You're Against Me on Valentine's Day

What a crappy week for all those elves who don't have a true elf? Well, you don't have to be an elf...I hope you understand the crap of the parable I just threw. Tomorrow? Tomorrow is Tuesday and whoever tells me it's Valentine's Day will have to tell me simply and with all the love in the world: Get lost.

Possible statuses for updating social media on beautiful dates like tomorrow:

San Valentin vos sos contra mio
I...let's get together tomorrow 14/2? ... Ah, right. OK. I hope you die!
Not everything is forever... (Fucks!)
I wish your partner would give you a dwarf and make you grow!
Hello! I don't want to die alone...I need someone to love me
911? What's up with the single warning?
Mum, make some noodles with cheese because I'm falling asleep at night because I don't have any single friends

And so infinite small sparrows will flood our beginnings, showing that they lack a blow for tomorrow, but well life can be crap and almost all the time it is, but don't give up...Not everything is lost if you take my cousin's example who being uglier than hell always gets engaged at the end of January just to get bears on Valentine's Day. Yes, she has problems.

Let's then move on to what I want to say. Tomorrow everyone will go out, it'll be love, said and happiness. But for you it'll be staying in Greece with a Molotov cocktail in hand, a shirt with the Parthenon on fire and shouting Long live Plato, every year is carnival. It's the same tragedy. And facing this from this humble place I can recommend some things that will make the damn 14th of February a memorable date you can tell your kids if you ever manage to have any clear.

Setting fire to the flower stand on the corner of your house the night before isn't good, first because it's your uncle's, second because you're in trouble for being a jerk and third because despite all the misery that has taken over your life for some time now You can impede the happiness of others (Lying that they'll crap themselves). Then the ideal thing you can do is get up, prepare one of those strong coffee, put some toasts on, put on your headphones with Metal Bonner, letters of fury or unbridled hatred wouldn't be bad, and start the way to work with a face of I'm going to eat everything, I don't have plans for today and tonight I'll watch The Simulators with Muzza.

You're going to want to reformulate your postulate of When we went down was the worst day of my life when you arrive at work and some little girl appears with a box of chocolates and a huge heart that her boyfriend who drove her in his car gave her, saying My love I'm coming to pick you up... That same cutie is going to tell you sighing that it's finally her turn and you're going to answer with your usual humor... Uhhh what a cool guy, well I'll leave because my friend from the North Pole is calling me, his name is Papa Noel and I'm going to tell him to take a chimney up your ass...slut!

Then your boss is going to want to leave early because he has to eat dinner first with his mistress and then go home... He's going to come up to you and say something like Well well...today we can leave early, good man...Go ahead, no problem ... And you'll be thinking inside, twisting with rage about why that asshole who pays you two mangos doesn't deserve a bird before entering or where it would be great to call the woman and tell her to go eat at the same place where the guy is with his mistress and then appear with a Jim Carrey mask and yell Fat ass, you've got me inside And steal the bread from the table.

But good, because as we said life stinks. Since everything above is unlikely, the ideal thing for Valentine's Day is to call some friend who never gets married in her life, pay for the hotel (it's not good to be a rat) and at most give her a package of Mogul so she'll tell you that you're a moron, fuck for a while and get home on time to catch the late-night cable series. If you don't have cable, no drama, spend time with some friends and while everyone keeps fucking you, you'll go crazy watching Father Farinello on Public TV.

EPILOGUE THAT NO ONE WILL READ

Practical Glossary

Before the usual questions we receive at the call center of our ONG Save the Boludos organization, we want to clarify that:

1- It's a lie what they're saying. I didn't get with Hilda Lizarazu.

2- We reclaim sweet mate...because for bitter take a Term on the Rocks.

3- We don't adhere to the popular consultation for A world without inflatable dolls since we collect them, in fact if someone has or knows of one dressed as Mirtha Legrand, we appreciate a Private Message.

4- We reiterate again, Poringa is a lifestyle... Otherwise, Ruben will make you understand with lamiditas!