Give it a play and read the post
link:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V8UpYZyFysA
The night I realized I was dead, wasn't a melancholic night or anything like that, it was one of those summer nights and weekend nights where the air is filled with party vibes, I was at work thinking about what to do when I got out or if there was something to get out of the party until my girlfriend told me without warning did you know your ex got married in that exact moment I felt like everything was fine, nothing could affect me but as the hours went by it was clear it wasn't and my head was haunted by deadly questions like how did it happen? Is he happy with his new partner? Why does life treat me so badly? And etc. Finally the clock marked the time to leave work, the only thing that could save me was the party but not just yet everyone already had plans and I didn't... I got to the point of a crisis in the locker room at work but never let them see me weak so I washed my face and kept going like nothing was wrong and sent a desperate last WhatsApp to a friend to get out already, almost arriving at my house I didn't have reception, arrived, ate dinner and if that WhatsApp had reached my friend M for his party from now on that night I went out with the clearest objective of all: getting drunk, those sloppy drunks that leave hangovers for days but the night was slowly taking its toll on me when the party ended and we left chatting with M lost in those conversations of drunk people where he was telling me about his boyfriend I realized I had an epiphany I was dead, not literally but in a less earthly sense I was dead because I didn't have love in my life, I mean I have family but it's not the same, I have friends but sometimes they're not available or if I've had a terrible day who can I turn to? My cat? I said I discovered that everything I've achieved in life I did alone and the happiest moment of my life was when I was dating because I could share it all with him and more it went badly and well again I got up like usual, just left I had casual sex with people I met, and I was in a relationship three times more but nothing serious. The thing is that just at this stage of my life after a very dark period, good things are finally happening, too good, I'd say, but... if there's always a but, I'm alone, surrounded by people, surrounded by cynicism, surrounded by noise, and I'm not noticed, with only my mood swings, in silence. And that's when you start wondering if the guy I had sex with last weekend feels the same or if the one from the other weekend is looking for something to mitigate this loneliness, or maybe the guy who's currently in my shower just wanted that human warmth and comforting company for a few hours, and he pays me back with oral sex or worse. I'm starting to notice that in our community, very few people are able to truly love, even when they argue with each other, but by hour three, they're already done with the fight and go buy ice cream as a symbol of peace with each other, or even express their feelings completely like crying knowing they'll find a warm hug or a desperate kiss to return the smile on that face. I don't think I'm crazy, I don't think I'm the only one who thinks this way, but if once more... BUT it's getting very hard for me to carry this situation, maybe I think too much, maybe I'm just jealous of my ex, maybe I'm tired of always being strong and want to be a spoiled brat for once or maybe I'm dead. In the end, that night talking with M about his guy, I realized that in the end, love is the best thing, and I advised him to fight for it and take care of his guy because I really don't want anyone to feel what I'm feeling today, and I ask our community to help guys who are just starting out in this magical and crappy thing called love and ask them to take care of it, because promiscuity is. It's good to be screwed, but we all reach a moment when we want someone on the other side of the bed to hug us not for sex but to know that we're here and we live for each other and finally I ask you to tell me if I'm very wrong in my thinking or is it just a reflection of pseudo-maturity to look for something more than a bed.
Thanks in advance and I recommend this movie
link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9HHdOG6LTrE
Thanks for your comments already
8 comentários - La noche que supe que estaba muerto (relato gay)
Es hermoso estar enamorado, sentirse amado es el estado perfecto! Nosotros estamos iluminados porque nos tenemos, contra los prejuicios y la mala onda, hemos hecho de nuestra casa nuestro castillo.
Te entendemos, el vacío que se produce es hondo, pero no es eterno. El amor siempre llega, a veces nos damos cuenta y otras no.
Fuerza! Ánimo!
No estás muerto, de la muerte no se vuelve!!!
ninguna molestia!
gracias gordo.
bs y mucha suerte animo!
Pero eso llega con la madurez cerebral...
Lo importante es que si buscas algo más, te fijes bien con quien lo estas haciendo...
A veces cambiar de aires ayuda a encontrar m