Chapter 3 My cousin Mara 3

SPOILER
SPOILER
SPOILER
If you didn't read 'My Cousin Mara: The Path of Temptation' don't go any further...I leave the complete third chapter of the third part of the story. It will always be subject to some final review, so it may have some added content later and corrections.

Although the main idea of the chapter is there.

Greetings!!

PD: I won't upload all of them, eh... I only do it because the wait is getting long jeje

I'm about to reach 40 chapters. I have little left...

CHAPTER III

It had been weeks that seemed endless.

It was late March and autumn was starting to be noticed.

I found myself alone, which was unusual in my life. Or at least it felt that way.

I only spoke with Mara once during all that time and only a few days after we broke up.

I only communicated with her to know how she was, but nothing more than that.

I hadn't stopped loving her. Obvious. And I wanted her to be well beyond everything.

As for Sabrina, I had no news. I had given my word that I wouldn't speak to her and, despite having broken up with her once, I didn't do it again. Plus, each silence, each rejection, tore me in two.

I also didn't know if she had talked to Mara again, but the lack of typical likes on her social media marked the pattern that things shouldn't be going well between them.

As for me, I lost 3 kilos in less than a month. And I was eating very little.

Almost never left my old lady's house and the only thing I did was go to the office when it was my turn.

I was broken inside. Truly. And my body felt it.

My beard had grown... so much that it looked like Stallone in Rocky IV, when he trained in Russia at the cold barn of the farm.

I had let myself go. Enough. But I suppose sadness acts this way.

I kept reliving that last night with Sabrina.

How hard it was to be without being able to tell her how much I missed her... How much I wanted to be with her...

To make matters worse, a day arrived that wasn't just another day.

Mara's birthday. present. In none of them.
Everyone already knew we were separated.
Of course, they didn't believe it, but neither did they know the true reasons.
It was her birthday and, at least, I had to write to her to wish her a happy birthday.
The problem was that I didn't know how.
I had been inventive a thousand times to tell her things or make her feel special. Or take a smile off her face when it was most difficult.
Now, I couldn't even say hello.
But okay, it was just an attention, it shouldn't cost so much, right?
I grabbed the phone and searched for the chat to write to her.
Of course, she had already changed the photo of us together.
She had one of herself alone, with her hair straightened to the side and looking down.
Her white skin, almost transparent, stood out on any screen.
I decided to write to her.
Hello, have a very nice day. Happy birthday!
I love you I wrote quickly.
I don't know why I sent that last sentence.
There's nothing worse than going from I love you to I love you.
And I couldn't delete it either...
God...
To top it all off, she saw it right away.
It was all said.
She immediately replied.
Thanks 😊
Just that.
And I didn't have to answer her back either. No, after what had practically been my own determination...
But at least she did.
Because of the short response, I felt like there was no point in prolonging the conversation.
Besides, I didn't have much to say to her.
I entered Facebook and Instagram to find out something about Sabri.
Mara some other photos had been posted, besides, my brothers or my old lady told me something, but nothing about Sabrina.
And if I didn't ask her directly, I couldn't get any news.
Only one photo had been posted.
She wasn't glowing with that radiant light she always had.
On top of it, she was wearing glasses. But the expression on her face, stiff, didn't show her typical happy face.
Of course, that didn't make her look any less divine from all angles.
That was all I had of her. A photo.
I stayed lying down in bed. last few weeks had cost me a lot to get up. I didn't have strength for anything. Even I lost all the soccer games with my friends, something that never happened. I put my phone on my chest and closed my eyes. I had never been so floor mat. Never. Not even exhausted after spending the whole day in bed. My brothers tried to make me do some things, without success. Also my sister, who didn't give me too much slack, got tired of trying to get me out of that room. The only one with extraordinary faculties to do it was my boss, je. I stayed for a few minutes and tried to get up. It was Saturday and something had to be done to clear my mind. When I saw the phone, Mara had written again. I was surprised that she did it. MAR: What are you doing?? She wrote me. Was I starting a conversation? At least that seemed like it. YO: In bed, in bed... you? It was 12 noon. He must have thought it strange that I was still in bed. MAR: Coming back from buying... Did you go out yesterday? YO: No, no... I stayed home MAR: I saw a few days ago that your tire was low on the car. Just passed and it's still like that. Don't you need help? YO: Ah, yes? Didn't notice jaja Thanks for warning! MAR: Posta? It's been like 15 days like this... YO: Yes, I wasn't using it The reality is that practically, I didn't leave my house. The few times I went to the office, thanks to telecommuting, was by public transportation, since it was faster and simpler, mostly because of where to leave the car in the chaos of Federal Capital. YO: Are you doing something for your birthday today? MAR: Some friends are coming over to eat in a bit... YO: Ah, good! I hope you have a nice day! MAR: Thanks 😊 MAR: Are you coming with Aunt and your brothers tonight? I opened my eyes in surprise How? Did I think it would be? I don't know if that was good. Took me a little while to answer. Honestly, I was surprised. YO: I don't know... Do you want me to go? Didn't want to be rude either MAR: After all, you're my cousin still, right? I stayed when he wrote that. I didn't know what to put next. And then he realized... MAR: Sorry, bad joke... But if you want, yes. It surprised me that he wanted to see me. After how we had ended. YO: Well, maybe I'll go for a bit.- I said to get out of it, because I didn't have the desire to leave. MAR: Okay 😊 MAR: I saw you the other day on the street, I didn't recognize you with that beard… YO: Ah yes? YO: I look like a beggar, I know. I'm going to shave it off. MAR: It'll only take a few minutes... Besides, you're not you anymore.-
Je.
Why did he care about my appearance?
Some gossip from the family must have told him something.
YO: Haha okay
I just said that.
I got up to go to the bathroom. I don't know if it was because of lack of physical condition or because I hadn't eaten yet, but I felt a sudden fatigue, like I was carrying 100 kilos on my back.
God... I had to start moving as soon as possible.
Before any effort, I felt like I was shaking. I suppose the bitterness I brought with me also influenced it.
But regularly, I felt like crap.
I entered the bathroom and looked at myself in the mirror.
Oh, I was very bearded.
My hair was a bit messy, always had it that way, unkempt.
But because of the beard, I looked like a hermit.
And like Alan Parrish, I began to shave off that jungle.
It took me a while.
The amount of hair I pulled out was incredible, but finally, my face had returned.
A little more sucked in than usual and with dark circles under my eyes, but it was my face... I went to the fridge and the smell of a cold meat cutlet opened up my appetite. Mmm... That garlic and parsley... Like a wild animal, I ate two, in minutes.
I was alone at home.
So I ate like a rat.
I still thought about how kind Mara had been to me.
More than that, she didn't move a hair on my head, but it was finally gratifying. But it made sense. We belong to the same family and it was something inevitable.
Maybe it was a mature way of facing it, hers. It wasn't bad... I showered and changed to go to the barber's. A since I was getting up with some enthusiasm, I had to take advantage. Walked those three blocks until there, which seemed like twenty. God, I was out of shape. Almost got there sweating. Since the barber was a friend, I asked for water. An uncontrollable thirst had dominated me. Then he retouched my head. A long time up, but tedious. Little by little, my normal image, I had to get back. And it was something else... Although looking at myself in the mirror and contemplating the terrible dark circles under my eyes, made me realize that I had to do something about it. I went home and started training a bit. Total, I was going to have to take another shower because of how I had sweated. But it cost me. I had been without training many times. And never felt this way before. I could only exercise for a little while, then my body said enough and I stopped. Something is something, I thought. Wasted some time chatting with friends on my cell phone, which I had abandoned more than them, and watched TV. So, without realizing it, the afternoon passed. Almost fell asleep in bed. I was falling asleep lately... The house, in silence, was a propitious environment for it to pass. It gave me peace doing so. In my room, in the dark, the phone's light illuminated the abyss. I turned over a bit in bed and took the cell phone. It was a message from my brother. MIK: Hey, you're coming from Mar? Saw the time and it was like 8 pm. I had fallen asleep. Never told my family that I was going with them. YO: Uh, yeah... I forgot to tell them
YO: Now see if I'm going...
MIK: Okay... If you knew, I would've changed the car tire, piece of junk...
It made me laugh, piece of junk? guy...
YO: I'll have to buy a new one, insured...
MIK: Don't be a jerk and come, okay?
I didn't like the idea too much, but I got up and fixed myself a bit.
Honestly, I don't know what made me do it.
Perfume, black sweater, and jeans.
Not far away, so I walked. Plus, the car's battery was dead already and walking wouldn't hurt me.
After 10 minutes, I arrived at his house.
Still... Time to come back. I thought about it. But she was already there. Besides, I had told her I was coming and my brother too. I rang the doorbell. If I had to get used to Mara's presence, that was the moment to start doing so. And it was she who opened the door. It had been weeks since I last saw her. She impacted me a bit when I saw her. ME: Hi... Happy birthday.- I said looking at her. When she opened the door, she had one face and when she saw me, it completely changed. She got upset. But she was as beautiful as always, although I also noticed her a little more thin. MAR: Hi... Thanks.- She replied with a weird face. It hadn't probably liked that I came, I imagined. But she had told me to come. ME: What's wrong? Are you sure you want me to stay? I looked at her again, like something wasn't right. How uncomfortable... ME: I lost a few pounds but neither am I an abomination for you to put that face on jaja.- I tried to defuse the situation with a joke. She came closer and greeted me with a slap on the cheek. Half-hugged me. What a surprise... MAR: No... Johnny... It's not that... How long has it been since you called me that. Maybe she was surprised by my appearance. But her reaction was tremendous. Like I hadn't seen her in years. She let go of me. More than anything, I saw her as lovely as always. She was wearing jeans, blue and fitted, and a muscular pink rose. Clearly, those were her most representative colors. Her brown hair was long on one side. I felt weird going back there. It seemed like I hadn't been in millennia... We walked side by side, just like we had done so many times. MAR: How are you? You look very thin...- She said looking at me. It was a gaze like shame. Not like she was talking to someone from her whole life. ME: Fine. Maybe a bit. I think I lost two or three pounds. MAR: Two or three? I'd say seven or eight...- She expressed with an astonished gesture. ME: Naa... That much? MAR: You didn't see yourself, did you? Oh... ME: And you look thinner too... Without me.- I stopped myself. It slipped out. MAR: What about what?.- She asked looking at me. ME: Nothing, haha. Without my cooking you would have said... She made a slight gesture on her face. I There had been something inside telling me to tell her. MAR: Come on!.- She said looking at me with her green eyes into mine. We entered from the back, towards the house. The rest of my family was there. I sat down with them. There were some surprised faces when they saw me there. But as the night went on, I noticed they were happy I had come. Even her dad and my uncle were happy to see me. It seemed like no one wanted me to be bad with Mara. And there was no reason we shouldn't get along. We would always be family. I was sitting with my brother Mike and cousin Charly. They made faces at the guys, every time Mara was near. Some jerks... Obviously, none of them knew the raw story. They didn't have a clue. It's more, it gave me shame to remember that when I was with them. At one point, Mara came over where I was sitting and handed me a glass of Fernet. Like nothing was wrong. She handed it to me in my hand and kept walking, like it was natural. And well, I wasn't just looking out for myself either. I went back and forth with snacks and drinks. Guys, none of them gave a hand. What were they waiting for me to do? I looked at the guys and said: YO: Why don't you guys give her a hand... At the same time, they answered: Do it yourself. They were wasted. I got out of there. I stayed drinking the Fernet she had brought me. Like I was just another guest at a party. Time ago, we used to do things together when people came over. We always complemented each other for those things. It gave me a certain nostalgia thinking about that. And when I saw her almost burning herself taking the pizza out of the oven, I got up to help her. For old times' sake, I thought. I went towards her and she looked at me. YO: None of these guys are helping you... Let me handle the pizzas. MAR: No need... thanks.- She said looking down. YO: Did you burn yourself? MAR: No, no. Almost! But leave it, I'll take care of myself! YO: You prepared a Fernet for me... You didn't have to do that, I can help with the pizzas. She stayed. Made a face from the side. As if my attitude had pleased her. I, honestly, didn't make any compromising gestures or show warmth to her.

MAR: Thanks...

Without further ado, I started serving the ones I'd taken out and preparing others.

I didn't act friendly or attentive towards her. Nor did I try to strike up a conversation with her.

I limited myself to being in the kitchen.

Besides, it was better for me to be there than at the table with everyone, because I could leave whenever I wanted, listening to my family saying nonsense…

So, a few more came out.

My sister Ava approached as she passed by. Good job helping and she winked at me.

If they thought I did it to win points with her or something similar, they were very wrong.

Definitely not. But neither did I care about explaining anything.

So I didn't give it much importance and kept going.

At one point, Mara came in and stayed in the kitchen.

It was uncomfortable.

Because I felt like she wanted to get me talking. And I didn't know what to say or comment on.

I went back and forth with the pizzas. She was standing there. I don't find another reason to talk.

But just then, we crossed glances.

Jmm I made a face at her.

She did the same.

What an uncomfortable moment! Horrible…

MAR: Did you eat?

YO: Yes, they were good...

MAR: Honestly, they really were. They ate everything haha.-

She gave me that smile that had made my legs tremble so many times.

It was clear she was a special girl.

Regardless of what had happened between us.

Her white skin, her freckles, seemed to be conspiring against my will.

I truly thought she was beautiful but...

How did everything get out of hand?

YO: The pizzas never fail...-

MAR: Again, thanks for making them!

YO: No, it's nothing.- I replied looking at her.

When I looked directly at her, it seemed like she felt awkward, a little. Or maybe that's just how it seemed to me.

Also, we were both facing a completely new, different situation. Nothing was alike... my uncles called her and she went there. I was saved by the bell, I thought. It would be foolish to say I didn't want her. But I was still very hurt about the situation. And more than that, disappointed. And since nothing else came out of me inside. So much so that I didn't even tell her everything I thought when we separated... The night went by. She let herself get carried away a lot better than I believed. They put the cake on to sing happy birthday to her. I was still in the kitchen. I wasn't making pizzas anymore, but I was there, a little detached from the crowd. There was nothing left for me to do but approach when they started singing, but I stayed off to the side. The moment arrived and they turned off the lights. Happy birthday... everyone sang. I wasn't singing but I was applauding like everyone else. I remember that on her last birthday, as soon as they finished singing, I surprised her from behind and lifted her up in my arms. I carried her to the bottom and threw her into the pool. And now it was completely different. Each one was at their own home, hers. I don't know if it was because of the reflection of the camera cell phone lights, but her eyes were shining brightly. She blew out the candle and it was over, the lights came back on. I lived it like a routine. When my sister started taking pictures, I got out of there. I went to the bottom. I didn't want to know anything about pictures. I sat down in the recliner that was on the grass and stayed there. I don't know how much time passed until they started calling me. Obviously, I was being an idiot. And when my mom made a gesture from the door, almost flashed her with my gaze. I think she understood... After a while, I went in. Already I wanted to leave and since some had already left, I saw my chance. YO: come on? I said to my brother Renzo. He was the one who followed me in age. Twin of Ava. REN: I'm not going for Mom's thing... -He told me barely giving me attention, looking at his phone. After that, I thought, since when did I have to wait for everyone else to leave? So I got up and went to the bathroom. Unfortunately, it was occupied. So I thought about going to the quincho. I crossed the entire back and went to that one. The truth is, if I was walking and for some reason had to run, I wouldn't be able to do it if she got on top of me. Fine... I did my business and left like I was leaving. I found Mara coming from the opposite direction. ME: I had to come here.- I said, sketching a simulated smile. MAR: Yes yes. The one ahead is being quoted.- She smiled. She spoke with an air. ME: Well... I'm going already.- I said, looking at her. MAR: Are you leaving?.- She said something surprised, opening her eyes. ME: Yes... I think my brothers will stay the same... MAR: Ah, well...- She expressed with dismay. It was strange for me. Did she want me not to leave? She stayed there looking to the side. Something was happening. ME: Is everything okay?.- I asked. Yes she answered, moving her head and looking down, walked past my side. ME: Hey! Did something happen?.- I asked MAR: No... no.- She said and without looking at me directed herself to the bathroom door. I didn't know what was happening. But it left me astonished. So much that reflexively, I grabbed her arm before she went away. It was involuntary. I had no intention. She looked down at the floor in front of me. Hace tiempo no la tenía tan cerca. Until I felt the fragrance of her skin. ME: What's going on, Mara?.- I asked. She raised her gaze slowly. Her eyes were tearful and green like seaweed. I was frozen. Why was she like that? ME: Tell me... MAR: Nothing... I remembered something... I'm a fool, nothing...- She expressed rolling her eyes. That sad look moved me. I didn't like seeing her like that. It made me feel so much guilt. Bad. And I don't know why... I think I imagined what she had remembered. On that birthday, once everyone had left, we had done it in the pool. The two of us, balls in the hot water of the jacuzzi, happy as never. Bitterness seemed not to want to leave us alone. The only thing that came out for me was hugging her. Immediately Mara rested her head against my chest and grabbed me tightly with her arms. I didn't say anything. I just hugged her. Never There had been times like this, without feeling it. What a commotion... The nerve endings in my body tensed up. All those images of her taking Brian and Franco with no scruples came to mind. Maybe if all that hadn't happened... I: It's going to be better if I leave...- I said nicely. She moved away from me a bit and looked at me. Her cheeks were already flushed. MAR: Fine... When I let her go, turned around to leave, she grabbed my face with both hands and gave me a kiss on the mouth, closing her eyes. I could feel the rivers of her tears touching my lips. I didn't want to pull away. I was going to hurt her. But neither did I try to kiss her back. I couldn't do it. I just left. Left my lips quiet and still. After a few seconds, she let me go. She gave me a gentle touch on the face, understanding, and then went into the bathroom, looking sad. Bye, Johnny she said with a slightly slurred voice before entering. What a mess everything was... I knew I didn't have to leave... I didn't want to leave her like that again. Maybe if I stayed for a bit and messed around with her, it would pass. It hurt me too. But I didn't know exactly if it was pain or anger. I felt it in my chest. I approached the bathroom door and could hear her crying. In the way you want to hold back but can't. It slips away from you. A knot formed in my throat. I: I'm not going to leave again, leaving you like this...- I said through the door. MAR: Go, Johnny... Please...- She expressed very sadly. I: I love you... Don't be like that... Her crying didn't stop. Probably it wasn't the response she wanted. But I was sincere. MAR: Please, go!- She begged. I couldn't insist either. I knew her and she was really bad off. And offering me some comfort wouldn't do any good. I: Fine, but I'll write to you later... When I said that, she opened the door. Her face was very red. I looked at her. It was genuine what was happening to her. MAR: Do you really love Sabrina?-. shocked. God... Why was he asking that? What did he expect me to say? It's so hard... I: That doesn't matter... I'll never be with her again. MAR: Answer my question! Do you love her?.- He expressed, almost breaking down. His lips trembled. I looked at him. I didn't want to tell him. I couldn't... I remained silent. She burst into tears. I'll never forget her face. That one that could light up any dark hole it crossed, was fading away slowly. How miserable... I hugged her again. I had to hold her back. She hugged me too, tightly. Like it was the last time she would do so. I love you she said with a hoarse voice. It tore me in two. My heart accelerated wildly. I think it hadn't accelerated that much even on my best sexual days. I felt the blows she was giving me. She sensed it and looked at me. Obviously, she mattered to me. MAR: You're beating hard...- She expressed, surprised, without letting go of me. I just limited myself to holding her back. Those disgusting images were appearing before me again. I swallowed saliva and made some gestures on her arm or body. That body that I had explored with my mouth, with my hands, so many times. We stayed like that for a while. It was hard not to lose control. I felt too much anger. Until she calmed down a bit... MAR: Better, let's go, because they'll think anyone is crazy.- She said, making a face on her sad face. What a crappy situation. I was angry and disillusioned. But seeing her like that, it really hurt me. I knew she was feeling a very great pain. I: I'm leaving, but we'll talk later... MAR: Fine, go ahead...- He expressed with a slight smile. She washed her face and we left. It was obvious she had cried. Impossible to hide. Then I walked with her, talking. I don't know what nonsense I said. I guess something about the birthday or the amount of pizza the guy had eaten. The sadness hadn't left her face, but at least she was better. She opened the door for me to leave. MAR: Don't you want me to take you with the car?
I: No, thank you. Don't worry... Besides, I'm not going to make you take it out…
MAR: It's just two minutes…
I: No, everything is fine… Go with the family.- I said smiling.
He made a good gesture.
I realized he didn't want me to leave.
But there was no reason for me to stay. And I didn't want to be there either.
I: Bye!.- I managed to give him a kiss on the cheek.
It seemed strange that this would happen.
She put her face and gave it near my lip.
MAR: Bye, John, we'll talk!.- She expressed something tangled. As if she had wanted to say something else.
I smiled and left.
MAR: Watch out, it's late!
I: Thanks for inviting me…
MAR: No... It was you who came…- A smile formed on her face, trying to hide what was underneath...
I did the same, already behind the gate and left.
I hated that kind of situation.
I regretted going so much.
I knew it was better for everyone if I had done it, but it ended up being a mess.
I didn't want Mara to be like this.
I didn't want to have to worry about her.
There were so many times I wanted to leave from there that I walked and it was very late, at dawn.
It wasn't a dangerous neighborhood, but going out at that hour…
Nothing like that happened. I arrived fine.
Exhausted and annoyed by what had happened. For the first time in my life, I acted with her, out of solidarity and not because of love... And that shouldn't be like this...
I took everything off, regretting the decision to have gone and went to bed.
Fatigue helped me fall asleep.
Rare, since I had too many things to think about.
The next day was not going to be much better.
Maybe what mattered was that I would go back to playing soccer after so long.
Not because I wanted to, but because I had to.
I did everything all day, regretting everything I had done the night before.
I had told Mara I would write her, but I didn't do it.
And it was better if I hadn't.
Besides, talking about commitment made no sense for me.
I supposed that with time she would be fine.
Every time I thought about how badly I had seen her, I remember how I had caught in Fernanda's house and it was slipping away from me.

That wasn't healthy. But at least, I didn't let myself get soft. I felt frustration too. I couldn't talk to Sabrina, I couldn't see her and I needed to know about her. I wondered what was going on with her life. I couldn't ask Mara either. It would be a total lack of respect. But not knowing anything, drove me crazy. In the end, the failure was enormous.

By evening, I went to the pitch, hoping to change something in my sorrows. How long it had been since I put on shorts... My friends got happy when they saw me. It had been a time since I'd gone there. I played down below. I wasn't some idiot... I knew I couldn't run or anything like that as I was. Incredible to show that image. What shame! That wasn't me. And if I accelerated a bit, I would get agitated soon. Until one moment, I couldn't handle my temper.

I saw the opportunity to kick alone and I did it. I ran... I kicked the ball with quality while running. But when I ran for a few meters, I felt a strange sensation... As if something was squeezing my chest. Never had that happened to me before. I braked suddenly and the ball kept rolling, in front of the surprised faces of the guys. It was a strong pain and it cost me to breathe. I knelt down, supporting my hands on my legs. My friends, at first, laughed. But then after a few seconds, they asked Are you okay, dude?

I couldn't speak and started hearing sounds from far away. ME: No... I can't breathe...- I said with difficulty. Something was happening to me. I felt a tingling in my arm and my legs went weak. It seemed like something was grabbing my heart and squeezing it. Like a demonic hand crushing it. I fell to the floor, onto my right arm. I tried to breathe but couldn't. I heard everyone shouting. What's going on with me? I thought while trying to take deep breaths. The pain became more intense and the light faded away as my face hit the synthetic grass. Very slowly, my eyes were closing. I saw how Faces were blurring that approached me, until everything became dark and silent.

I don't know what happened to me.

I don't know if I was dreaming.

An eternal darkness enveloped me. As if I had entered a deep black hole.

I had perceptions, as if I was moving, but everything was black.

It was a constant feeling of being disoriented and trapped in an empty space.

The next thing I remember is opening my eyes and a lot of light.

Everything white, suddenly, and it dazzled me.

What was this about?

I saw like silhouettes...

Fatigue... Much... A horrible pressure on the chest...

Never had anything similar happened to me.

But gradually everything started taking shape.

I remember seeing a person, dressed entirely in white.

Did they have a mask? I heard everything as if I were underwater. There was another person there too, standing still. It was a female figure. Where was I? What had happened to me?

Very slowly, I began to hear better.

Jonás, Jonás. That person in white was saying to me.

It seemed like a doctor. I think it was one.

ME: Yes... Where am I? What happened?

You're in a hospital, stay calm. You're fine now!

In a hospital? What's he saying?

ME: What happened to me?.- I remember telling them.

Don't be scared, but you suffered an infarction...