Humor - Gay Test and Male Guide

Before anything I clarify that I didn't create the post with the intention of offending anyone. The post is just for humor and it made me laugh a lot when I found it, so I'm sharing it now with you guys: Laugh out loud for a bit!!

MASCULINITY TEST

I present the following updated test on male homosexuality. It is based on attitudes, postures and ways of facing different aspects of daily life. The points for each item are cataloged with various colloquial and popularly extended terms (marked with capital letters and in parentheses), which typify a certain sexual inclination: Favored SportsFootball, rugby, basketball, boxing, car racing. (guy)
- Tennis, table tennis, volleyball... (CORDERITO)
- Aerobics, dance, step... (crazy person)
- The same, but with wine... (slacker)Presents You Prefer to ReceiveA good whisky or red wine... (male)
A piece of clothing....................... (FINOLI)
Sweets, bonbons, etc...................... (TROLO)
Flowers and/or perfumes................. (MORFON)USE OF CREAMS AND TANNING LOTIONSDon't use... (ARIA)
Use only a little in summer...(MACHO)
Use quite a lot in summer...(SLUT)
Use plenty all year round...(QUEER)TREATMENT OF THE PETSHis dog lives outside and feeds it sporadically by throwing away leftovers. - His dog lives inside, eats special food and is petted all day .. - His kitten lives inside, pets it a lot and even sleeps in its own bed.USE OF THE BIDETDon't use it... (SEMENTAL)
Use a little, sometimes...(LI MPITO)
Use a lot and with warm water...(MARICA)
Use it every time you go to the bathroom (even when brushing your teeth)(PUTO RECALCADO)TREATMENT OF THE PLANTS - Feeds on some of them......................(RAMBO) - Has some plants outside..........................(MACHILLO) - Cares with zeal indoor plants...................(CHUCHI) - Also waters and prunes plants and flowers in the garden.......(REMARICONAZO) USE OF MIRRORDon't use it (VIKINGO)
Use only to comb your hair (COQUETO)
Looks at his muscles on the torso quite a bit (PUTO AUTOEROTISTA)
Same and also looks at his glutes (LOCA DESATADA)
Looks at himself with different wigs and outfitsHAIRDO- Doesn't comb her hair...........................(CAVERNICOLA)
- Combs her hair after showering..................(MACHULIN)
- Combs her hair several times a day.................(MARICOTA)
- Does brushing, uses gels, fixatives and dryers....(TROLAZO)
- Also combs others' hair and advises...................(SE LA COME DOBLADA)Household CleaningBar only when it feels the crunch of various sediments, under the sole of the boots...........(TROGLODITA)
Bar when it sees dirt in the corners...........(ROMÁNTICO)
Clean with water and detergent. .....................(FIFI)
Clean with water, detergent, and perfume. ............(TROLIN)
Also use vacuum cleaner..............................(REPUTO)FAVORITE MEALSLarge roasted animals, very spicy stews. TARZÁN
Grilled sausage and egg salad to not gain weight. SENSIBLE
Soy milk cutlets, soups. MARICONETE
Birds with skin removed accompanied by steamed vegetables. PUTAZOFAVORITE DRINKSBeer, House Red Wine, (STUPID BEER) - Scotch with ice (FINE TYPE) - Long and fizzy drinks (SLOPPY) - Fruit juices and very sweet liqueurs (PUSSY) - Banana, strawberry, raspberry smoothie with lots of sugar and sweeteners. (GUY WITH FEVER)DANCEHalf on foot and for breaking little things .(SHAKA-ZULU)
- Disco music bringing a spectacle .....(DÍSCOLO)
- 1st Comparsa dancer Mari-Mari.....(RECONTRAPUTAZO)Personal Hygiene - Takes a shower in 5' with soap to wash clothes and cold water............(GURKA) - Washes quickly with shampoo...........................................(HOMEBY) - Spends more than 30' in the shower with liquid soap and shaving cream...(FAGAZO) - Takes a bath with salt and foam, in the bathtub...........................(QUEER WITH MONKEYS)THE MATEBitter and without nuts......(TIGER)
Bitter with little nuts.......(DOUBTFUL)
Sweet....................(DECADENT)
With citrus peel and honey .......(FAGOT TO THE MANGO)

The Devil's Handbook

1. It's very gay, only with pretty girls. The true omnivorous and wide-spectrum impaler gets everything that walks.

2. It's very gay to cry because the water is cold. A true Mapuche cacique makes a plancha in Nahuel Huapi in balls and winter.

3. It's a cum-eater with a sweater and shaved head, resetting the PC using CTRL + ALT + DEL. A true male desockets the CPU and plugs it back in like you plug into your sister.

4. It's very gay to take a capuchino. A good male takes black coffee well and bitter (and using saccharin in the capuchino makes you even more gay) also it's very gay for soplapetes who don't like it, even if it's only one AC/DC song.

5. It's a caiman without teeth (only defends with booty) raising your hand to ask in class. Coco Basile asks without permission.

6. It's oral penis milker taking seriously the whistles and fines of the parasitic Urban Guard forros.

7. It's very, but very gay to have a page on Myspace. The true Argentine male doesn't need Internet to get cuties and friends.

8. It's someone with a full butt who cuts off the light to change a fuse. Every male must be prepared to receive an electric shock (it's very gay to die of that).

9. It's a slut Chihuahua in heat putting Caladryl for mosquito bites. The true Zidane header takes a well-tapped tetra, which if mosquitoes bite them, they die poisoned.

10. It's a repressed homosexual who doesn't feel sexual attraction to the sister of the girlfriend. Every male feels like putting it on her, even if she's ugly, just because she's the sister.

11. It's a sad little gay person resentful of getting citizenship from a foreign country and showing it off at clubs to win. The third-world native son, son of San Martín and Mitre, conscious of the shit hole where he was born, doesn't ask for foreign citizenship, and if they give it to him, tells them to shove it up their ass.
12. He's a fag, but very much so, Booty with vertigo and catador of porns goes with the boss to any meeting they invite him to. The real Shaka Zulu, Homo Erectus, screwdriver of teresos, looks at the gerentito in the eyes and tells him to go take a shit!!!
13. He's very precocious defending Brujita Verón, let's relax, if you want a bald one, I have the biggest here!!!
14. He's a fag, fan of Florencia de la V who makes holes with porns going out with friends to eat sushi!!! The real Argentine male descorchador of pendejas joins in the countryside to eat an asado.
15. He's Carlo's friend Polino, eats trouts from the Atlantic Ocean, container chupador full of imported Somalian porngas, saying that in football it's important to compete. The real big cock Argentine trotamundos, cocks everything on Earth, makes a mess of the rival just to win, leaves life in every battle and if he loses, arms a quilombo so the referee suspends the game.
16. He's GIGAPUTO, licks his scrotum, soba meat on the bar, cleans his teeth with a meat brush, is a fag employee for life with the credential hanging from his belt, the Macowens outfit every day and Restaurant Tickets. The real Sandro patagonian, Kunta Kinte emperor not only doesn't look for work but has nothing hanging except his balls. Every day is casual and he puts on a suit to attend a funeral or get married or ask for a raise.
17. He's a fag watching the movie El Señor de los Anillos and likes the elf with bow and arrow. The real male identifies with the porongón dwarf who wants to take it up the ass with everyone.
18. He's a reputation Booty voracious using delivery. The male goes to the pizzeria, buys there, waits and eats a meat empanada while saying Cuck from the moped takes out the seat to sit directly in the pipe. 19. It's a legitimate ball that any pipe comes well to watch soap operas like Montecristo and Sos mi vida. The real Toro Porongator, takes over the TV and looks at TyC, ESPN or Fox Sports.