Let's say first that I come from a very Christian family and I've always grown up with a strong religious base about what the family is, about love, and especially about marriage... that a wife should always be for her husband and vice versa, and that no one can separate them, and well.... one thing is what they preach in churches and another thing is what happens at home because my parents started having problems and I didn't like the idea of them separating because I felt that my life was already miserable enough to add all my problems with a dysfunctional family so I just got depressed and entered a stage of my life where I was just an emo or goth who saw everything negative and wanted to feel rebellious and transgressive. Adding to this, I also became depressed thinking that everything was going wrong and that the only solution for problems was not to exist. So, well, I don't want to call myself a poser but apparently I was one because I did everything an emo of my time (you're talking about 2008) and I did everything that used to be done back then when you were emo except cutting yourself because honestly it scared me too much... But obviously I was familiar with the idea that cutting was for feeling pain because the complete idea is that one as a person is so worn out that they don't feel anything anymore, so they prefer to feel pain because feeling that pain makes you remember you're alive and you're not dead inside. And well, with this idea in mind, my brother's idea added up too because from a young age we were very close always being playmates, pranksters, and the truth is I spent a lot of time with him but when I entered adolescence I separated a lot from him due to all these existential crisis ideas, family problems, and depression and well... he was always someone very noble and tender with me but he was also very shy. It was difficult for him to maintain a friendship and obviously he wasn't popular with girls so he had never had a girlfriend. And thus in my 15-year-old brain, teenage Melanie came up with the idea of mixing things... if I was brave enough to cut myself off from myself but I liked the idea of feeling pain to feel alive and my brother wasn't very popular with girls and he was already at an age where he started to feel desire for girls then why not help my brother and at the same time find a way to feel pain? With that, the answer was clear in my mind and the result was anal sex... So my brother could satisfy his sexual libido and I could feel the pain that would make me feel alive.
Let's say first that I come from a very Christian family and I've always grown up with a strong religious base about what the family is, about love, and especially about marriage... that a wife should always be for her husband and vice versa, and that no one can separate them, and well.... one thing is what they preach in churches and another thing is what happens at home because my parents started having problems and I didn't like the idea of them separating because I felt that my life was already miserable enough to add all my problems with a dysfunctional family so I just got depressed and entered a stage of my life where I was just an emo or goth who saw everything negative and wanted to feel rebellious and transgressive. Adding to this, I also became depressed thinking that everything was going wrong and that the only solution for problems was not to exist. So, well, I don't want to call myself a poser but apparently I was one because I did everything an emo of my time (you're talking about 2008) and I did everything that used to be done back then when you were emo except cutting yourself because honestly it scared me too much... But obviously I was familiar with the idea that cutting was for feeling pain because the complete idea is that one as a person is so worn out that they don't feel anything anymore, so they prefer to feel pain because feeling that pain makes you remember you're alive and you're not dead inside. And well, with this idea in mind, my brother's idea added up too because from a young age we were very close always being playmates, pranksters, and the truth is I spent a lot of time with him but when I entered adolescence I separated a lot from him due to all these existential crisis ideas, family problems, and depression and well... he was always someone very noble and tender with me but he was also very shy. It was difficult for him to maintain a friendship and obviously he wasn't popular with girls so he had never had a girlfriend. And thus in my 15-year-old brain, teenage Melanie came up with the idea of mixing things... if I was brave enough to cut myself off from myself but I liked the idea of feeling pain to feel alive and my brother wasn't very popular with girls and he was already at an age where he started to feel desire for girls then why not help my brother and at the same time find a way to feel pain? With that, the answer was clear in my mind and the result was anal sex... So my brother could satisfy his sexual libido and I could feel the pain that would make me feel alive.
4 comentários - Emo anal... (Incesto)