I don't know how you guys got through this gray and fresh weekend that we just got over. I can't tell you exactly what I spent most of my time on, but I can offer you a post that has absolutely nothing to do with it: the 40 things in life that everyone learned by watching pornography on the Internet. To know:
1. Ron Jeremy is beautiful and every woman gets excited uncontrollably at his presence.
2. All blacks... already know.
3. If you go to your friend's house and find the mother alone, make sure you screw her.
4. Your friends' mothers are blonde ladies no older than 43 with huge breasts and provocative clothing.
5. If a man wears towel socks, it's really sexy.
6. Women often have sex while wearing boots or high heels.
7. Guys who deliver pizza never stop parking the little red car.
8. Same with traffic cops: women will do anything to avoid a fine.
9. Nurses are very attractive and harass their patients.
10. Any blonde silicone woman is still in high school if you put her in a jumper.
11. The period is an urban legend.
12. So is pubic hair.
13. Same with condoms.
14. All women are bisexual.
15. All women enjoy having sex with 17 fat and ugly men to death.
16. If a woman is sleeping... don't wake her up for anything.
17. You can do it in the water, calmly, without any problem.
18. Men don't mind seeing themselves naked and excited in the same room.
19. The best music for sex is made with synthesizer hats.
20. Everyone always had the secret desire to see the Ninja Turtles, Simpsons, or Smurfs having sex with each other.
21. Everyone repeats oh yeah when they copulate.
22. Men have erections wherever, whenever, and whoever it may be.
23. All men are circumcised. 24. Everything happens outside, except for extremely honorable exceptions.
25. All women are multiorgasmic.
26. All of them scream like wounded hyenas, without exception.
27. Nothing ever hurts.
28. If you're having sex with your girlfriend at her house, it's sure that her roommate is touching themselves behind the door.
29. If you catch a woman giving herself pleasure, she won't scream from shame: she'll screw you either way.
30. All twins like to share their man.
31. Every secretary secretly (or not so much) desires her boss.
32. A man never masturbates.
33. If your girlfriend finds you with another girl, she won't get angry in 56 different languages: she'll fight with both of you.
34. On the face. They adore it.
35. Japanese women cry when they have sex.
36. Never in the history of the world has a Chinese man gotten an Occidental woman.
37. Everyone has a sex tape.
38. The size of the member is inversely proportional to the beauty of the face.
39. If you don't change position at least seven times, it's not worth it.
40. If you make jokes in public, you won't get arrested.
I hope they liked it.
1. Ron Jeremy is beautiful and every woman gets excited uncontrollably at his presence.
2. All blacks... already know.
3. If you go to your friend's house and find the mother alone, make sure you screw her.
4. Your friends' mothers are blonde ladies no older than 43 with huge breasts and provocative clothing.
5. If a man wears towel socks, it's really sexy.
6. Women often have sex while wearing boots or high heels.
7. Guys who deliver pizza never stop parking the little red car.
8. Same with traffic cops: women will do anything to avoid a fine.
9. Nurses are very attractive and harass their patients.
10. Any blonde silicone woman is still in high school if you put her in a jumper.
11. The period is an urban legend.
12. So is pubic hair.
13. Same with condoms.
14. All women are bisexual.
15. All women enjoy having sex with 17 fat and ugly men to death.
16. If a woman is sleeping... don't wake her up for anything.
17. You can do it in the water, calmly, without any problem.
18. Men don't mind seeing themselves naked and excited in the same room.
19. The best music for sex is made with synthesizer hats.
20. Everyone always had the secret desire to see the Ninja Turtles, Simpsons, or Smurfs having sex with each other.
21. Everyone repeats oh yeah when they copulate.
22. Men have erections wherever, whenever, and whoever it may be.
23. All men are circumcised. 24. Everything happens outside, except for extremely honorable exceptions.
25. All women are multiorgasmic.
26. All of them scream like wounded hyenas, without exception.
27. Nothing ever hurts.
28. If you're having sex with your girlfriend at her house, it's sure that her roommate is touching themselves behind the door.
29. If you catch a woman giving herself pleasure, she won't scream from shame: she'll screw you either way.
30. All twins like to share their man.
31. Every secretary secretly (or not so much) desires her boss.
32. A man never masturbates.
33. If your girlfriend finds you with another girl, she won't get angry in 56 different languages: she'll fight with both of you.
34. On the face. They adore it.
35. Japanese women cry when they have sex.
36. Never in the history of the world has a Chinese man gotten an Occidental woman.
37. Everyone has a sex tape.
38. The size of the member is inversely proportional to the beauty of the face.
39. If you don't change position at least seven times, it's not worth it.
40. If you make jokes in public, you won't get arrested.
I hope they liked it.
3 comentários - 40 things that porn teaches us
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