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Compendium IIIHello to all.
As the title says, with Jacinto's birth, I've had to catch up with the girls, so I have a lot to tell. But I have to start by admitting something that feels almost shameful: fear for my son.
Not in the sense that I don't want to be a dad. On the contrary, I'm very grateful that Marisol agreed to expand our family. But my fears come from failing at it.
I look at Jacinto, so small, fragile and tender. The enormous, clumsy nerd who resides in me (that disorganized and distracted part that I've never been able to leave behind) terrifies me that he might end up hurting him somehow.
I'm not talking about being unable to change his diapers or feed him. That's the least of it. But I'm talking about holding him, having him in my arms. It's something that paralyzes me, almost to the point of losing control, imagining the worst.
What if I drop him? What if I make a mistake?
Marisol laughs at me, saying I'm being ridiculous. That with the little ones and our Alicia, I was a responsible father and my conscious part recognizes she's right.
However, the fear remains: Jacinto is so small, so new, so lovely, and I don't trust myself not to mess up.
But also, I tried to prepare the girls. We sat down at the table and I explained that for a while, things might change a bit. Marisol and I won't be as available or attentive as we were before. I assured them we'd be there to help, but I asked them to let us know if they ever felt ignored.
I needed them to understand it's not because we love them less, but because taking care of a new baby is chaotic.
Verito and Pamela took it naturally. They already knew the routine. Even told me I was a good dad, which melted my heart.
But our youngest, Alicia, had a different request. She asked me to keep telling her stories for bedtime, a ritual that She loves it. Verito and Pamela joined us and I promised all of them that I would do so. And it was then that I also apologized to Alicia. She has always been Marisol's shadow and I know it will be difficult for her. My nightingale won't be able to give her the attention she's used to for a while. It will be my responsibility to fulfill that role. I'm already used to being the analytical and reflective dad, whom they come to when they want to resolve a problem or need help. But our Alicia is so used to seeking her mother's attention that it will take time for us to get used to it, so I asked for patience and assured her I would be just as present for her as I have been with her sisters and brother. Alicia, with the grace of her mother, gave me a hug and a smile. That smile, so tender and full of understanding, almost broke my heart. It made me realize that maybe, I hadn't been as disconnected from her as I thought at first. But finally, getting back to what makes me write here, my nightingale and I conversed on Sunday night.
So, will you go to school tomorrow to drop off Bastián? - she asked with a sweet and melodious voice, while breastfeeding our son in our bedroom.Yes. I'll also take the girls to academy. - I replied without thinking, while packing my things for the next day in a bag.
She came closer to me, putting her hand on my hip. I looked at her intrigued, noting her playful emeralds, a smile and a timid and indecisive expression.
Why... don't you take some time... to greet Emma and her friends? - she asked, trying not to be upset, with her low and seductive voice like a seductive sigh.
I immediately tensed up.
What? What are you talking about? - I consulted completely confused.
Marisol smiled again, stood up straight and gave me a delicious kiss on the lips, pressing her body against mine.
You know what I mean! - she whispered smilingly, as if it worried her that the girls might be listening. - You've been so good lately, so strong and diligent, that I think you deserve a small reward...
My wife's eyes sparkled with amusement and her smile was perfect and grateful.
Plus, I can take care of Jacintito on my own. - she finished proudly.
My eyes passed from confusion to painful understanding.
Believe me, in this time, making love has been one of the last priorities. With the girls and Bastián, household chores, taking care of my wife and worrying about work keeps me constantly active and I'm aware that these levels of constant adrenaline will eventually catch up with me.
But I insist that staying away from Marisol still bothers me.
What if something happens? - I asked my fears with my voice on the verge of breaking. My hands holding tightly to the strap of my bag.
Marisol kissed me again, her lips calming me like a lullaby for my spirit.
Trust me! - she insisted, making one of her irresistible pouty faces. - I can take care of... Jacinto. And if something happens, I'll call you. I promise. Please, my love! It hurts me so much to see you so tense and unsatisfied and makes me feel so useless not being able to make you happy.
Still, my anxiety refused to let go of the woman I loved, so I held her by the hands
-You know it's not like that. Nightingale, you make me so happy in different ways. – I explained, getting lost in your serene green eyes. – Besides, what will happen to you?
Marisol smiled again, sweetly hurt because I didn't want to obey her...
+I know, my love! – she insisted with a sparkling smile. – But knowing you're hot makes me think of doing things with you that I know Erin won't agree with, do you understand now?
It was in those moments that I could understand: it wasn't about my lust, but Marisol's struggle against her impulses to make love again after giving birth.
And despite not knowing it at the time, my nightingale was 100% right, although I'll narrate it later.
-Okay! – I agreed with a sigh. - But you must promise me that, in any eventuality, you'll call me.
Marisol also sighed relieved...
+Of course, my love! Who else can I call? – she asked playfully.
And that night, we went to sleep.
But what Marisol said was true: our abstinence was affecting us both.
At dawn, Marisol's anxiety made her wake up much earlier and found the delightful surprise of my morning erection rising under the sheets.
The lack of her maternal bulge gave her all the facilities to give me a suck, pleasure that I had missed in the last months of pregnancy.With great stealth, she slipped under the sheets and undressed my dilated member. The taste of my penis seemed celestial to her and my wife felt like floating on a cloud as she gave me pleasure.
Passionately it devoured me with her mouth, feeling the heat and power of my arousal as she made a deep throat for me. The intimacy of the act was irresistible to her, the taste of my pre-seminal liquid tasted like nectar and the rubbing of my glans against her tongue seemed like a feast from the gods.The finishing touch for my nightingale was thinking as her head rose and fell at a maddening and greedy pace over my manhood, it was not only knowing that I wouldn't be the only one to enjoy me that day, but the idea that I would make another woman happy only increased her arousal.
When I woke up, the situation was completely out of control: Marisol was sucking me with such intensity and rhythm that I could hardly contain myself.And when I came, Marisol put it in all the way to the base: her hot and warm tongue wrapped around my base, while my glans pressed against her uvula, firing each explosion at the tip of her throat.As a boa constrictor, my wife remained in that position taking every drop of my ejaculation, drinking it anxiously. She even took the time to lick me clean with her greedy tongue.I think I never saw her more beautiful, with her cat-like gaze and devilish smile.
-Am I a bad dad for saying how much I missed the way you wake me up? - I asked, kissing her while feeling the acidity of my juices.
+I don't know! - she replied laughing, still caressing my calmer penis. - But I can tell you how much I missed having you as my breakfast.
But I could understand more of Marisol's conflict then. As a mother, her instincts are to care for our little Jacinto, but as a woman, she yearned for that physical connection with me.Lust had become an itch that couldn't be scratched, and it became even more intense when I saw myself getting ready to leave, imagining the busy day ahead of me.Next post
1 comentários - PDB 64 Poniéndome al día (I)
Qué manera de desayunar !!!