Story of my first time giving (much pain) (gay).

I'm writing this almost 8 years after the event happened because I've always liked reading stories that made me want to tell what I lived, which I kept as a secret at the time with everyone who knew me and even today many still don't know out of fear they'll say I'm crazy (it was real 100%). I'm now 28 years old and relatively chubby, but at 20, where everything you eat goes to waste after two blocks of walking, added to doing a lot of exercise (I trained for 6 hours, 3 days a week, and played on Saturdays) plus my genetics help me have a pulpy and large butt, I was someone quite approachable, especially if my introduction when looking for my first guy is I'm ready to receive whatever you want to do with me. The thing is that, like any 20-year-old in Argentina, I didn't have money to go out and pay for a hotel to the first guy who crossed my path and wanted to get on top of me. So I had to plan the encounter when my family was away and generally everyone on dating apps looks for now. It turns out that one day I coincided with a boy who wasn't attractive, in fact, he seemed ugly to me, but it excited me twice as much, a relatively small penis (it would have been 14cm) and not at all thick, like maybe just a finger, but it excited me a lot that he wanted to break me open and be willing to come from far away, leaving his wife alone and worried only about being the first to open my ass. Clearly my attitude was that of someone inexperienced who thinks they're an expert after watching videos, I'd tell myself it seems very soft to have to dilate, I'm sure I can withstand the pain of whatever X, I don't remember his name, wants to do with me... (Innocent little dove...) We agreed to meet that night after dinner around 10/11, he came by train to Villa Urquiza where I lived at the time and told me if I find him at the Artigas station and then we'll go to his house. To 2 blocks After receiving the message that he was at a stop, I should be leaving, after all that sexting where he told me I would regret it and treat me like a spoiled slut. I had a racing pulse, a mix of impatience, fear, excitement, illusion, all together, wanting to know my blessing and punishment for that night, still believing I could handle him and my ass could take everything with tranquility. I search for him and when I see him get off the train, I say this is my last moment to run from my desired rapist, he was fat, relatively short, wearing simple clothes... it was all what one would say you wouldn't want under an elitist criterion, but I wanted him naked in my house. After arriving, I tell him to leave his backpack and I get down before he can realize how desperate I was for cock at that moment. He knew he had control, but never should have imagined a boy who was good would decide to give himself over to all his desires without saying no. I noticed by his impressed face when I took off his belt and told him I wanted to put it all in my mouth so it could grow inside me. Said and done, before he could even grab my head, I got everything into him until his hairy balls touched my jawbone. I couldn't believe it, finally having a cock asleep in my mouth, which would be responsible for making it grow and taking care of making it cum later. It had a certain smell and salty taste, clear, since he had made me travel two hours by train and hadn't let me arrive yet. Clearly, it didn't bother him at all that I was acting this way, to the point where just a few seconds later he was hard as a rock and I choked. I couldn't believe how hard it was! My erect one, in its best moment, seemed like Eva foam next to his!. Then he takes control and grabs my head, we were at the foot of a staircase, so he put his legs open (it seemed like he knew and sought what was about to happen) and I sat down. On the second step. He starts giving me a blow job and sucks wildly in my mouth to the point that I choke twice or three times more without pause, not letting me take a breath and making me vomit on him, leaving his penis still in my mouth even when I was vomiting everything I had eaten a while ago (if that was the introduction, I should have imagined that all that seemed very simple in internet video clips wouldn't be so easy). After vomiting three times, he forces me to turn over and looks at my anus which was virgin, shaved, and SUPER TIGHT, as he tried to put just one finger in by force but it didn't pass even by chance. Obviously, I wasn't calm or relaxed, my confidence had plummeted to the floor, a huge fart was coming. He must have pitied me because he put at least one finger in to dilate me for a few seconds, after which he didn't seem to care about my resistance, spat on my anus, aligned his cock, which was so hard it could have gone through a wall if he had wanted, and pushed with all his weight onto me. I opened my eyes in shock, felt like my soul had been opened up until the end, filled everything that could be filled, and what couldn't, felt like I was going to die from pain, was at a loss receiving thrust after thrust with my face pressed against the cold granite of the stairs. My anus was being brutally violated, and I didn't have a voice to scream or ask him to stop. A few seconds later, I started to recover my breath and only managed to let out some moans of pain, couldn't understand how it could hurt so much in my asshole, like all those wrong hole videos were so, but so unreal. (Of course, love shouldn't be about hurting your ass for everyone. Only someone with a lot of heat at 20 years old would think it should be pleasant). After two minutes, when my soul was starting to return to my body, my master tells me to come up, that he won't leave me, but that Let's go to a more comfortable couch or bed. So I climbed the stairs stumbling, with him following me closely as if to make sure his cock, which had entered like a lance thanks to the surprise, didn't come out. When we arrived, he sat down on a chair and told me it was my turn to move, I, seeing him naked and already sweaty sitting in the chair and forcing me to move, said well, I found my man and started jumping at him as best I could, probably looking bad, all bent over due to anal pain, but my intention of continuing was. After those eternal minutes, believing I would fall to the floor from the trembling of my legs, he told me I could rest my ass, that he was going to wash up (I imagine it must have gotten dirty inside me) and come back to continue sucking it. I took advantage and brushed my teeth because that triumphant entrance hadn't left me with the best breath, let's say. We went back to the chair to give him another blow job, now more relaxed, I could give those balls the care and attention they deserved. (Do we agree that it feels excellent to suck eggs? I would eat big, hairy eggs from anyone, what a wonderful experience!) The next order was to go to bed, without realizing it, we had been together for 40 minutes and he was far from finishing with me. The order was to lie down on my stomach, he wanted to finish the job. He got behind me and now I had no way of escaping, he weighed much more than me and there was no way of running away or even making him run, I accepted my fate, clenched my teeth and let him penetrate me again, this time more calmly and apparently I had relaxed a bit, more than pain I felt a slight discomfort. My lord then reclined, pressing my pulpy ass and part of my back with his belly, he knew it excited me to rub against each other, that I wanted him to take advantage of his figure to make me do that, and without realizing it, my ass was immobilized by his belly while he was a hammer entering and leaving. constant form, it was a machine. I felt its sweat droplets falling on my back, it was a sprinkler, it was splashing me all over, I couldn't believe how much it was sweating from being so soaked. I started to incite it to finish with words, telling it that I had already made myself its, that it was time for it to give me everything and asked it to hit my ribs like we had talked about, to beat me up if that turned it on, and said and done, it gave me a hard slap followed by a shut up slut and some pats on the torso (apart from wanting to end the session as soon as possible, vomiting and pain were starting to take their toll and if I didn't get my breath back I didn't want to be left looking like an idiot in front of my master). After about 10 minutes that seemed like an hour, I took what was mine well inside me, without a condom, without asking it to pull out, without asking for anything. It gave me one of those empty eggheads that had been lingering on my ass for a while before, not hesitating for a second. With me exhausted and unable to move, it started giving me soft slaps on the back to leave me breathless while wiping off the remaining semen from its member on my back, wanting to leave me with memories all over my body. After that, it showered while I was recovering and starting to tidy up the mess we had made, in the house and with myself. The sensation of something escaping from my sphincter was very strong since minute one, but now that it was open and empty it was even stronger, this lasted a good while along with the pain when walking or sitting, which lasted a day with me. I noticed while cleaning/arranging that if my master wasn't much of a talker because he only gave me some instructions and little else. He never asked if I could take it, if I was doing well, if I could handle its cock inside me. It was obvious, clearly I couldn't, but that's what came to, using me as he wanted, like a piece of meat and for his pleasure. After the shower, my master went home and my fears of irresponsibility started to creep in that I had committed, typical of a 20-year-old idiot, doing things and then thinking about the 'what could have happened if' of having been too much for giving myself to someone I didn't know without condoms, opening my house and body to a possible real rapist (everything he did was previously spoken, the surprise was due to my clear inexperience). But after some time and studies to corroborate if my mistake had consequences, everything continued normal and without surprises. It all went well but the mark of that rape stayed with me for life. I left things untried with him, since we never met again or crossed words, as he was from a Facebook group and we didn't meet up again in the same place. But that was the story of my first time, which wasn't an analysis of fantasy and pleasure, but rather about realizing how false the porn I watched was, how dangerous and addictive the 'rape' wave could be, since after that I masturbated infinitely thinking about how they used me that night, what I turned into during an hour and how to improve things to enjoy it more in a next occasion, which, if interested, now that I've found my account on these forums again, might relate with similar details. Only it was much less interesting, and with a trans girl. It's enough to say I'm from Argentina, Buenos Aires, and I'm not closed to looking for another discreet and passing experience. If someone is interested and is nearby, feel free to send me an MD and who knows, maybe we can coordinate (I don't promise anything, since today I have a life with work and faculty, little time leaves me). A greeting and I hope you liked my experience!