Carta a mi Ex

HOLA BOYS, I DON'T KNOW IF THIS POST MEETS THE PAGE'S RULES AND REGULATIONS, I DIDN'T READ THEM TO BE HONEST, I HOPE THEY WON'T DELETE IT. THIS IS A LETTER I WROTE LAST FRIDAY AFTER THE NOT ONE LESS MARCH, SOME OF YOU MAY KNOW IT, THOSE WHO DON'T, THIS IS MY STORY. I'M WRITING THIS LETTER TO YOU, WHO MADE ME EXTREMELY HAPPY FOR A LONG TIME, WHO KEPT ME WITH ALL THE LUXURIES, SATISFIED MY WHIM, HELD ME LIKE A QUEEN, I REMEMBER MY FRIENDS ENVIED ME, THEY ALL TALKED ABOUT YOU, BECAUSE OF THE TRIPS WE TOOK, THE CLOTHES YOU BOUGHT FOR ME, THE RINGS, CHAINS, BRACELETS, EVERYTHING, I ALWAYS HAD EVERYTHING, I ALWAYS HAD THE LATEST CELL PHONE, ALWAYS HAD THE BEST CAMERA, AND EVEN A PORTABLE PLAYSTATION, DO YOU REMEMBER HOW WE USED TO FIGHT OVER THAT PLAYSTATION?, I WAS 22 YEARS OLD AND WANTED ONE, AND YOU ASKED ME WHAT I COULD DO TO GET IT, AND I TOLD YOU ANYTHING, BECAUSE IT WAS THE ONLY THING I WANTED IN LIFE. EVERYTHING WAS PART OF OUR GAME, WE JUST STARTED GOING OUT, AND OUR HORMONES WERE ON FIRE, I STARTED DOING THINGS WITH THAT CONSOLE I NEVER DID BEFORE, LIKE LETTING YOU FILM ME WHILE YOU GAVE ME ORAL SEX, DO YOU REMEMBER HOW THE FIRST TIMES I WANTED TO SEE THE VIDEOS RIGHT AWAY TO SEE HOW I LOOKED?, AND YOU TOLD ME TO RELAX MY FACE MORE AND PUT ON A SLUT EXPRESSION, THEN WE'D TAKE THE SECOND SHOT OF THE MOVIE, AND I, OBEYING, WOULD PUT ON A BETTER SLUT FACE, OR I THOUGHT THAT WAS IT, BECAUSE I DIDN'T REALLY KNOW WHAT A SLUT FACE IS, IS IT A PLEASURE FACE?, DOES GETTING SEXUALLY ARROGATED MAKE YOU A SLUT?, I DIDN'T KNOW THEN, AND I GOT ADDICTED TO THIS GAME OF FILMING US, I LIKED MAKING YOU HAPPY BECAUSE I WAS YOUR GIRLFRIEND, YOUR PARTNER, AND A PARTNER SHOULD MAKE THE OTHER HAPPY, OR IS THAT WHAT WE ALWAYS TALKED ABOUT?, YOU ALWAYS TOLD ME THAT AS A WOMAN, MY OBLIGATION WAS TO GIVE YOU PLEASURE. OF COURSE, YOU GAVE ME PLEASURE TOO, I NEVER COMPLAINED

About that, but now I know that what you called giving me pleasure to me was actually for your own pleasure. Honestly, it never would have crossed my mind to receive the call black kiss, I knew it existed, of course, but I thought it only happened in porn movies and didn't happen in common life. You did it and I liked it, honestly, it's nice, it feels good, a lot of pleasure, tickles, impossible not to moan. And what were you saying when I was moaning? You would ask me if I liked being a slut, do you remember?, Do you like being a slut?, you'd say. I would respond yes, why would I lie to you, it's beautiful what you're doing to me.

We traveled together all over the country, twice a year we'd go on vacation. We'd arrive at the hotel and the first thing we'd do is have sex, whenever it was, even if the maid was cleaning the room next door didn't matter, whether they were listening or not, you liked it when everyone knew that you were screwing me because you would say as soon as we get there I'm going to give you a screw..., and I, submissive, blinded by luxury, couldn't wait to arrive and give you my body. If the next day we'd look at each other over breakfast didn't matter, you taught me to be selfish, they looked at us with envy because they don't get it, I thought.

You always marked your territory, for example, you would give me orders in a loud voice so everyone could hear and see that I was obeying you. It wasn't unusual, you never said anything bad, my love bring this, my life why aren't you going to the room and bringing that, and I, slave and happy, went, and when I stopped you'd give me a slap in front of everyone as if to show that you could touch my body whenever and wherever you wanted. It didn't bother me, of course, at that point I had already gotten used to being yours, I had never had another boyfriend, I thought it was all normal and that if other couples didn't do it it was because the passion had gone out. corrections in public, if I had an opinion on some topic and you didn't think the same, you'd tell me to shut up, saying I didn't know anything about it, and you'd seek out accomplices at the table and everyone would laugh together at my general ignorance. Then the other women, much less submissive than me, would defend themselves, not violently, since we were always having dinner with friends, but they'd do so through irony or sarcasm, I'd remain quiet in my seat, just smiling, and then you'd say I didn't know what I was laughing at. I never would have thought to say anything to you or reprimand you because those nights we'd go home and make love, and I'd make love, you'd take me. Do you remember when you asked me to take you like a slut? How whores do it? I didn't know what to do, thinking to myself that I had to do something different, something more than just being a slut, so I moved faster, screamed, started saying obscenities; you'd ask for them, don't you remember?, what are you doing, tell me?, you'd say from below, and if I didn't respond you'd give me a strong slap on the butt and ask again, then I had to respond because my butt was burning, I'm jumping on your cock, I'd say, and you'd groan and shout at the four winds ah, what a beautiful slut, and I, foolishly, thought I was a beautiful slut. Unfortunately for me none of my friends were in a relationship like yours to talk to someone in a relationship, and you used that to your advantage, don't you remember when you'd say all my friends were single women, that they must be histéyummy and that they must not know how to suck because they didn't have a boyfriend? And I'd laugh because you said it with humor, irony, and I didn't consider it an aggression, then I'd go down and suck you off just to show you I could do it and that I was worthy of having a boyfriend just for that. Do you remember the first time you discovered my infidelity? You told me it was because I used to take better? and that's why you went out looking for it, and I got depressed and searched the internet on how to do it well with my boyfriend because I had to improve my performance in bed if I didn't want to be cheated again, because your cheating was my fault, if I had done it right I wouldn't have been a cuckquean. Thanks to God, the last time you got violent physically and I started opening my eyes little by little, because if you hadn't roughed me up that night I wouldn't have given you my ass yet we would still be together. I told you no and you got crazy, gave me blows with a force that wasn't erotic, weren't intimate incentives, you were punishing me, paying me only because I said no. And what did you do that night, do you remember? You grabbed my hair and put it in my mouth, I was making gagging noises because you were sucking my face like it was normal, I tried to get out but couldn't, you held me tight and finished inside my mouth and forced me to swallow, and suggested that I tell you I liked taking the cum, I obeyed because it was the first time I felt scared of being with you. How many times did you say if you ask me to suck you, I'll suck you? It was your way of showing me your power, coming out of nowhere saying you wanted a blow job and I had to do it, no matter what time it was, if I was watching TV and you wanted a blowjob I had to do it, if not you'd force me down on my knees and make me do it against my will. If I was about to go out with my friends in the afternoon because going out at night was impossible for me since you forbade it, what did you do? Do you remember? Blow job and left my face full of semen knowing that my friends were about to arrive, how many times did they wait for them on the couch while I was taking a bath? After they'd pick me up, tell me I was the typical little girl who always shows up late everywhere, and laugh, and I had to get angry because I wasn't going to tell them I was late because you had forced me to.

Make you give me a blow job and my face, hair, and clothes were stained with your semen. How many times did you force my legs apart and make love to me like you used to say? I would tell you that you were raping me because I didn't want to do it, and you'd say no, that you were my boyfriend and making love to me, and then apologize the next day, saying you thought it was all part of a master-slave game, which you had gotten me used to playing, and that I enjoyed it a lot at the time, but didn't know it would come back to haunt me in the future. Every time I told you no, you'd have the perfect excuse to think it was all part of the game, that I was being difficult, that I was the innocent girl acting.

The first times I told you no, asking you to go slow at least, and tried to get you off me, but later on, I just gave up. I thought, well, you've done it so many times over these 8 years, what's one more time? And that's how I became your inflatable doll.

Do you remember when you pushed me because I said I wanted to start training with a running group? We argued, and you told me all the girls in that group are whores because they wear tights, and that men are all alive and make themselves gay just to screw around. We argued and you pushed me, threw me against the living room table, and yelled at me that I was as much a slut as they were, and if you found out I was participating in that group, you'd kick me out of there, along with those guys. That was the last time you touched me.

The rest was humiliating for me. With a nervous attack and not knowing what words to use or how to do it, feeling ashamed, timid, and crying, I told a friend what had been happening to me. I didn't have the strength to tell my mom, even today if I look at her eyes, I break down and cry, that's what you achieved, making me unable to look my mom in the eye, and then it was my friend who had to tell her.

If I were... A slut like you say I would have reported you, but I didn't, not because I'm afraid of you, I'm afraid because I know you can kick me to the ground, because you're stronger and more forceful, but deep down you're a poor weak guy, then I prefer just leaving you alone and not reliving all this again in statements to prosecutors, experts, psychologists, and judges.

Sometimes I cry silently for nothing. Sometimes I feel angry and I feel like a fool, I can't believe I let myself get dragged into all that, it's impossible for me not to understand how I didn't notice.

But do you know what? I'm fine, you'd like to hear that I'm sad, traumatized, and that you ruined my life, but no, you stole many things from me, trust in people, innocence, the best years of my youth, but you couldn't steal my smile, because from now on I'll have a beautiful life.

THANK YOU FOR READING.
KISSES.