My Sad Story (Not Anything Sexual)

Okay let's start, I'm 31 years old and still a virgin, throughout my youth (18 years onwards) many girls offered themselves to me, but I always rejected them because they had partners or were pregnant, and several of them had very good bodies and attributes. As the years went by, that changed since there was no one, the truth is I always thought the first time should be with someone special, maybe it was the way I was raised or simply influenced by popular culture back then, and well in current times already past 30 a friend offered herself to me, she's beautiful and has very good physical attributes, but again I rejected her because my physique isn't like that of my youth (I've gained weight) and she has a lot of sexual experience and I don't want to disappoint her, and now at 1:38 am feeling sad and alone at work thinking if I'll die a virgin, I feel like they'd reject me already given my age since I have no sexual experience, it's a trauma that's growing in me little by little, I hope things change as the year goes on, and although this is a page for sexual things I needed to vent, thanks...