Oh my god... I forgot how to write on this thing and I who use it all day the other one, that annoying ass... The thing is that in this thing are always the mares and Claudio has to use these fingers that look like prongs in a branch on a keyboard designed for using with the clitoris... I put a letter and they come out three, I'm going to hell in my dead sister Sonia's casket. These memories are disordered notes I had on my phone and which I'm gathering now with a cold that makes me want to shit in a post that is as inopportune as gas during the 69. In the summer, Claudio loaded up the bull with suitcases, little chairs, coffee tables, and an ice cream truck and went away for a few days to the beach with his family. I was walking around showing off my belly like a winner on Santa Teresita and from those nights and days, I got memories, boils, hematomas, and itching in my ass, along with experiences that I'm going to share:
TODAY: SEX ON VACATION: DON'T TOUCH YOUR COCK FOR THE LOVE OF GOD
One has the illusion that you're going to get laid more, let's admit it. You prepare, meaning you don't jerk off for 6 days, put the boss lady's lingerie in order, apply cream to the fungus there for a week or two and trim the southern grass with small scissors, finally taking that guy away with music (that multi-track one), everything needed to rekindle passion. You think the mares go out at night to dance... and you're left alone with the boss lady in a place that doesn't give a damn if the neighbors hear you and you're already getting off on the trip... If when I get to Atalaya, the young lady didn't know whether to hand me the package of condoms or hang it from the handle by the pole...Closet Encounters:The thing is like this, when you enter the apartment you realize it was much bigger in the photos. At that moment you understand your girls are going to sleep with their heads between your balls, more or less... and everything starts to complicate. The first night I already wanted to get it up and with everyone tired, and lying bum against cotorra, ended up taking mate and looking at Angie's photos with mariputita on the balcony. No, no way because I wanted to have the bug collection in my mouth for a discharge where it corresponded! But I had some strong urges, brother... some ganasssss!!!Level of fever (*)For the photos it could be 100, but for the situation 0 Kelvin (do the math, crap!)Tips for the situation:Pray to a miraculous saint, read the ass of the shampoo bottles in the bathroom, play a game from floor 10 with candy wrappers, don't touch your cock, for God's love!!!
MicrowaveFantasy of the bathroom, a full... I explained once that it's not convenient to fuck in the bathroom because it's dangerous, yes, already said, but this time one is on vacation... and then... The girls went for a walk, the landlady wants to take off her sunblock and I have my balls like two radiators of hot oil. I let her in and send her back like Pepe Pepe Pepe... When we're together, the first thing I notice is that the door doesn't close... don't laugh, it doesn't close because it takes a lot of effort to pass through, and comes the maneuver pa here, pa there, until it closes... now my ass is freezing against the tiles, pushing and sticking the handle on the landlady's ass, she screams because the hot water from the thermos tank reaches up to half my leg and one arm of hers. I try to put her under the cold shower and my little flute ends up the size of a mignon. But the stubbornness of her aunt Marta, because hell no they don't make the bathroom 20 cm bigger, don't see that when I turn around it doesn't give me... hernia?Level of fever:Cold ass, cold balls, Galician cold... I'm going to burst the thermometerTips for the situation:Tell the renter's son who is a slut that you're going to break the bathroom door with a 10 kg mallet, fill a tub with hot water for the final rinse, don't touch your dick, for God's sake!!!
3 - Powder in the WindYou want to put her on the beach one night... who didn't want to put it with the sound of the sea drowning out moans!!! Well, many did it I did it once when I was a guy with a divine girl who grabbed those Gesell pinecones and when we finished, I had all my hands cut off. This time already mature and without discharge since we arrived, I told the hostess... let's go to the beach at night? Grab trip... We arrive and it's freezing brother!!! Little man goes, little man comes, we spot a couple in the middle of fucking, it's mine! I say, shall we give it here?! The Galician girl looks at me, she had a wetsuit, leggings, snow pants, boots, and a polar fleece... I didn't get upset because I saw my face, I think I could see the cum droplets that were appearing between my whitened eyes by the moonlight... I agreed! We look for a hospital bed, and there we settle in... she says... I'm going upstairs and got to work with her feet here and there and her hands back and forth... it seemed like we were playing Twister in the shadows, and then, she started giving me head... at first... everything was going more or less well... until I noticed my ass was filling up with sand. I have hemorrhoids (do you remember that would be a sad pity?) the heat of the ass followed the balls... and that's when the cock disintegration ended like a pink watermelon coming out of my ass...Level of fever:Catalytic radiator, especially when your daughter tells you yesterday 'Dad stop walking like an orangutan because you're old!' and my uncle Alfredo's jugular vein...Tips for the situation:At the beach by day and for two things... I'll be spinning yarns and spotting booty, leave the night for the dudes, sing radio warning song while waiting for the grill to heat up, keep an eye out that they're using TNT, don't touch my cock, for love of God!!!
4 - Peep Toe Boots:You turn back to the beach the next day and the girls stayed in the center because they're two friends with parents, you're having dinner at someone's house tonight, you've got just enough time for a quickie... Since you've got sand, the Galician girl doesn't compromise and refuses to use the bed, desperation can get to you and you start going up like saying... run like the wind!!! and more or less you start putting her. Did you notice you had your flip-flops on? Did you notice that retreating with flip-flops isn't possible? You barely want to settle in (after two shakes, I was already puffing like a buffalo and my pants were getting all bunched up) you end up going to hell in the middle of the dust (which must be around 6 shakes with the cum you accumulated) you already had your ass burning and your balls on fire, now it hurts even down to the hairs of the cock. Don't get hot explaining how the hell you got those hematomas, at this age varicose veins burst from nothing!!!Level of fever:Diesel fuel forge. This leaves you like a goose, the dead bug and at the start of the board!!! Same as I burn in flames!Tips for the situation:Watch 100% fight like this you learn to fall with more grace next, Play guessing who falls first into the banana water that's seen from the balcony and think they look sillier, don't scratch your ass, don't touch your cock, for God's love!!!
American blindThere's sun but it's windy, the landlady is taking advantage to wash clothes and you're such a good husband, you'll take her out to the balcony. It's a double building and from the ropes you can see your apartment. The older girl leans out and happily exposes her breasts to take in some sun... (because at night she doesn't want more marks... I don't even want to think about it because she doesn't want marks on her breasts) At that moment, you see your neighbor who's happily... spying on your young lady as she's lying down, pulls out his cock and starts masturbating... like this, like this... Are we all crazy? What do I do, should I throw a wet sock at him and undress him? Should I fart? Should I kick him until I have an orgasm? Should I applaud?Level of fever:Volcano (if I grab it, I'll pull out its eyes to the outside after setting its eggs on fire until the bone (do they have bones?) and my cousin Alejandra's stubborn blue casket (she has a blue one, don't ask how she got it or how it was done)Tips for the situation:Look the other way, cry in silence, think there are few days left, don't touch your cock, for God's love!!!
6 - Time for revenge:The girls want to buy souvenirs and clothes (because they always want clothes?) and you end up alone with the chairs, the mate equipment, and the ice cream maker at the apartment. You peer out the balcony without opening the window and see a beautiful thin woman leaving the apartment where the guy jerked off the day before. She's freckled, you can't see well but you guess she has spots and piercing eyes, a jean mini-skirt that starts to open with buttons, barely steps outside... and lies down on a recliner with her melons in the wind... Revenge is a dish that serves cold but this time it seems like hot empanadas from an autoclave. Peel off your pants and you'll make yourself a championship masturbation... pos powder, clean up the scattered guys and feel happy for taking revenge. That night walking through the center you run into the guy with the woman and daughter. They're in front of a clothing store and you feel like the young lady says pointing to a party dress in the window, 'Maaaaa I want one like that for my 15th...' and at that moment you realize it's a kid... from far away she didn't seem like it, I swear that... use the word: pussy of my reclusive grandmother Dionisia, I'm a degenerate son of a slut, I have to cut myself off and give it to the roosters... not better than the roosters no... but I have to cut myself off anyway!!Level of fever:Burn daddy, between eggs and slaps and I'll crush a piece of metamphetamines before you can smell itTips for the situation:Buy binoculars if you're short-sighted, confess, buy all the clothes your daughters ask for but make them wear it well, I was younger, don't touch yourself, for God's sake son of a great prostitute!!!
Epilogue:Tomorrow when I get back, load the car, look at the beach, buy alfajores, check if the mate is ready and turn around, on the way you think, 'Next year I'll bring the console that I discovered to the girl and make her scream until the waves go against each other and Poseidon's renegade poronga in balls...!!!' It may sound silly after what happened, but hope guys, it's the last thing that gets lostThe level of heat, isn't what it seems...
Claudio hugs you, Good Night!
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54 comentários - El sexo en las vacaciones (Humor)
la verdad, en junio pedi vacaciones y mi seño tambien..... seran las primeras vacaciones juntos pero leyendo tu inicio del relato, creo que mejor separare cupo para verme los partidos del mundial!
😀 😀 😀 😀 😀
Gracias por tomarte el laburo de leer y escribir...!!! la cajeta de Ale es azulada y la mina pa darle un toque aun mas deep blue, se tiñe los rulos de abajo con tinta azul... Ella dice que fue porque una vez le destiño un pantalon y le gusto el efecto... pa mi que es verso... Esta muy pirada la piba... muy... abrazos!!!!
Ooooooooooooh my friend!
Esto es tremenda historia!
jeje saludos capo! 😀 😀 ,
😀 😀 😀 😀 😀 😀
Un día volvió y dijo !!!!
Que genio !!!
Lo que me haces reír con tus delirios !!!
Grande !!!!
Dejé puntines amigo !!!!
Gracias por compartir.
Angie te deja Besos y Lamiditas !!!
La mejor forma de agradecer la buena onda que se recibe es comentando, al menos al que te comenta. Yo comenté tu post, vos comentaste el mío?
Compartamos, comentemos, apoyemos, hagamos cada vez mejor esta maravillosa Comunidad !!!
Mi pésame a tu chota, y pienso también en la pobre patrona, porque ella también estuvo con medios-garches durante las vacaciones y la canilla en el orto... 🙄
Ahora como explico en el laburo que estoy en poringa a las ocho de la mañana??jajaja
Un groso Ud como siempre...
Besos geniooo
Pero que regreso!!!! así vale la pena esperar jajajajjaja
Excelente! Me reí a mares 🙌
Gracias por compartir y por dejar comentar 👏
Capo!!!!
abrazos capo!!!
Lo mio fue una desgracia, pero se fue acomodando o algo asi igual vengo con atraso!!! Besosss y gracias por pasar!!!!
Pasen por mis anecdotas
http://www.poringa.net/posts/relatos/2545709/Mer-Mis-Anecdotas-6-Intrusa-en-asado-de-Pablo-y-amigos.html?notification#last
Besooos
Mer