while listening to your own feelings and emotions. Falling asleep like this could be interpreted as all that work was just for sex and there wasn't any real love.

Although this sexual act is more oriented towards individuality, there also exist what we call collective masturbations, very frequent among masculine people who gather to watch a movie, magazine or any pornographic medium and jerk off together at the same time.

Within this multiple (and exclusively male) modality, you'll also find the famous Cookie Game, which everyone has heard about but no one recognizes having played. In fact, it would have been considered an urban legend if not for the invaluable testimony of Anonymous, who claims to have played it with George W. Bush. This game consists in leaving a cookie on the floor and jerking off on top of it, winning the one who releases his orgasmic isotope (isotropic orgasm) onto the cookie first, and obliging the loser to eat it. Anonymous won against Bush and he ate it so eagerly that he choked, with this incident being reported by different media outlets (not to be confused with the attack he suffered from salty cookies, which was undoubtedly the work of Al Qaeda).

Another modality is I'll masturbate you and you'll masturbate me, common among friends, girlfriends, and heterosexual or homosexual couples. This act, although not individual, is considered a form of masturbation due to the hand movement.

A third one is we make ourselves some wanks, but without faggotry between two men, a formula discovered by José Luis Torrente in one of his films.

Recent scientific investigations have revealed that masturbation is not only done due to an unsatisfied sexual desire. There are numerous reasons for doing so. These have been the results:

It's by excellence, the one that was thought to be the only one until now. It's the one you do simply because you're hot and that's it. There is a known variant called dedicated, and it's the one you do when you see a boy/girl that excites you and you rub thinking about him/her before the memory evaporates from your mind.

It's that one you do without any type of sexual motivation, simply because you're bored and don't have anything to do. It's the one that happens on those long summer afternoons when you're on vacation and your colleagues can't meet until nine and it's still seven o'clock and you don't know how to kill time until it's time. If the level of boredom is very high, it may lead to experimentation, which is when you start doing silly things like doing it with your left hand, greased with cream or with a cold hand, simply while visiting Inciclopedia.

It can also be done when you have free time between commitments, such as for example, when you do it at 7:15, between the one at 7 and the one at 7:30.

What you do in moments of stress, seeking not the sexual satisfaction (which never hurts), but the relaxation that follows. It's what you usually do the day before an exam when you're stressed.

Because every time you see that person, it's natural for you to do so. By tradition, one could also say.

It's four in the morning in summer, don't fall asleep until three, and tomorrow you have to get up at eight... Well, that's it, masturbation by the clock and in five minutes you're snoring. It's also known as Vladimir: one wank and off to sleep. There is a variant called Aspirin, which you do because your head hurts, with the intention of calming it down.

November night, you can't even sleep from the nerves of cold, no matter how many layers of clothes and/or sheets you put on, you still shiver. Solution? Easy: a masturbation, and goodbye to cold. You're already warm.

Due to strange circumstances of life, you've had a long period of sexual inactivity and it's been a while since you've emptied the balls. It's essential at times like these to give the handle a turn to avoid the discomforts of explaining nocturnal emissions.

You've met a great guy/girl and finally you've succeeded... when you get home you rub yourself to celebrate sex.

You're so calm, you notice something weird, you look down... Ah, here it goes! And what about this? You realize you're hard and don't know why. Well, since we're at it, we might as well make the most of it...

You're doing it simply because you're Alone at home. This guy masturbates thinking about anime.

You've left with a lovely young lady who will let you give free rein to your most base passions, but you don't want to leave a bad impression... what better than a good manual to avoid unpleasant system failures prematurely? There is a known subtype called Preventive, and it's the one you do when you have to speak in public and don't want to leave a bad impression because of an unexpected and unwanted erection (or if you're a girl, an unexpected moisture).

Well then, because you always touch yourself on Fridays at seven thirty and Saturday after lunch, so as not to lose good habits.

It's that which you do simply because it looks good conceptually to have done so. Or by quantity: 'I have to get to the seventh of the pull', usually disappears with puberty. Or by place: Also known as Flag in strange places, such as in class, or in the sacristy, where your teacher is waiting for you while you wait for them to come and get you... Or by time: 'I did it yesterday in two minutes, today I have to break my own record'.

The first one has a certain mystery to it, you don't know what's going to happen... Finally, it opens the doors to a new world, but it's a shame that it only happens once in your life, but it's UNFORGETTABLE, and from then on, almost every day of your life you'll be re-creating it.

Masturbating while others talk on Messenger

That is done in a state of solitude or anger, when the performer is angry with everyone and rubs off to calm down. Ejaculation in these circumstances occurs over a photo of the person/people one is angry with, accompanied by a satisfied vengeful smile that causes this action.

This type of masturbation is very dangerous and is used on special occasions such as Masturbatones. This one is applied with more force than normal and it's customary to shout '¡¡Wuuuuuaaaaaaa!!' as a battle cry and victory shout since it means this one is about to end and you've won against the other competitors in this art. Consequences: Leaves the handle red