When Covid 19 pandemic ended, I had in-person classes with a teacher who flirted with all young female students. My classmates are usually in their early twenties. From the first day, I found it funny how a group (which sat at the back, same row as me) mispronounced words. I would laugh quietly using my mask. Until I noticed that the teacher realized I was laughing at the silly jokes they were making and every time one of them said something stupid (because they didn't understand the text or because their life depended on it), he would give me a direct stare. He has the same staring style as mine: straight into the eyes. Do you know what type of gaze I'm talking about? That which doesn't let you look away, that pierces your eyes, expecting you to be embarrassed and asks a silent question. It's the gaze that says everything without saying anything. I know how to read it because I use it all the time. When he looked at me like that, he was challenging me to correct the nonsense being said by the girl of the moment. Something I wasn't planning on doing, so I tried to stop laughing and start participating in class to show that I did study and wasn't just laughing for fun. The classroom interactions changed with my participation because those who actually studied started participating too, and the conversations became much more interesting. Although the girls at the back still played along with the teacher, the new dynamics of the classroom made the class less tedious. On the day of the first exam, I was without a car and since classes ended at 10 pm, I needed to figure out how to get home without taking the train, basically all I needed to know was where the TALP stop was headed towards Cruce Varela. So I asked my classmates and teaching assistants and one of them promised to find out while I took the exam. The thing is that the dude left the classroom when the exam started and when he returned, he left a paper on the table with the addresses of the three nearest stops. He barely got back to his place next to the desk, and the professor asked him what he had given me. The assistant explained my problem, and the prof offered to take me home since it was on his way, as he lives in CABA. I told him not to bother. And he said think about it. I didn't accept because I would feel uncomfortable with him in the car, especially knowing that from La Plata to CABA you go by highway and to get to my house I would have to take Centenario, which would imply a 40-minute detour. So I took the bus back home. Around 23:30, they sent me a WhatsApp from an unknown number. It was the assistant asking if I had arrived safely at home. I explained that I hadn't yet. And he asked me to write when I got there because the professor was worried about me. I thought it was weird and sweet in equal parts. So when I arrived, I sent him a 'I'm here'. He replied ok. And that was it. A few days later, when the partial notes were posted on campus, I was surprised to find out that more than half of the commission had been postponed, and only two of us had a grade above 7. The bottom ones were all postponed. In the WhatsApp group, everyone was very angry, but the four at the bottom were unbearable, complaining about how hard the exam was. (It wasn't hard, just long, because there were 10 questions to develop. But absolutely nothing to answer if you had read). One of them asked me if I had a summary to study for the makeup exam that week and sent me the one I had made, and the young lady replied: - if I don't pass with your summary, I'll have to suck it up so she passes. She wrote it in the group, assuming she didn't know that at least one of the assistants was there because that group was the only place from where I could have taken my phone number. So I sent a private to the young lady to delete what she had written. But it was already too late. Complicated situation for the little one... In short. The next class, I took the make-up and while taking it, I gave normal classes to the rest. When the young lady handed in the exam, the professor told her: - If you studied from your fellow student's summary, you won't need to bring anything to eat…- the young lady turned red like a tomato. And I felt it was my duty to defend her. - It was meant as a joke. - The truth is that I didn't find it funny- the professor replied. - Maybe it wasn't funny to you, but that was her intention. - Her intention –he insisted, pointing at the girl– is to make people believe she can pass a subject in her career by doing sexual favors –he said standing in front of my desk and raising his voice, physically forcing me to look up at him, he sought to emphasize his power over me, so I stood up to shorten that distance, put my hands on the table to give emphasis to my posture and replied. - Oh! Lower your tone, you have no right to humiliate the girl. - I don't know what you're talking about, if this topic isn't for discussion. You should learn to distinguish which battles to fight and when to keep quiet. - I'll fight the battles that seem right to me and never let someone humiliate a girl in front of me. –that was my response. To which he replied: - You should listen to what the same girl you're defending says about you. -I looked at him as I used to do. - It doesn't matter what she might have said in general or specifically about me, that doesn't give you the right to humiliate the young lady. –I continued on my line. - Pack up your things and get out of my class. –that was his response- I'll think if I'll accept you for the rest of the quarter... I froze, looked around and everyone lowered their gaze. And that's it. What hurt me was that nobody defended me, not even the girl I was defending. Obviously, I left the classroom slamming the door. Being as hot as it was, I couldn't handle it, so I went to grab a soda at the faculty bar. Just as I had gone down one flight of stairs when the teaching assistant caught up with me and told me to calm down because I wasn't going to fail the course. He said the professor only wanted to show me that I was taking risks defending people who weren't worth defending. I told him it didn't matter to me what he taught, that it was a matter of principle, not staying silent in the face of injustice. The guy followed me up three flights of stairs as I ranted about how unfair the situation was. When we got to the ground floor, he followed me to the bar where we talked for a bit, him trying to get me to understand that the professor only wanted to give me a useful lesson. I convinced myself the professor was an idiot, so I left with all the intensity of not coming back. During my ride home, I calmed down and decided to drop the course. But the next day while I was at work, my cell phone rang with an unknown number. - Hello, is this Carina? - Yes, who's calling? - It's Sebastian, your professor... - I interrupted him gruffly. - My ex-professor. What do you need? He laughed on the phone. - You know it was never my intention to actually kick you out of the course; I just wanted to see how many of your classmates would come to defend you. - I'm glad I was a useful little rabbit in a hat – I replied ironically. Can I know the result of the social experiment? - Don't you imagine? – it didn't take much imagination to know, because nobody had said anything about it on WhatsApp. – Yes, I can imagine. – I responded, letting sadness seep into my voice. – Only the guy sitting next to you spoke up for you. – I said, imagining who my defender was. – Lucas – he said. That kid will never stop surprising me like the students of lawyers don't defend their colleagues. - Being practical, Lucas and I are the only two who passed the first partial exam. The rest depends on the note of the recovery exam –defend the indefensible. - You know it's not that, right? – insisted-. - Yes. - Well, I just wanted you to know that obviously you're very welcome in the commission, and apologize if my experiment caused you any discomfort. With a sigh that came from the deepest part of my soul, I accepted his apologies and said goodbye to him and decided to let the water flow under the bridge. A couple of weeks went by where everything seemed to have returned to its natural course. He used the incident to lecture about not staying silent in the face of injustices, that it was part of being a good lawyer, etc., etc., etc. I thanked Lucas for defending me, the girls started talking again, and I stayed out of it. A month later, as I left class, I realized I had forgotten to turn off the car lights. I sat behind the wheel, praying the battery would last long enough to start it. But it wasn't like that. So, since it couldn't be otherwise, I started hitting the steering wheel. While I was berating myself for being stupid. It was 10 pm and I was more than an hour from home. I was gloating in my stupidity when I felt a tap on the window. I turned around and there were the professor and his assistant, very amused at me hitting the steering wheel of the car. I rolled down the window and the professor asked what was wrong. I summarized the situation and asked if either of them had cables to pass current. The assistant replied that he didn't and the professor said he had no idea how they were. He explained it to me and told me he would check in the trunk of the car. To make a long story short, neither of them had any, so I called roadside assistance. 90 minutes of delay had to send my car for mechanical service... <> thought. I told them the good news and Sebastián offered to go buy something to eat for dinner. He bought some hamburgers at the McDonald's that is a block away from the faculty and we ate that sitting on a bench on the sidewalk, while talking about a million insignificant things. I noticed that Sebastian had a very sharp sense of humor and his conversation was so relaxed and varied. By eleven the assistant said he was leaving. I thanked him and freed both of them from the commitment to wait another half hour. Sebastian decided to stay with me anyway. We kept talking about nothing in particular. Until he told me: - if you keep looking at me like that, I'll do what you've been asking for almost two months now. –I looked at him sincerely confused-. - what am I supposed to be asking? –I asked- - you've been asking me to kiss you all quarter-. - pardon? What was I doing? -That was my off-guard response-. it seems to me that you're confusing me with the girls who sit behind me -I added. - they are just kids playing at being adults -he manifested- they have no idea what they want. Instead, you're an adult who knows what you want and found a way to get my attention by facing me. - I'm not sure if you give me too much credit or think too highly of yourself -I said- but nothing is further from reality than your interpretation of my feelings or intentions. - come on, first you look at me with a smile all the time, then you came up with that story about not knowing where to take the bus, later the defense of Zoe (the young lady in the back), and then your passive-aggressive attitude over the phone... - nothing to do with it -I cut him off, because I couldn't keep listening to that load of nonsense-. Look Sebastian, it seems you see what you want to see every time and not reality: I never take the bus, if I don't come in my car I take the train. But at ten o'clock at night didn't seem like a good idea. Second, I already told you I would defend any woman... Now it was his turn to shut me up. But he did it by grabbing my neck and kissing me. I remained Because I didn't expect it for a few seconds and then I returned the kiss. I don't know how long we kissed, on that concrete bench, by the faculty entrance. But a car horn startled us and we separated. I looked and saw a Fiat Uno parked in double file next to my car. Help had arrived. We approached and the helper took about 40 seconds to start the car and check the alternator charge. He suggested leaving it on for a few minutes so it could charge a bit. Sebastián came over and told me to call him when I got there, so he'd know I was okay. He gave me a kiss on the lips and left. I got in my car and started driving home, confused and wanting much more than adolescent kisses on a plaza bench. Arriving at the distributor, I realized I didn't have his phone number. I shrugged it off. I didn't think about it too much. I got home without any major incidents, although I couldn't stop thinking about how he had eaten my mouth. His lips were warm and soft, his tongue playing with mine. While his possessive hand guided my head for deeper... well, I had managed to disable all my cognitive functions with a single kiss. Ten minutes after getting home, a WhatsApp message arrived from him. He asked if I'd arrived okay. I told him yes and he said if I could see him the next day at his office in Capital. He explained that I had to work in the morning and said to come at noon. I also knew we needed to talk. So I accepted. I spent all night and morning thinking about it. What do you say to someone who's eaten your mouth like that? I was worried about what could happen, since there was still half a semester left and he had to evaluate me. Although I'm a good student, I know these kinds of situations are hell for the person without real power. I arrived at his office in an official organization. They took me to their office. Very formal protocol. They invited me to sit down and asked what I thought about what had happened the day before. I don't remember what I said. I was so nervous that my knee would jump. He sat in the chair next to mine and supported my hand on my knee. - Why are you so nervous? - he asked. - I don't know - I replied sincerely -. - Stay calm, we're adults and you know what I want from you. If you don't want it, that's okay. Let's just forget this conversation happened yesterday. He explained that I didn't understand why he had kissed me. That I wasn't looking for that. As is logical, he started telling me how beautiful he thought I was, that he had been paying attention to me since the first class... etc., etc. Quite classic for a pickup. He went on kissing me and things started getting hotter. He started touching my breasts over my clothes and then put his hand inside my blouse. We were in an uncomfortable position (each of us in a chair, one next to the other). At one point he made me stop and leaned me against the desk so I could sit down. And he got between my legs and we kept kissing. I remember thinking it had been a long time since nobody kissed me that much and that well. I took off my sweater and bra and followed the same path. He lingered sucking and licking my nipples and trying to leave a mark on one breast (which I damn well don't understand) I started touching him between his legs and trying to unbutton his belt. Something I couldn't do and he had to do it himself. He kissed me again while I was pleasuring him. He whispered in my ear: - Suck it a little bit. And good, I got off the desk, got down on my knees and licked it from top to bottom, tracing with my tongue his smooth bald cock (it didn't have a single hair) I licked his bones and put them in my mouth. He grabbed my hair and guided my movements so that I could take it all the way to my throat. Something that complicated...
A little. He almost choked me a couple of times until I couldn't breathe anymore, and that was the end of his ability to manage the rhythm. He realized that I didn't like it (and who the hell can I like who leaves me without air or makes me gag?) when I pressed the cock with my teeth to regain control of the blowjob. He sucked me a little more until he made me come. I took off my pants and leaned against the desk. With the sheets stuck to the wood. He put on a condom and pushed it in all the way, moaning softly. It was a quick and deep fuck that made me come very quickly. I don't know how to explain it. The guy knew what he was doing. He took me from 0 to 100 in less than 5 minutes. And he made me come intensely. When he finished. And my brain started working, I felt more uncomfortable than before. I adjusted my clothes in silence.
You're everything I imagined. -He said.
Is that good or bad? -I asked, annoyed.
It's very good. Do you want to go eat somewhere? -He added, approaching me again for another kiss. And I felt like he was still excited. Which made me think about whether he had taken something. Because it's not normal for a guy his age. We saw each other a couple more times after that. Until one of the girls (with whom I had started to hang out to study) told me he was eating... And I cut it off (to put it bluntly) not because he was eating someone else. Not because I'm jealous or possessive and I knew that between us, sex only happened when we wanted it, and I was fine with that. But because I knew that young lady was screwing one of the student union guys. And honestly, I appreciate my health a lot. Even though we used condoms, I blowjobs without a condom and STIs worry me. I still had to take a final exam and present a TP to pass his course and I thought I could take revenge. But no. He gave me the grades I deserved. My average was 8.35. But he promoted me with a 9 and on the day he posted the grades to campus, he sent me a message that said you could have had a 10...
A little. He almost choked me a couple of times until I couldn't breathe anymore, and that was the end of his ability to manage the rhythm. He realized that I didn't like it (and who the hell can I like who leaves me without air or makes me gag?) when I pressed the cock with my teeth to regain control of the blowjob. He sucked me a little more until he made me come. I took off my pants and leaned against the desk. With the sheets stuck to the wood. He put on a condom and pushed it in all the way, moaning softly. It was a quick and deep fuck that made me come very quickly. I don't know how to explain it. The guy knew what he was doing. He took me from 0 to 100 in less than 5 minutes. And he made me come intensely. When he finished. And my brain started working, I felt more uncomfortable than before. I adjusted my clothes in silence.
You're everything I imagined. -He said.
Is that good or bad? -I asked, annoyed.
It's very good. Do you want to go eat somewhere? -He added, approaching me again for another kiss. And I felt like he was still excited. Which made me think about whether he had taken something. Because it's not normal for a guy his age. We saw each other a couple more times after that. Until one of the girls (with whom I had started to hang out to study) told me he was eating... And I cut it off (to put it bluntly) not because he was eating someone else. Not because I'm jealous or possessive and I knew that between us, sex only happened when we wanted it, and I was fine with that. But because I knew that young lady was screwing one of the student union guys. And honestly, I appreciate my health a lot. Even though we used condoms, I blowjobs without a condom and STIs worry me. I still had to take a final exam and present a TP to pass his course and I thought I could take revenge. But no. He gave me the grades I deserved. My average was 8.35. But he promoted me with a 9 and on the day he posted the grades to campus, he sent me a message that said you could have had a 10...
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