First time with a distant cousin (gay)

Everything started more than 15 years ago. Today at my 30 years old, I remember the whole situation as if it had been yesterday.I was on summer vacation visiting distant relatives I didn't know until that moment. At that moment in my family there were no cousins or relatives of my age so I always stayed alone playing or watching TV.
Everything changed when I met a distant cousin, 4 years older than me, dark-skinned, well-marked, athletic and with a well-defined package, which I observed from the first moment I saw him.
One day I found myself alone watching TV in his room, since he had gone out to play soccer and my family was spending the afternoon by the pool due to the heat. When he arrives and sees me lying on his bed, he's surprised but tells me to stay as there was no problem, while starting to undress for a bath, leaving him only in boxers with a towel tied around his waist. While I got water in my mouth seeing that body and marked bulge.
As I returned from my shower, he lay down beside me while we watched a movie. And suddenly he asked if he could get massages on his legs because they were sore after playing soccer. I agreed without issues, started giving him massages first on one leg and then the other, honestly I don't know if I was doing it well or badly, but I loved being able to touch those legs. At a moment, he asks me to do it higher, to give him massages on his entire leg and when I'm going up, reaching his groin, he grabs my hand and takes it to his bulge, which was slowly growing.
I withdraw my hand quickly, but it takes it back saying to me: I know you like it, I see how you look at the package all the time, give me massages on the cock too. I continue with my massages over the short, feeling how the cock grows a little bit, until it lowers it and I start masturbating it. It asks me for a kiss on the head, and although I was refusing, I wasn't resisting much, I just had to insist once. I kept giving her kisses, until I put it in my mouth and started sucking it, it was the first time someone ate me like that, and with great inexperience I passed my tongue and stuck only my head in the mouth since it was very big.
In a moment it stops, I was lying on my stomach in bed and with one tug he took off my short, spat in his hand and started playing with my Booty, I was begging him not to but it didn't matter much to him, all he asked was that I make no noise, in case someone from the family came into the house. He gives me a pillow to put in my mouth so I won't make any noise while he continued to moisten my Booty and slowly started slipping his finger in. He asks me to open my Booty with my hands and I feel like it's starting to go in slowly, I start screaming from the pain, muffling myself with the pillow while he keeps asking me to hold on for a bit, only putting his head in because it was big and hurt quite a lot, this went on for a bit until he pulled out, then asked me to suck him again and I came inside her mouth.
I lift up my shorts and go to the bathroom to spit out all his cum and wash myself, there I feel like I had my Booty open and all wet. When leaving, I cross paths with his sister who asks us to make a run and asks me if I was okay because I was walking weird.
While walking to the store, my cousin asked me if I liked what we did, I responded that I didn't, it hurt me, I only liked sucking her.
That same night, I went down on her again since we were sleeping in the same room (next to my brother and his brother). During the following days, it was either supporting each other or me touching her ass and my Booty, every time we could or no one saw us. Until one day we stayed alone at home and I was her slut for 5 hours.
It's the first time I'm motivated to write about this situation, I hope you like it.

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