And one day she wondered: “Will it be possible for him to always choose the same one among so many? The question was followed by requests for change, but nothing: he would always go back to missionary. This extended form of having conventional sex with few variations is popularly known as “vanilla sex”. It refers to choosing the most common flavor: vanilla ice cream.
“Vanilla sex” dispenses with the richness of erotic options and repeats the same forms of approach: “male initiative”, brief prelude, prioritizing penetration, and a final silence that's more than moans.
Was all past sex better?
In the sexological consultation, it is often heard (not without nostalgia and resignation) that in the early stages of a couple's relationship, sex was more spontaneous, passionate, and with time became boring and schematic. “When we were new, we barely touched each other and were already hot”, “we spent hours having sex”, “we did everything...”, patients remember.
In these cases of vigorous initiation and final apathy, women are the ones who complain most about their male partners. They were encouraged to express themselves in matters of sex, either by previous experiences or by the force of desire, without hesitation or inhibition.
Other relationship models reveal that it was men who encouraged their women to enjoy the encounter between bodies. However, the passage of time, or assuming that the relationship “functions on its own” and no longer needs efforts to take it out of what's known, are sufficient motives for leaving oneself to be carried away by monotony. If we add to this panorama evoking the best of past sex the incomunicación of the present, the conflict worsens.
From silence to complaint
There are women who suffer alone: they don't dare to pose the problem out of fear of not being understood. There are also those who justify her present believing that 'it must be this way', that the passion of the beginning has been lost and only conformity with 'what is' remains. And finally there are those who do not conform to routine and want to 'try out' different tastes that sex offers them.
If decades ago women accepted sexual routine with resignation, today they demand to keep sex alive. They accept that time passing and living together can detract from passion and intensity, but also know how to turn these conditions into experience and desire for change.
Men also complain
If women complain about their men being 'boring', they don't stay behind, only their demands to get out of 'vanilla sex' date back to the beginning of the relationship. From their mouths you hear the classic: 'she's always been like that' and they describe with few examples the poverty of resources: 'I can't touch her', 'she doesn't want me to give her oral sex and doesn't think about me doing it either', 'I don't know if she's ever had an orgasm'.
Men resign themselves faster than women and use justifications that allude to myths about female condition: 'women are less sexual than men', 'she was educated very repressively', 'women are more modest' or the typical belief: 'I won't ask my woman things I'd do with a prostitute'.
Men who can get out of these rigid patterns that underestimate feminine erotic capacities are better disposed to help their women break with sexual inhibitions. Of course, there has to be desire for change, mutual agreement, communication and prioritizing intimate moments.
* As in the example of ice cream: you have to choose other flavors.
* Interchange taking the initiative.
* Take time to caress each other and feel the other.
* Remember that the goal is the entire erotic encounter, not penetration.
* Use external stimuli: Lights, music, erotic films or sexual toys.
* Gradually introduce novelties.
* Share what each person felt.
* Enhance the next encounter: 'go for more'.
“Vanilla sex” dispenses with the richness of erotic options and repeats the same forms of approach: “male initiative”, brief prelude, prioritizing penetration, and a final silence that's more than moans.
Was all past sex better?
In the sexological consultation, it is often heard (not without nostalgia and resignation) that in the early stages of a couple's relationship, sex was more spontaneous, passionate, and with time became boring and schematic. “When we were new, we barely touched each other and were already hot”, “we spent hours having sex”, “we did everything...”, patients remember.
In these cases of vigorous initiation and final apathy, women are the ones who complain most about their male partners. They were encouraged to express themselves in matters of sex, either by previous experiences or by the force of desire, without hesitation or inhibition.
Other relationship models reveal that it was men who encouraged their women to enjoy the encounter between bodies. However, the passage of time, or assuming that the relationship “functions on its own” and no longer needs efforts to take it out of what's known, are sufficient motives for leaving oneself to be carried away by monotony. If we add to this panorama evoking the best of past sex the incomunicación of the present, the conflict worsens.
From silence to complaint
There are women who suffer alone: they don't dare to pose the problem out of fear of not being understood. There are also those who justify her present believing that 'it must be this way', that the passion of the beginning has been lost and only conformity with 'what is' remains. And finally there are those who do not conform to routine and want to 'try out' different tastes that sex offers them.
If decades ago women accepted sexual routine with resignation, today they demand to keep sex alive. They accept that time passing and living together can detract from passion and intensity, but also know how to turn these conditions into experience and desire for change.
Men also complain
If women complain about their men being 'boring', they don't stay behind, only their demands to get out of 'vanilla sex' date back to the beginning of the relationship. From their mouths you hear the classic: 'she's always been like that' and they describe with few examples the poverty of resources: 'I can't touch her', 'she doesn't want me to give her oral sex and doesn't think about me doing it either', 'I don't know if she's ever had an orgasm'.
Men resign themselves faster than women and use justifications that allude to myths about female condition: 'women are less sexual than men', 'she was educated very repressively', 'women are more modest' or the typical belief: 'I won't ask my woman things I'd do with a prostitute'.
Men who can get out of these rigid patterns that underestimate feminine erotic capacities are better disposed to help their women break with sexual inhibitions. Of course, there has to be desire for change, mutual agreement, communication and prioritizing intimate moments.
* As in the example of ice cream: you have to choose other flavors.
* Interchange taking the initiative.
* Take time to caress each other and feel the other.
* Remember that the goal is the entire erotic encounter, not penetration.
* Use external stimuli: Lights, music, erotic films or sexual toys.
* Gradually introduce novelties.
* Share what each person felt.
* Enhance the next encounter: 'go for more'.
0 comentários - Sexo vainilla: ¿Hombres con poco sabor?