master.....!!
you're going to like it 😀 😀 😀 😀 😀 😀
Monday:
I come home nervous and excited today I'm going to put my plan into practice to surprise my wife and have a wild night of sex. I've decided to shave, pubis, testicles, and leave myself smooth like a virgin CD, let's see if the marital thing gets animated, which has been on the decline lately. As I have no idea how to do it, I ask for advice from a forum friend who also shaves, since I've seen her picture.
Leo and note down her tips:
- first cut with hair clippers
- use foam or gel
- pass razor, never against the grain
- then apply moisturizing cream
It doesn't have to be so hard, all the girls in the photos I'm into have their pubic area like a computer screen, so I get home and start working.
Let's see first the hair clippers. This is easy. I try to think of El Fary maintaining homosexual relationships with Tinkywinky, because the buzzing of the machine on my balls is getting me excited, and as I get...
I finish the first shaving with the machine. pussy, it's great, now I have the same cut on my head, beard, and cock, I'm a mess. I start with foam....jajjajaja it looks like my dick is a Christmas tree, I make a fool of myself in front of the mirror Aaaaaahhhhh! a wild penis !Aaaaahhhh! Well, back to the point, don't get distracted.
fuck you, the razor. They're going to shit, it's the Guillete Machh3 Turbo tdi 16v. This one cuts more than Friday the 13th's saw. I lift my scrotum to have better vision first doubt; let's see if I do it in the direction of hair growth! pussy! what is the direction of hair growth on a ball? crap, I have a round testicle (what's rare?, the hairs don't seem to have a direction, they just grow out, well, it doesn't matter. I start passing the razor carefully, although I can't avoid giving myself a little pinch. I look to see if by the cut I just made on my ball, the little chick is showing. No spermatozoa in sight. I've had it rough, especially when I got to the area near Sauron's eye, almost at the back, but things didn't go too badly.
I attacked the other egg, more of the same, like a joke:
-¿Manolo, do you know I have a condition?
-No kidding and what is that?
-A hanging egg and another one just the same.
I'm going to attack my thighs, almost hairless except for the area closest to the scrotal bag. No problems. It's as smooth as the buttocks of a 15-year-old roller-skating girl.
I touch the upper part without any problems. Shave and hot water... it seems I notice some stinging in certain areas. They'll be tiny cuts. I look at myself in the mirror. Oh, what an impression!
It seems like I'm going back to being 10 years old and I don't mean because of the size of my penis. I mean because of the baldness. But something's off.
I observe several deficiencies. I see hairy legs and arriving at the thighs, a bald spot. The same happens with the belly, a canal of hair from the navel to the package!zas! They look like Chernobyl mountains. And behind it's even worse, how am I going to carry a hairy ass that when I turn around it looks like autumn has arrived?...it's a shame.
Calm down, don't panic. There are still two hours before my wife arrives. I have time, foam, razors, and the pulse of a surgeon (with cirrhosis, if you will).
There's no other remedy. First, the ass. Has anyone ever depilated their ass alone? While doing it, I feel like I'm the first one to try it. I twist myself until my spine cracks just to see myself, but I can't, so I do it without looking. Shit! I forgot to pass the machine over me, well, it doesn't matter now. I get to the area of the anus and since I don't see anything, fuck you, a mirror of my wife's that she uses to depilate her eyebrows.
I put myself on the bed like a woman in labor, with the wall mirror and the hand mirror. I do some poses until I can see my ass. Pussy! So much time together and we barely knew each other. A few minutes later and after passing my hand over the back of it, I stop noticing... hairs. ¡Shaved ass!.
After that, the legs don't have difficulty. The torso I do by reading Hello. Joer with the King, like he had a good time in Morocco's visit. Well, then two razors and half a bottle of foam later! I don't recognize myself! Pussy! I look like an athlete, it's so fresh! The air makes tickles on areas that were previously covered. I'm not sure if I should put paper scraps on the hairy bits, like I do with my beard. But I decide not to, so my wife doesn't see me and kicks me out! What a more beautiful mummy disguise!
A shower to clean up the rest of the hairs and foam, and with the shaver, I'm going over some stragglers. This feels good, I feel clean, I don't know, like it's more hygienic without so much hair. The cream moisturizer is left. Let's go, I search among my wife's cosmetics. There are weird things, for a moment I doubt. Am I looking in the furniture restoration stuff?
Leo: lifting, reaffirming, anti-age, cum remover, moisturizing, just what I'm looking for. I hope it will do for the whole body.
I start applying cream in the same order as I shaved. Joer, so it'll be all moisturizing you want, but it stings like my mom's slut. I'm applying cream while everything is burning. Joer, jo, now I understand when girls have a hard time with depilation.
When I finish, I look like an anchovy in a tin. I have to hold onto the bed because I slip on the floating floor. I mentally note the name of the cream, in case my wife ever leaves me and lets me practice anal sex. With this, I put it away and think it's the little toe. Again, not joer, not because of the size, but because the cream slides off.
I rinse off my whole body. It looks like I have a mad ant hill on my balls. I get dressed and go out to take the dog for a walk, hoping this thing will calm down. But horrible, anyone who sees me will think I have a car battery plugged into my balls. I'm walking around like They'll let me out of these downloads, it's all scratching me, it's like it's on fire.
Something's up, I get home and undress. Oh my god! I'm redder than Llamazares. Uhhhhhh, what have I done, what have I doneooooo. But if I followed Paty's instructions. Maybe the girls have the most resistant cream? I decide to take another cold shower and it calms down, but where I scratched me, it still hurts (literally)
I wait like a champion for my wife to come, she knows me like the palm of her hand, so as soon as she walks in the door, she says something's up It's like when I say it, I'm going to buy a helmet for my motorcycle that's on offer for 175 euros and I come back with one for 399. As I walk in the door, she has the same face she has now.
-Did you really do something?
-How much did it cost?
-Have you been doing it for a long time?
-No, no, no...it's not that kind of mess...look
I undress and show her my work. I look like a German in Torrevieja on August 2nd or a shrimp from Huelva.
-Ay, the mother who gave birth to you, but if you're still in the flesh
-I did it because...I wanted to give you a surprise...I wanted to shave my balls and soooo...but of course it didn't work out and I kept trying
-But how did you do it, with an axe?
-No. But I think it was the moisturizer. It started to sting me
-What moisturizer did you use?
-The one for removing makeup?
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Wednesday
Finally, the itching has passed. The worst part was my butt, I scratched myself like I had worms. It looked like I had planted my anus in a beehive. My chest still hurts and the genital area.
I've scratched so much that a friend asked me Dude...haven't you gone to prostitutes and they gave you something? No, I explained what happened. So he stopped talking to me because he's friends with my wife and thought I was a prostitute.
Today I'm going to try to make love to my wife. These two days I haven't even touched myself. Any movement irritated some the zone of my body and I would scratch myself while they watched as my penis (the only zone of my body that wasn't irritated) went down. Now I feel much better, almost nothing itches me, I don't have anything irritated. Yesterday I had red pimples all over my body, like mosquito bites. My wife said, 'you had every pore on your body angry with you' But today it's going to get rid of itself. Yes, I'll tell her to spread her legs at the edge of the bed. I don't want scratches.
An Ormal... every day you're more crazy... better I'm leaving flying 😀 😀 😀 😀 😀
49 comentários - How to shave your testicles without dying in the attempt.
Igual... lo peor de afeitarse los huevos es cuando empieza a crecer los cardos de nuevo... Como pica carajo! 🙎♂️
hijo de re millllll tiene razon pablo como me cague de risa con este post
jajajajajajajajajaja!!!!!!!
Estas re loco amigo!!!! 😛 😛 😀
Muy buen relato!!
besis
esperamos la versión en guaraní
GRACIAS POR PERMITIRNOS SOÑAR
LLUVIA DE BENDICIONES!!!
brujo777 P! después del amor mi mejor compañía
en el idioma que sea,me hiciste cagar de risa.
(entre nos,yo pase por una experiencia similar)
creo que nunca mas!!! jajajajaja.
ahora maquina electrica y peine de corte nº 2...
!!gracias por compartir !!!!!!!
rodolfo322 P!oringuero
Saludos master y seguire los consejos de este post..... 😀 😀 😀
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😳 😳 😳 😳
20 points ni imagine que les iba a gustar
gracias a todos los que pasaron...
y a los que dieron puntos
si hacia para mi cuenta novato ya estaba cerca de full user
maldito vampiro loco
damn it 🙎♂️ 🙎♂️ 🙎♂️ 🙎♂️ 🙎♂️ 🙎♂️ 🙎♂️ 🙎♂️ 🙎♂️
An.. relac
damn it
eso no se hace ...
mejor me voy volando 😀 😀 😀 😀 😀
grazias my friend
un post de la hoztia realmente
😀 😀 😀 😀 😀
y sigue creciendo
gracias my friend
sos un genio....
+10
Gracias por la magia.
Como se nota que este es de España xDDD
Lo que me pude reir joder, increible que humor que tiene el colega, y su mujer igual!!! 😀 😀
Yo también lo hago, y una vez le pillas el truco ni granos ni cortes ni nada, de P.M. 😃
Increible vampi, me lo llevo a favoritos esto tiene que ser leido por colegas valencianos... 🙎♂️ 🙎♂️ 🙎♂️
Muy buen post, tremendas risas me eché!! 😀
PD: Por dios la desmaquilladora put.. animal... 😀
Joder que eztaba buenìzimo!!!
😀 😀
sigue creciendo
gracias justi98, Raveon y Relojero...
gracias amigos..
No se si ponerme trocitos de papel en los cortecitos, como hago con la barba. Pero decido que mejor no, no vaya a verme mi mujer y me suelte ¡anda! ¡que disfraz de momia mas guapo!
Hay cosas rarísimas, por un momento dudo. ¿No estaré buscando en las cosas de restauración de muebles?.
juaaa juaaaa imperdible joer!!! 😀 😀 😀
lareinadelnilo
la banda de P!
gracias reina del nilo
que suerte que te gusto 😃 😃
thanks my friends 😃
🤤 🤤 🤤 🤤 🤤 🤤 🤤 🤤 🤤 🤤 🤤 🤤 🤤 🤤 🤤 🤤 🤤 🤤 🤤 🤤 🤤 🤤 🤤 🤤
😉 😀 😀
gracias man
conste que este post lo hice en noviembre 😉
No me depilo ni que me lo pidan la Rubia, Loly y todas las Diosas Poringueras de rodillas a cambio del mejor pete de mi vida !!!!
Que se vayan a cagar !!!!
Rubén
Gracias por compartir.
Besos y Lamiditas !!!
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en esta parte me empece a descostillar de risa
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TERRIBLE MASTER!!! SOS UN GENIO!!! 😉 SALUDOS!!!
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